Thinking.

I know some of you said, its more than 1 hr 45 min and still no update.

Yes i am a boring person.

Infact, my mornings have been spent on my bed fighting with a flu and itches. Go figure. I admit i am boring for falling down to a flu. and now some gastric pain probably because of the food at a birthday party i attended yesterday. Or maybe the zinger burger i had before watching bedtime stories with a the families.


this afternoon, i sit below the shower, (while menahan sakit and trying not to puke) seriously thinking of putting my blogging alter ego to an end because you know... some people won't update me either. And some people have advanced in their academic world while i am still hangat hangat tahi ayam. I read that leonardo davinci was that way too but atleast he achieved something worth remembering. While at that, i am still thinking of what to do during my three months holiday next year since some people are reluctant to bring me along to their little excursion.

I mean. It must have been a nice life right when people do not know what you do in life. When you log on to msn and all we could do is tease each other but NO faking updates and the next thing i know, they've achieved i milestone away from me. Besides, some people so close to me are still in something i don't really like and trying to hide it from me because everytime that thing goes out i fall into a deep depression and i refuse to go to school, won't eat and i almost try to kill my self with a comb (this shows i am still sane and my inner self don't really want to kill myself because if i really want to die. i'd do drugs or kill my self with a knife) and people really think they know me when you never even know i have written a phrase 'watch me laugh because there will come a time when you won't see that laugh anymore' because something i am capable of keeping a secret of. and i do know i have a reputation of cannot keep a secret. besides, i am still thinking of why i am not beautiful to other people to attract them.

i am still living lingering to the past and thinking about the future that i forgot to make each day worth remembering.

So i spent the last half an hour sitting down the shower (mostly because of my stomach pain) and to end my blogging alter ego.

but i am still... thinking.


salam. My stomach hurts so bad.