and yet... something is missing.

So raya falls on Thursday. And i am sooo relieved. I have not finished my homework which is due tommorow (and its so difficult). and Mr G is so fussy.

Lately, the only things i have in mind is.. something (or rather.. some people), digicam and some thing for special kids or underprievilaged children..it'll certainly make them happy won't it? besides, allowance is out (thing is..i just don't know how to make it happen =//). If i start thinking of something.. i'll think about it so much. Seriously, i am still thinking of how to make it happen.

I've been trying to make life as interesting as possible. I mean waiting for TEST MARKS is interesting isn't it?? and antar hw the day before puasa.. aha. alum ada wa test marks a! dri pagi dah ku mencek website cgu hasnah ah. Ciss. Aku mau liat if ku pass ka inda... But seriously, i'm trying to live my passion right now. Jungle, travel, conservation, biology, performing arts, languages (fyi..saya membali phrasebook tieng viet udah =p damit plang n murah. tapi thing is aku inda tau if sebutan ku lurus. Cuba sapa dpt ajar aku Tieng Viet..ajar ku) aha and aku mau ne a meliat toyota classics lagi tahun ani. Siapa2 yang rasanya minat kan ikut.. dangani ku. Bayar sendiri. Aha n aku ne sedang mengintai PGL musical 3 dri website. Ku dangar kan main lagi wa. aku mau liat.

Baju first day raya ku alum ciap. aha.

Bah out. kan tido ku kali dulu =p bru buat hw haha

Small mammal trapping

Yesterday was my turn to volunteer for the small mammal trapping at Tutong. Honestly, i don't really know what to expect since its my first time and its still fasting month. And si barak di msg mcm sarcastic "siuk tu.." haha. Fetched shaky at 7+am and rushed to ubd. Rupanya pakai van ke Bukit Udal. And there were 3 (i think) sites. Shaky and i went to the third to help our senior, kelly. We had a guide with us since our site is an undisturbed forest. Didn't take much picture because we were busy finding the traps and finding way to walk in the forest. (nada tracks bah). Mostly, what we did in the morning was to find these traps and record the animal that has been trapped, mark it and release it. Mostly it was done by the senior. I helped her with recording and shaky helped with balance and ink. It was not but not scorching hot (thanks to the trees)

Kelly trying to see if its a male or a female. Shaky.. ready to give the spring balance.

One of the animals that went into the trap.

Rested at the guide's house. Slept. hmmm i can sleep everywhere if you notice =p haha. The afternoon session was the most fun one. We were supposed to rebait the traps and record any animals if there are any in the traps. But guess what.... it rained! all the way~ haha. Still, we went in to rebait the traps and do more recordings. Walaupun basah dh. I think we worked faster in the rain. I couldn't really find the traps in the mornings because i was busy looking at the ground. But in the afternoon, it was easy to find despite the rain and wet ground. I guess i just want to get it done with. Owh.. and i did not bring my hand phone in the afternoon because we expected the rain so we left it..takut basah.

It wasn't my first time in the forest but it was my first to wander around the forest on our own. It was my first time going while fasting. and mostly, untuk pertama kali aku inda kan tegelincir! =) Terima kasih kasut baruku. aha it should be. mahal ku bali. Well ada plang kasut yang 30 labih tapi atu tandanya "running" ada sebuting tandanya "off road" inda ku brapa paham so aku bali yg tandanya "all terrain" dapat jua pakai tarus nanti kalau ada travel ka apa. skali mahal ciss. inda papala. haha cali tho masa ku bali. Org bali kasut raya aku bali kasut all terrain. Btw the brand name is New Balance (and i never felt so balanced in my life. Promo. hehe.)

Honestly, i really had fun. Inda jua kerasahan banar puasa atu wlpn skit jua kepala eh gastric udah kan balik ah haha. rugi sapa inda ikut.. =p siuk... I want to volunteer again but hmm still waiting for si Shaky. I wouldn't mind going during raya. But not today. Its still puasa and besides I have some hw to do and its due esok. Bah loves. Owh. and i was thinking..since i don't think i'll find time for rehearsal for the play.. maybe i'll be a tree. Or egrets haha. i want to take part in the bio play bah. bah out for real.

kamu pikir esok raya ka inda?

Rat Trapping.

27/Sept/08

A proper post for my friends serantau dunia to see what i've been up to these days. The rat trapping at Gadong market was my first BioCop volunteering activity. We sent Suhanna off at the airport in the evening, bought food and rushed to UBD. Like i said, we did not have a proper sungkai. FOS is scary at night. Haha.

Learning how to set up traps.

Went to market after that. Put bananas as bait and leave it. While waiting we walked to the mall and make some dedications. (but we were rushing to go back so those dedications were kind of a rush.)

We ran back to market to find out that only a few of us were there so we decided to eat (outside of the market) The smell was awful but like i said, we don't think, we just eat (lapar dh). ANd btw makanan itu lah yg membuat aku ke spital esuknya.

A rat went into my trap. ehee. Somehow i don't really find them berigali. Just berijap saja sebab ganas. haha

The dudes. Faisal, Barak and Ak B.

Si byl relocating trapnya.

I had fun. I stink. My car still stinks. Haha. laju saya mandi tarus ba malam itu. But seriously, i really do find it fun =)

25-Sept-08- Biologist begila.

This was one of those days a lot of us were down. We went to lab early and cheer ourselves and each other up with pictures and nonsense jokes.

First year biologist 08/09

"kamu mau beshisha??" hahaha look at tangan si Loh yaw. Flask yg nada solution. Ketara jua posing tu.

T, Ummi (darling ku yg turn nya hari isnin), Husrin, VS (si harum) and Loh.

Anu baah. Cemana kan lukis ani kamu?? haha (one of those spp that we were supposed to draw)

angin,

While downloading some biology practical pictures from multiply...took a few minutes to look back at old photos. hmm.

I miss.
...more than you'd think i do right now.

so gome ne.
='(
ahha. Like i said, hyper ku seribu makna.. ;p bah kepada kamu serantau dunia. Walau di mana kau berada... i would've said "salam. malam (pagi). kiss kiss." to you if i'm close to you right? now i add something: "malam. kiss kiss. salam sayang dri brunei"

telah di kunci. di bwa lari. Angin menerbangkan. kesana sini.....angin angin ~~ (apparently ada org ckp ane lirik terbaru ku. org atu capi. =p) *can't sleep* aku supposed to be mammal trapping bah ne. sigh. tpi terkenang ku kan... ytah cannot sleep er.

Loves T

this was editted.

hmm. Still... not really that good deep inside.

thinking about things...



Maybe i need more purple to cheer up...


Oh wait... Purple only appears when i don't expect purple would appear. Hahaha awu ba. i know u know that i am just fooling around. But that dimpled cheeks really bring out some smile man ;p cross out jalan berlenggang. =p=p


PS- BYL. no harm dreaming ei? Sniff kan belawan ngan aku ko. Kalau ya... gerenti ko manang tu byl ~ from the looks of it, purple prefers to tagur kau (a guy =p)astagafirr inda bek cemani ani bek tah ko confirm kan sangkaan mu. jdi org jahat tani krg menuduh sembarangan. Like i said, i know you know that i am just fooling around BUT who knows, I might make a MAN outta him.=p WHo knows one day dri jalan belenggang jadi jalan macho man =ppp aaahh sahlaan aaa~ hahaha lastly, byl. sadang2 byl aa. jgn di urat purple atu hahahaha.

Bru jua ku kan sentimental meliat gmbar2 kitani, ko sabut tia si purple anee. haha. Krg tebwa ke mimpi MU byl =pp. ko pajall~ aku layan eh kalau ko kuat nagur ya atuu *garam ati sbb aku inda kena tagur* krg ko yg susah. AKU layan. Aku pasrah saja~ demi kawan ku tersayang ne. =pp Hahaha aduii. pembwa keceriaan banar si purple ane.

hmm.

MIROTIC mv

ahaha i've seen this last week i think but they're too sexy so i decided not to post it =p but nyeeh inda baik karit ane kan. =p mirotic new from DBSK =DD LOVE THE DANCE MOVES. seriously...SEXY. haha jngn di renung mal ah. turned on krg si junsu menari menari shekshi a. Hehehe. i find this even better than Purple Line.

Santan is nyaman.

Hmm. funny how people are trying so hard to keep things from you say entah and so on so that you won't feel...dfferent. Well, i don't feel that way. amd its okay. you don't think i'd noticed that in you right? haha mata ku semakin tarang kali aa.

Saya tidak berpuasa pada hari ini =/.

Tadi pagi ku kena bagi ubat gastric mcm ngangah ku dan ubat ubatan lain. Bida jua tu. Just an hour after sahur, perut ku macam kena blender. and i ended up throwing out all my food, twice. Its not fun having to sit outside the toilet while your stomach goes rollercoaster like. and had to cancel my class. I think last night's food ada santan wa. Apparently, my stomach can't really tolerate coconut's milk. Ani aku paksa makan ubat setangah jam before aku isi perutku blek. kan..aku naik pangkat! Dari org yang inda pandai jara. Ke jara sedikit. haha. Banarnya, nada rasa ku kan makan now (tapi kena masakkan). Sebab lain mseh rasa nya perut ku ne. Macam kalau ku isi... boleh keluar lagi.


After finding for an olympus camera yesterday( that i can throw into tasek merimbun and it'll still be okay) all over brunei muara, i found it! brand new. Only 2 in stock. And its cheaper than QQ-estore. Damn!. But the picture quality isn't really good (for far focus) still i really like the fact that that that camera can go to water and it'll be okay. Or freeze it in refrigerator and it'll still be fine. Tapi kalau gambar inda brapa tarang cana jua ah. hmmm. =/ i might just get that...=/ maybe. Ishh haritu adiku ne kan mau dh sharing bayar ne. sekali teliat tia mp3 sony! ciss inda tia jadi kan bali mp3 tia saja. capi wa. skali ada tiaa sony yang baru aa. yg NIPIS. mahal tho. haha suka ku wa benda nipis ne. hmmm. Si VS capi wa membali ya udah.

Out. I'll prolly post something on the rat trapping with pictures and all once si byl upload aku dan tikus ku. sakai. aha baru ku tepikir...will i be okay for tommorow's small mammal trapping in Kerangas forest with this stomach?

Warna ungu menawan ku.

..

Purple really made me smile today ;p

..

Menangkap tikus.

I am too tired to blog. Just got back from rat trapping at Gadong market with Byl-my first ever BioCop volunteering.

And i've never been to the market since.. god knows when and toNIGHT, i went there. aha. What an improvement =p Honestly, rattus rattus aren't that filthy at all. They are hostile. They jumped around trying to break free- just normal things animals do when they get trapped. Awu, a rat went into my trap. Suka ku eeh. Hhehehe. We even ate outside of the market. Haha mihir plang kalau d pikirkan. Tapi kami inda pikir... kami makan saja mun udah inda sampat sungkai usai luan gagas kan menangkap tikus. (again.. self improvement. =p) The downsides are that my car stinks and I STINK. don't worry, i mandi this time aa =p

Next volunteering will be on monday. Hus and i will go on small mammal trapping in some kerangas forest in Tutong. Puasa time. the schedule goes like 7.30 am to 5 pm so i hope i can go through it. The rest seems to be reluctant to volunteer during raya so they (we) picked mondays. I am just worried if i can copr. My body would be very very weak by the end of the day. i just hope i could.

Honestly, i don't mind volunteering time raya. its not like i am feeling the vibe anyway. We had test just now. And we'll have more after the break especially maths and geo.. So you can't really call this one week a break anyway. Bah i am actually so tired now that i think i'd fall asleep anytime.

loves T.

Hyun Bin. Je suis célibataire and i am available for you.

i want hyun bin =) hyun biiiin sigh. HYUUUN BIN~~~

HYUN BIN!!! argh lucky girl si song hye kyo. Pretty lagi tu. And berlakun ngan hottie ku. Hmmm. kalau aku selawa iya. ku ngaap dh tu si hyun bin a =p hahaha shun bebeh ku... ai ren ku dari negri Jepang la. SI hyun bin bleh jadi ai ren ku dri negri Korea. aissh cair saya eh hyun bin atu eh. i can't wait for this drama. Cubatah ya ada beard and all macam in snow queen. Cairn amat ku kali a. Macam MnM ku wa mliat ya inda clean shaven a.

I've been tagged by someone who's supposed to be studying biology for test.

...just like me but nyeeh =p

1) What is the most important thing in your life?- You you YOU and everything else =)

2) What is the last thing that you bought with your own money?- tipex =D

3) Where do you wish to get married?- Di Masjid. =p

4) How old do you think you will be permanently owned by your love?- Berijap jua bunyinya. No comment (ahahah mau jua jawapan selebriti atu)

5) Are you in love?- Yes... always. I have to much love to give remember. better yet. make a guess if i'm kidding or not. =p ahah.

6) Where was the last restaurant you had dinner?- Mister Pizza.

7)Name the latest book that you bought?- accounts book.

8) What is your full name?- Nur Atiqah

9) Do you prefer your mother or father?- I am not answering this. Tho you'd know which.

10) Name a person that you really wish to meet in real life for the first time.-Leonardo Di caprio. Bleh dua?? Aku mau Carl Zafran jua kalau ya ada banar other than just a fictional character.

11) Christina or Britney?-Dk Buzz..=p

12) Do you do your own laundry?- Heee. no.

13) The most exciting place you want to go?- heaven.

14) Hugs or kiss?- aii hug and kiss saja. More??.. =p

15) 8 things I am passionate about:- Family, Friends, Travel, Laughters, Love, Life. TV and He who makes these happen.

16) 8 things I say too often:- 'basically', 'capi', 'ko pajal~' 'apa eh' 'setaie' 'i study so much today' 'i love you' 'i miss you' (and yes the last two sentence i say to lots and lots of people. because spreading love is such a happy thing to do)

17) 8 books I’ve read recently:- Ferns of Singapore, Oxford dictionary of Biology, Biology- starr taggart. Dictionary of French. English vietnamese phrasebook (oops=p i did say i've gotten interested in the vietnamese language right.) .....hmm i haven't been reading much books lately.Not quite the book worm. I only read for practicals. =p aha

18) 8 songs I could listen to over and over again:- Lucky - jason mraz & colbie caillat, If- tae yeon (ost of hong gil dong), Aku cinta mu apa adanya-once, hampa, sampai kapan - ari lasso All the way- Frank sinatra and celine dion, my heart will go on- Celine, the nearness of you- norah jones.

19) 8 things I learned this year: I learnt how to- care so much, miss so bad, run so far, hide so often. I learnt that you cannot cling to long. I learnt to let go of some you wish were still here. I learnt what life is about. and most of all, i learnt how to love more.

20) tag 8 people. U reading this. Ur tagged.

still.

To Nurul Adibah : =pp ya mesti jua jolibee airport tu dang. yang lain mana i suka tu. haha.

To Ak B, I'm up for kankoku no ryori to nihon no ryori (comprende??);p ahaha le langue entrangeres is fascinating no? =p. Kesian jua si telinga carik inda pernah merasa. Haha. I want the pictures jua. Or maybe just a few yg inda sempat. I think i need the names of all the angiosperms and gymnosperms yang ada tadi. yg agathia ka namanya aku nda sempat yg male and female cones nya. Just send online kah dude. haha. email ka ku.

To VS: Sony yang mana?

And the rest... aku mau camera tahan lasak. I want a tough camera. And if possible a waterproof one. Or perhaps a camcorder kah. So i can bring it to the jungle, to the sea... haha anything's possible with biology. Gunung dan lautan kan kami redah ne. besides i love travelling, who know's where i'll go next so i want to capture moments too with a high mp camera not just my 2.0 mp hp. =) and i need something that doesn't break in my hands =p any recommendations?

And I (WE) are still hyper.



our laughters.. it really shows that most of us are still trying to memujuk diri sendiri.

Kepada sekalian alam. ahaa.

APA EHHHH KAMU ANII. CAPI EEEH. jangantah di blog naaah. BILLAH NE PUNYA PASAL. capieeee. mana kamu tau kalau ku tan tarik diri ka apa. =p

Kerol Firdaus... dude.. basar jua gambar atuu. bleeeh.. jgn di promote2...

lagi pun Awangku Billah pun masuk competition kali jua aa. ya lawa banget kali a time audition (yg terpaksa atu) compare to aku.

This is what i do when i feel lazy.

I bet ada org manggil aku kelanjian kali ne. But its okay. I have been acting like si lanji for the past few days. I'm supposed to study but i don't feel like it now. What we do in the library's lobby instead?









Haha and we got warned! =p (banarnya ada g tapi oleh kerna drg takut mua drg yg kena squeeze apa kna liat.. inda ku post) aaaahh macbook. =)





Went to huaho last night. Membawa rasa membali makanan sebab aku tesliur. skali nya inda jua ku makan semua. Actually, its a habit of mine to act wierd and all bila ku membawa rasa. haha even when i am not sure what is it that makes me feel that way. I guess i know why this time. Its not the singing. Its just that..i'm such a terrible person. I can't seem to find where i really belong. hmm mind me. Let me do the talking and you do the decrypting.



Yes allowance is out. I'm keeping most for a new camera. Aku mau yg dapat underwater. ada ka?? yg dpt masuk air? Manatau aku marine biology course nanti masuk laut ka. Or fresh water biology. haha. and I'm keeping most to go to places. Ramadhan is quite convenient actually. You don't eat much. haha. And i did say most. So i'm using some for something. hehe.

and one advice people, you can't just recieve and keep everything for your own use right?



hhm jalan jalan.

BANAR INDA KU SANGKA. Bida wa prasan kuu. Nada ku redi anything banarnya las week a. Udah kena paksa baru ku sibuk mencari lyric. almaklum org pelupa lyric.



BTW BILLAH PUN MASUK TOP 11 KALI AUDITION VOCAL AH. MASUK KALI YA AHH COMPETITION RAYA SONG. cceeh. Inda tia mengakun =p aku tu maybe cukup makan kali ja markah ku.



"ko pajal wa~"

sungguh ku tidak sangka......



=SSSS

still...i might just go on with it. wat say u?

hmm.

Batah jua kul 3 ani eh. Malas ku tidur lagi sama jua kan sahur.


i dreamt of someone tadi.


hmm i am not perfect. In fact, i might be the most unperfect person here. I still do feel jealous of how things go outside this little world of ours. I thought i've found where i belong but i lost track of what i've found.

and I know.. i should go online now but i am missing people badly. I miss people so much that i'd just rather stare than talk. There nothing much to be said as much as to be felt anyway. and i keep thinking whether you miss me as much as i miss you. In everything i do now..i feel that there's just a lot of things missing. and when i realise it.. i have not been surfing as much. Watch tv as much. Go out as much. Drink as much or even eat as much. all i've been doing is...walk. hmm. bah out. blajar kali bisai.


i miss people badly,i don't know what to say anymore.

gomen.

How we are./editted.

tertidur. Just woke up. i thought its sahur time. and its not. yet. I was so tired. i 'studied' a lot just now =p

HAHAHAHAHAH!! you should've seen his eyes... mcm org rajin wa skali ku toleh kan sbb dlm atiku 'gila rajin si byl ne' skali macam org high on drugs ne mata nya ah. kan tebuka pun inda. Apart from this, i studied a lot tadi =p

and i heard elaun kuar dh. i have not check. Nanti tah tunggu gaji plus elaun bnyak sikit. Kan bali camera ku wa. Mama aritu tanya wa "apakan isi nya barat banar waller ika ani" and i replied "duit" =p HAHA. mun ya barat... usin pacah jua gnya tu haa. Kapih ku ba ne wal ne. Kan kumpul duit utk blayar pun susah. Ukan nya murah ticket tani kan belarai kan. kan k ha long bay Vietnam pun... mahal. hmmm. baru ani ja ku dangar puteri gunung ledang musical kan main lagi d Istana Budaya. awu aku minat ba persembahan miani miani ani hehe. mun ngam ngam cuti PGL musical atu sanggup ku ne kali (kalau cukup). Batah plang dh ku bali cd musical atu tpi mau jua ku mlihat teater nya. Mun tak cukup sia sia pun ja aha. meliat orchestra nbt tah ja kali. orchestra........ =(. aha aku plan plang dh sebab it seems nada dangan ku ke orchestra so i might just sponsor my brother to go with me. hmm (org lain know will think of the price)

aku bru liat2 harga ke ... kan liat halong bay ku eh =p and ke siem riep liat angkor wat ahaha. batah plang dh ku hint2 arh mama and ya pass sulnya. aha mun smpai tahun dapan cukup jua ne save2 kan k halong and siem riep. bah kamu... hehe =)

btw kemarin ramai cakap aku lawa pada hari ini. Its the baju i know. especially si Sha "ko pajal" aha. Tapi sebenarnya nya rahsia kecantikan ku pada hari ini: awwu alum ku mandi tadi aaa =p hehehhh au naturale ba

shhhhh. =p

11.20 am.


I guess inda sempat now kan membuat sesuatu. Ada class at 12. esuktah ja eh. sambil2 membuang waktu i decided to gambar myself right now....aha. cuba kamu liat bisai2. Fresh usulku kan? Macam kemas aja.. ehehehh senyuman pun manis semanis nya.

Inda nampak kan aku alum mandi atu?? =p

ahaha shhh aku kan k ubd ne. (so i guess org yg ku jumpai krg inda sempat membaca ini ) btw aku mandi very late di malam so... conserve water kan g pun aku lum bepaluh. lapas mandi aher kemarin aku beraircon tnganya. =p semakin handal i membuat diri seperti sudah mandi. ahaha baik jua kawan2 ku org bio memahami ulah ku sebab aku malar k bio lecture (kalau ya masa friday or public holiday) dengan keadaan belum mandi. then again. Don't judge me. I'd bath when i smell okkay. aha. right now i am still like lastnight. seperti baru mandi =p bah out.btw m still trying to stay away from the internet. (n i failed to do so) Test and hws! in advance i want to say... awu kamuu aku alum mandi tadi tu eheeeehhh.

bah aku study.

sik nentu...

Sik nentu....

Aha. Kelmarin aku rindu kamu berabis.


someone saw me at the airport last night and he put his hands on his chest and said, "now i understand." I guess. Haha there are times when my hyperness means something and lastnight was one of those times. aku sayang kamu. aku sayang si dayat, dibah, billah, sahlan, zahar.. =p

Aritu kan aku ne hajat kan sambung hong gil dong ku wa skali ku buka dvd ku aa. SKALI APA NAH. tu lagu if ah (yg siring blog ku ani) lagu sedih a bemain.. then ada api2. then ada bunga. then ada "gil dong aa, i love you.." aha i know wth kan tapi bear in mind hong gil dong ane cerita zaman lama2 korea yatah the girl assume si gil dong ane inda tau wa apa erti i love you since its a modern word ya dpt while keraja di cina. skali nya gildong 'i love you too.' skali si yinok tanya if ya faham. and balas nya "babo,..saranghae". rupanya si gil dong ane faham aha. macam udah ujung2 hidupnya baru ya gto si yi nok ya faham. capi jua tu. Udah kan kena panahh..*spoiler* (its quite symbolic la but i understood) aku ne tebuka ending nya ba!!! ish.

Just got a green packet from someone and i am guessing that he might not be around during this raya not that we mind because... things get a lot chaotic when he's around the lambak residence. Kan lawat nenek ku eh. aha one of the neneks (yg apparently ramai) suruh beraya pat umah nya ba first day raya. 'jah come to my house ah' awu rugged yaw. nenek banar tapi speak english and drive sport car. cali ya takut mama inda faham bahasa bisdia yatah ya speak english. malas ku bnrnya kan raya arh dat side.

Bah. i overslept bah ne. i kinda slept late. And there something i'm supposed to do today. Raya is near and honestly, i'm not feeling it. I think i'll go get this something done eh and start studying lagi.

ps- kamu pajaaal. . jgn ngumpat aku saja anee. aku tau plang tu kamu atu. inda pa laa sempena raya kan dakat ku maafin kamu.=p


biartia lu...

And I will REALLY try not to go online. Test test!! And as usual..before that.. song::

You'll know which if you've been following.

If i were to go
If i were to get close to you
What would you think?
I don’t have the courage.

If you were to go,If you were to leave.
I don’t know how to send you away
It keeps hanging on my mind

I know i am a fool and can only watch you from afar
Your heart may look away from me…
And so we could even become strangers

Just like a fool i can’t even say that i love you
because …We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad.

If you were to come
To come near me.What would i do ?
I really don’t know Because im like a fool.
Even though i know looking is all i can do
Your heart may look away from me
And so we could even become strangers

Just like a fool i can’t even say that i love you because….
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad

Because i’m like a fool
Even though i can’t say i love you
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad.

aha. Hong gil dong OST if. 3 it think i'm on the 7th or 6th dics and there's 9 dvd altogether. Sigh. Tak sanggup ku liat for now. The song is just so... bah kan aku kan buat card utk someone. And pala ku skit. Its the fever i guess.lalala.

Crazy Crazy Fast Life.

I will try not to go online until i think i've got myself on track.

its okay. Its okay like this i guess.i has got to be.

and when the two person i turn to when the feelings gets a little chaotic is far far away- one rajin buat hw in Da lian and sorang tiada kabar dari Nottingham, i need to learn how to pick myself up. Spend less time with the internet. Yes today we have class even when its public holiday. We have maths test (on a topic i don't really understand) again saturday. Doakan ku pass g ah. I passed last time. Next saturday just before raya, another important biology test. After raya are the very very important test(S). Then goes the presentation(s) and examinations before long hol. And for now i think i'm far behind in language, Biology, maths, Geography and computer programming (and thats juat about everything). Not to mention the vocal practices for a possible choir event. i was thinking of quitting but then.... sayang jua a. I've embarassed myself twice when i sang (since aku inda pandai nyanyi kan). Byl and i volunteered for the convocation event and kami pajal saja tia drg yang lain. The convo will be around October i guess. Banyak jua kan d buat aa.

and i need to start reading on something i am interested in. NO. its not Mandarin. Mandarin is just too difficult for me =p i am counting on a few 'relevant' words to learn from people and Dayangku isn't exactly being a great help instead she gave words which are 'irrelevant' and tak mungkin ada gunernye haha i need to start reading some biology because i am absolutely far behind. and maybe some additional bio subjects because i find Ferns interesting.

And i did mention that i joined the BNS right? Its Brunei Nature Society and i also joined the BioCop (which i am not exactly sure what it stands for i think its.. biodiversity conservation programme and according to them its Brunei's one and only conservation body). There were a few outings on the list starting with rat trapping sat Pasar Gadong(i don't know when but i'll take some pictures for you all yang jauh di sana untuk melihat si T tangani kemihiran nya)

i list out all this is not to make you all jealous of what's happening here because i am jealous of what's happening there. And this is a reminder for me of what i have to do.

its a crazy crazy fast life. and i miss you a lot. so in this fragile times i need to stay away i guess. run like i always do,

Bah. jangan heran kalau rambutku jadi blonde. Kalau kan jadi mad biologist ane jangan alang2. Sampai jadi blonde sampai..tenaik pebaik rambut a. haha. btw cuba kamu google alfred wallace and Charles darwin. One common thing about them is the beard. Macam Prof mohd. Hahaha. Barangkali beard catu tu tanda biologist kali. Bah Byl. Husrin. apa lagi. =p

Inda ku rindu.

Venue: Fass- Vocal class-competition.

Dan ketika lagu di mainkan,
Terasa diri ini kesunyian,
sayu meresap keseluruh badan
airmata bertitikan bagaikan hujan.

Dan ketika ku di suruh berlagu,
Ku sedar tiada lagi suara mu,
Yang selalu mengiringi ku,
Aku rindu...

Dan ketika mereka menyanyikan,
Apa yang kau selalu lagukan,
Tak seindah sepertimana kau mengalun kan.
Lagu itu tak sempurna tanpa mu teman.

Wo Xiang Nian Ni Men. Ni men. Ni men. Ni.

i hear you singing in their songs.

........

ps- aku beli mic dah~ ehe. kuar mseh suara ku walau inda clear =p ehe. kemarin giliran si dalian liaoning kan menaiyaa. ceeeh. kali ani giliran with love from tanah jambu ne. Dengar tia suara yg kamu rindui.=p=p aku nada rinduu =p aha. and kepada yg lain yg rasa2 nya rindu aku =p msn aku for the ID.

I know i am a fool...

if.

manyageh niga gandamyeon

niga ddeonagandamyeon

neol eoddeogeh bonaeyahalji

jaggoo geobi naneun geol

naega babo gataseo

barabolsu bakkeman eobtneungeon amado

wemyeon haljidomoreul ni maeumgwa

ddo keuraeseo deo mareojil saiga dwelggabwa

...

the drama is becoming more and more sad.

Qam furen.

Walaupun suara ku yg serak2 inda kedengaran (awu... my temperature rising since yesterday. Hence suara oso makin seksi tpi org nda paham pikirnya aku nangis saja tplang. Damam ku bah eh), aku b skype dengan seseorang yang ku rindui tadi. Btw ada ku ckp aku demam kan. Yatah merah atu. cecapi. hehe.

qam furen. =p

Wo ai ni. Please stop bullying me. You are so meanie. I said i don't want to play no more game anymore lo. U dun believe me a. Wa lau eh. ahaahaha. (mandarin tia krg kuar dialect lain hahahah) Seriously sayangku, i will (try) not... because it doesn't seem to be a right thing to... You know me. Aha i cannot forgive myself if i did a selfish thing. So jgn lagi ada dong kata2 seperti itu.

Kan kan ko inda ajar aku sehari sepatah kata kuar dilect apa ka tu. Ajar ku yg relevant ba eh. RELEVANT. =p Besides...yg ko ajar aku a.. . tak der gune nyer pun. haha capi ko a. esuk ku bali microphone. sediakan segala perkataan yg relevant a.

sesungguhnya aku merindui mu lebih dri pada kau merindui ai ren mu a. hahahaha.

eh eh i learnt a new sentence just for you.... =p=p you le ai ren le ma ? hahahaha lurus kah inda tu. cuba ko ckp arh lelaki cute mu a. mcm gila.. erotic tu ah hahahaha.

ni e ma?



ahahahaaha. cakap tia pat si cute a. hahahahaha.

Hj Muiz.//editted

Blayar tah kmu suma ehh. panuh jua post ku nee. nanti 5 in one ne org blayar ah.

Selamat belayar Hj Muiz, teman Bio ku yg inda g meneruskan ambil bio haha. Take care a sana. Sejuk tu edinburgh. I wanted to go to scotland banarnya tapi apa leh buat aha. Be a good geologist okay. rajin rajin belajar! Jgn di persiakan air mata si Pajrini and si Daia =p hahahaha


PAJRINI NANGAIII. WUHUUU. SI DAIAAA JUAAA. =p=p


aku maintain ja. aha.


editted// awu a. panya.. awu aku pernah tinggal d kapok. kenangan ku d Kapok apa nah... kucing kesayangan ku ilang. nangai jua eh. kiut kali a ucing ah. haha kalau ingat kapok tu ingat ku kan ucing tu. haha. (lain) sejak ucing ku ilang inda ku g sanggup wa melihara ucing. and To dibah. repeat after me "sahaja aku berpuasa esok hari bagi menunaikan puasa bulan ramadhan pd tahun ini kerana Allah taala" =p jgn gatal ani dibah. sabarr ahaha. eh tdi tu mata ku masuk paluh ba. ahaha. mana inda batah membersih =p haha.

Ridha.

Early this year, lina left. The three of us were there to send her -Nina, Ridha and i.
Then, Nina left 11 sept, and the two of us were there to send her- Ridha and i.
Today.. Ridha left, and there i was to send her. And now.. no i will not cry.

Keep that green letter yea. I made it myself just for you. You're my sister, i know you're like me in many ways. I know... more than anyone.. that you'll be sad even if you said you're not. Take care when you're there. We will not be around each other anymore during your birthday which is a day before mine. I'll miss how we bump into each other masa bali our birthday gifts. I'm so sure you'll be a great software engineer. Loves you. Loves the both of you. Suruh Nina contact aku a. Mcm i haven't heard any news from her since she left for Notts last week. I hope you'll settle down soon.


Ridha wadiah. My sister and always will be.

There are certain things i don't want to talk about, but people keep talking. There are certain things i don't want to listen, but people keep on mentioning. There are certain things i don't want to think about.. but people keep reminding.

Just for now stop looking into my eyes and say all the things that you say. Everything is fine. I am fine. Why would i not be.

just stop all your assumptions. Others might get hurt. I can't sleep if i think i've hurt someone.

i am fine. That everything are just nothing. Clearing up this mess. I know i shouldn't have... the game doesn't belong to me.



i am sorry.

Scientist are dangerous people.

Chatted with someone. Everything will be fine right? Maybe it'll be okay eventually. And NINA. Have you reached there safely? Contact me.

Since my goal now is to belajar sungguh2.. aha saya serious ne..i present you.. one of the greatest experiments yet to be done. Its a lot of physics. And no i am a biologist not a phycist but still it is understandable that LHC (large hadron collider) is a machine that accelerates particles at very high velocity. bla bla. I do understood what it is about however i am not interested in that. What i am interested is that some scientists argued that if this experiment goes wrong, it could create a black hole on earth that could swallow the earth. They argued that the LHC might be the start of the end of the world. Well a phycist said that if anything goes wrong, it will heat the earth up until the earth explodes. Bear in mind this is a huge experinment.

"The LHC was built by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN), and lies underneath the Franco-Swiss border between the Jura Mountains and the Alps near Geneva, Switzerland. It is funded by and built in collaboration with over eight thousand physicists from over eighty-five countries as well as hundreds of universities and laboratories"

The exoeriment was supposed to be done last week. I think. But it has been moved. Haha. A friend told about this. Her chemistry lecturer told her. For me.. Allah maha kuasa. Only He knows when the end of the world will be but yet it makes you think, that this experiment, colliding particles bla bla could still bring danger. Would you want your life to be risked by something that you have no say on? Just incase.. I love you all. =) aha.

Watch here. here and here.

I just knew that the next maths test will be THIS saturday. And alhamdulilah. I passed the last one. Lucky number 6.

Masih.

//if
I recieved a msg from a number yang ujung nya -136. tdi ptg. Banarnya i tot it was someone else msg panya.. well you know who. Awu pandai udah ya msg aku. bwwoh.
monday goes on like any other day. uni life sure is cruel isnt it. you have to go on even when there is a huge hole in your life. a few days ago i signed up for BNS and BioCop. and i changed my mind about something. I might be going on that rat trapping at gadong market activity. You know... biologist do crazy stuff. I think it'll be best to learn how to be mad from the seniors.

. btw really glad to know you're safe in uni already.

next best buddy.. esok. am i ready? No never am. never will be.

12mid night. aha. just like when i did that pink purple letter... i'm making another parting gift (which isn't the same but still all are meant for you all NOT to forget me) for another buddy. It makes me think. Maybe i should join that scrap book club. Not to forget si mul. Awu you get one too. hehe.

.

If....

.

For the one who can see the invisible.

14/09/08

='(

Sorry aku inda tahan. Maybe i should tell you that

i didn't want to exercise during the last days in fz instead i 'counted till 40' because i knew.. i couldn't count anymore. Thank you for not telling me your departure date until so late.. because i will count days. I didn't want to appear online since i started ubd... because i don't want to spend so much time talking to you anymore.. I didn't want to sing last friday...because, you sing with me always. I want to be angry at you during the last days because... you're the only one wh0 can make me really mad.

And i thought all those will make it easier to see you off. But its not..you know better that its not. so sorry aku inda tahan. And kau capi. Ko yang nangis dulu a. cana jua ku inda nangis.

thank you for the gift. kambang. karang nangis saja ku di sana. Kurus ku nee!! sebab exercise sambil nangis everytime liat gift mu.


Sorry for my wrong doings especially sebab aku slalu marah and buat ko marah. Thank you for.. everything. And ko hati karas..inda sedih?? Bull shit Khairul Nuar firdaus. I can see you when you're sad. just like you were when this picture was taken. Luar senyum. dalam sapa tau =p 'aku-tau-kek-untuk-aku'konon. i can see the invisible kali a.

the rest is in that pink purple letter.

I will wait for my surprise.

If...

siuk ceritanya. cali. sedih. romantis pun ada. I want my own hong gil dong if someone so sweet like him exist.

Diam.//editted.

Diam seribu bahasa.
Tawa berjuta makna.


To someone on lastnight. (you know who you are)

No, its not it. Its just something else.


you can see the visible, but can you see the invisible?
i w m h v.
eh eh. =p sorry eh. dude. i never imagined that what i told you before going home will make you sleepless. hehee. kuat bersedih panya ko ne.

My NINA.

11/9/08


The only one who can read my heart, my sastera and me, even when i never said anything, has left. So now. no one here will actually be able to read everything i keep inside. Now, who should i go to when i'm having a hard time? =(

Attended her function plus jemaah at her house. It was the night i'd never forget. It was our last night together..until next time that is. Plus, something (sad) happened that night. hmm. besides, i have not been around your family in ages. i am still worried. I hope everything will go fine.


Just so you know, you'll always be the darling out of my darlings, because... you know too much of me =p=p


Good luck. Rajin rajin belajar. Jangan kelaie saja dgn yang d Liverpool. jangan kan teingat kan kucing mu saja. Ingat kan si Tiqah saja ah. remember me always. And jangan lupa email aku slalu. Antar ku poskad eh =p btw thanks for the keychain. and and jangan pernah berubah. ;)

Sayang.

ps- BUAT BLOG EH. update kami baa dengan keadaan mu sana.

='(

hidup.

i m...


but then... running running and continue running.

i wonder how far i can go.

Since someone close to me is leaving today, i thought that its the time i'd give their souvenirs from my travels and souvenirs Lina bought for them. haha awu... ada yg last year punya dah i have not given them yet. And i just realised banyak aku alum bagi atu. Procrastinator banar. Bah out. Need to sort things out. Read a little bio for practical. And buy card... still mixed feeling.

That person who knows a lot of me.

Had a great escape with Petat and Husrin. (no i did not escape any class. but someone did)

Had breaking-the-fast gathering with the ladies. Soon, we'll have to wait for another year for such gathering.

Had a really great night out with Islam. Its been a while since we meet or chat. It's quite fun eventhough its only the two of us left. Talk about 'aku suka wax' haha. Thanks for dangani bali barang untuk someone who's leaving. And i really do hope, that small bag will still be there until allowance day.=)

Another one, someone very dear to me, will be leaving on a jet plane today. It is... hard. Very hard to see the only one i share almost everything to leaving. And to think that i want this person to stay for a while, while everyone else leaves...

sangat berat hati.

Salam. Malam. Sayang.

The air

I am testing you.
And you failed the test.


so I guess its fine if its like this.



I want to be like the air.

Tagged by Nurul Adibah.

State 15 wierd things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself.
The 10 people I tag are then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts.
No tag backs (:


1) I don't cook.


2) I was told to have WPW. So try not to startle me.


3) When i am unusually quiet, i am thinking.


4) When i put my fingers on my lips (as if biting my nails) while someone is talking, its either i am thinking about what that person is saying or i am judging that person from the way he talks.


5) I have the tendency to buy stuff for the people close to me. Aha.


6) Although i may look like a spender, i do save.


7) The only time i spend money for clothes is when i am overseas. So no, you can hardly see me spend on clothings. And some of the shirts i wore dates back in my secondary years (and now i am a uni student)


8) I have 6 Swatch skins- and i love each and everyone of them =p ahaha.


9) I am an emo. Pemarah and penjeles. And yes i am promoting my bad traits instead of the good ones, The good ones its up for people to see or not to see.


10) Saya tahu sepertinya saya ini gatal. (tapi gatal lagi Nurul Adibah) but no... guys don't melt melt me easily.

11) I have so much love to give =p=p like many saggitarians do. Sagis are romantis kali aa.


12) I love travelling. And you know this.


13) I am a collector- i mainly collect keychains esp to places i travelled to. and they are a lot. hehe. And i collect post cards too. And telephone cards. I have a drawer full of these collections. This is in the blood. My late grandad collect bells. My uncle collects expensive model cars.



14) And apparently i am fond of rocks too. I collect them =p hahaha. si T ani penapau ne.



15) And this is my laptops wallpaper



and i tag everyone reading this post. Carahh =)

asking myself over and over..

Is it okay if its like this??

yea.. its okay i guess. Its how things are supposed to be.

Status: appear offline. No one even noticed if i'm appearing online so what's the use right?

Asif Zardari, a president or just another widower of the late president.

And kepada si Mul yang ambil politics and government =p :

Duda si Benazir manang election in Pakistan aa.


Asif ali Zardari, the representing PPP (previously lead by the late Benazir Bhutto and they have a very handsome son =p), is branded as supremely corrupt. Ahaha. Read here


i considered taking politics mul...but then i still love bio more =D soo,.. aku jadi assistant mu ja mul eh the one who will update you with news since you're taking Pol and Govt. =p

The 10 minutes that worth 5%.

With 2 weeks of trying to understand the concept of the topic and only 3 hours of sleep, i turned these...

to these.

Thanks to the people who did not answer 'i have not revise' (sense the sarcasm)when i asked about the spatial and temporal characteristics of earth natural system, and gave their support though they too did not understand the topic. You know who you are- especially the one in Perth.

Bah outie. Gotta rush to skool for language tutorial. My monday is a full day. But that doesn't matter. I lost count of days already. will be back blogging properly.

Everything counts

Even for a 5%, everything counts.

i hope it goes very well esok. Amin.

Wish me success.

omoshiroi desu ne kono seikai.

btw japanese PM Yasuo Fukuda stepped down and its been in the news. And one commentary about Samak compares Yasuo with him. why? find it yourself.

yesterday the new pakistan PM escapes assasination attempt in rawalpindi. Last month pervez musharraf, former president of Pakistan was forced to resign due to ruling coalition. Just as how late Benazir was forced to resign and go into exile and eventually being assasinated in Rawalpindi. Just as how her father (i forgot his name) was betrayed and forced to resign and eventually being killed. The Pakistani political history is an ironic one. I mean, one overthrow one and become the ruler. And then find themselves being overthrowed by others who will become the ruler. And that ruler will be forced to stepped down again or assasinated. ironic.

look at what i found in wiki Sundaravej said "I will never resign in response to these threats.I will not dissolve the House.."

Now. My point is.. maybe samak never learn from outside politics.

I want to learn mandarin eh. (this is random)

Tej might be the catalyst for house dissolution.

i am happier than yesterday since i totally blacked out from 7+ pm to 4 am. i am tired. and i'm beginning to doubt if it is a right decision to choose maths this sem instead of chem.

And it wouldn't be fair right if i don't update you with the Thai situation. Its 8.08am and and every morning at 8 there be an international news on astro awani. Mum have not subscribe cnn asia.

Ted Bunnag, the thai foreign minister resigned on wednesday.

"Mr Tej resigned the day after his secretary Poksak Nilubol handed in his resignation.
"I resigned because I cannot work under a government leadership which assumes no responsibility for what’s going on in the country," said Mr Poksak.- bangkok post."

diplomatic sources said he resigned because he was upset with the political even past few days. But highly placed source said he resign because he needs time to nurse his ailing wife.

Again, our former gp tutor, Mr Boyce once told us, one person can be a hero on one side but on the other side he may be tho one who can bring further. It depends from which side you are looking at. And ofcourse both sides will give statements that will ensure that their place will not be at risk. That makes it difficult for us.. no? Us, the spectators just read news blindly, because its hard for us to know which is right and wrong.

You should read his cv and for someone of his status and knowledge to quit during state emergency, i'd say there must be more. Read here

Hiatus.


Having a hard time.



I just have no appetite lately. I just want sleep.

but i can't. there're lots of things going on. salam.

Try and open your eyes and look at it from our spectacles.

='(

No i am not fine.


I am biased and i might just continue to have a biased view to those who got the chance to study overseas. you cannot buy experience. Like billah said, you have stories to tell. handsome Krygystan, bastard drunks, bills to pay, language barriers... eurotrips, nippon-korea trip and what story do we have to share with others in the future? "masa zaman remaja dulu kami bejalan bepanas paluh bebau dari chancellor ke fass. lapas tu kerita ku paking di masjid. Sekali ku minta dangani org ke masjid ambil kerita sebab berijap." and this will go on for years. And not forgetting... "kalau kamu ada lelaki orang puteh kami ada org melayu. ni betimbun ah"


And no, i am not fine.


I thought HRD has informed the university of reading that i will not be going but it seems that they did not! i am very upset. I recieved a DHL mail of an official offer letter with the reading stamp on it. It says with the letter i have fully accepted the cost bla bla and that i am expected to register by september 26. Yes...i did not informed them because it hurts to say that i cannot go because i am not rich, after doing my best to get a acceptance. And now i have to because that bastard HRD have not told them. And yess. I am very very upset of having to do and sent that email


I tried to say its okay but when i think about it, it took my nights away worrying if i'll ever get a place and when i do, i had to email them and say: sadly i couldn't go.

I really wished i hadn't seen that letter ='(. made me recall things. I guess i cannot just be simple minded bruneian where you can feed me with cars and assume i have forgotten everything.


may your future be bright my dear country because... well its getting gloomy by the day. And yea..i've watched hong gil dong and the situation of old jeoseon. And not being sarcastic or anything... we seem to have move towards that kind of place. We are just too blind to see things or we blind ourselves because ...you know better why.

Bangkok in state of emergency.

On another note....

Bangkok is under state emergency.

Awu. T is still T and i love watching news. and i am a fan of outside politics. Its fun to watch egoistic and power hungry people put up a show. Anyways, i can't remember which morning it was but i watched the footage of the protest in Bangkok. It was really huge. And there was a video of Samak saying something like this "they have no right to cause such commotion in the public...i will not back down no matter what..." yes. I remembered it well because i find it selfish but don't mind me i am not politically oriented. I just find that it selfish because of humanitarian instinct. Massive protest never went well right.

And i was right. now the protest in Bangkok is deadly. So far i've read that only one was killed and many injured but it always starts with one to start a bigger bloodshed. Samak has now declared Bangkok under state of emergency and with this emergency the army commander has right to 'ban a gathering of more than five people' (again i am quoting this because i find it funny). kamu tau napa org opposition marah... ku baca ya membali votes las december. hahaha cali kan.



read here for BBC side of story. and here for video showing what happened in bangkok from CNN.

My whole point it... think twice before you plan to go to Bangkok now dear Bruneians. Even South Korea and Singapore have told their citizens not to go there for unnecessary purposes which i assume is holiday. Though... i would like to be there. aha.. thrill jua tu. Anyways, after the state emergency, foreigners working in bangkok said the situation is calm but tense.. still if you don't like to go dangerous place like Bali (pfft!! ) id say this...bangkok is still dangerous. Jangan di sangka air yang tenang tiada buaya ...no? ;)


its been a while... The last time i went there was years ago and i find it fun because you get to be scared of drunkards, fried cockroaches, durian and etc. For me, going to Thailand was as fun as going to Laos or vietnam (ahaha i failed convincing mum of bali..tapi... she was okay with the mention of Vietnam...so should our end of year plan goes wrong..we'll maybe go to vietnam yayy =D) ohh. Another fun place to go now... malaysia. because once you get out of the airport there be a lot of teksi sapu waiting for you and driving dangerously to the city. And every taxi driver has their own political story to tell and oil price rise issues to rant. the moral of this paragraph... its no use telling me how lucky i am with the 4 Fs. I'm a traveller at heart.. and interesting places intrigues me. sigh.

pictures are taken from BBC.

No i am not fine.

LOVE.

friends..remember the times i used to tell you that i don't drink coffee or tea and people go... aaaii sayang jua. some even told me that i'm missing a good part of life. sama macam mata sexy si dibah yang inda pandai makan gula2... inda ku pandai minum teh. But i have been drinking tea lately... eversince i started studying at ubd (during the orientation you would find tea and coffee being served but no mineral water.. yatah). And surprisingly... i find some tea quite nice especially the dorchester blend last time during high tea at empire haha inda ku nyasal order dorchester blend instead of paris..mcm pahit paris a.

Tapi kan..


i guess, i really can't fool my body. Nausea banar ku. brapa ari ani minum teh saja. I feel like sleeping near the toilet at this rate. bah aku kajap ja ne. I wanna download and print my language notes for tommorow's 3 hour class.

and the topic for tommorow is ... LOVE. ;) and i am not kidding. nurul adibah...imagine me learning the chapter 2: LOVE with your mata shekshi =p=p owh owh and there'll be a trip to that country (tapi mahal banget na ku sanggup). still...who knows one day i'd be strolling down the streets of that romantic city with.... =p=p alum ko jeles dibah? hahaha.

and to the people, u know who you are. its hard to swallow everything and kill the doubt especially when the cloud is still cloudy, but then again, terima kasih. =') luvs u.

outie.. aku pun kan..makil =p hari monday ku panuh banar. dri pagi sampai kul 6 ptg.