I think this is the level where, a little help could reverse what might be irreversible.

I guess, when you don't turn up for a week or two, people tend to forget you. When you don't keep up your game, you are out of the league. and when you seem to be lost, they put you to blame. Is it really my choice or Is it that the meaning of friendship has changed? Amazing isn't it? How life goes... And i am not the only one who thinks so. Within a a few minutes of publishing this status on FB, people agrees.


hmm. on another note... i feel so mediocre. Still. I realise that other people know so much, they have gone so far or starting their engines to fly to greater heights and yet... i am still here. Still nothing special. Someone said, perfection is impossible, but when you aim for perfection you get excellence. I know, i know, i get that always- 'Don't think of it. you are overreacting.' But i can't help it. =( I want to be someone, who won't fade with time.I want to be someone who i can be proud of. But i can only be proud of, someone who everyone is proud of. Sigh. Let alone laying that eternal foundation, i haven't even started to look for a place to do so. In everything i do, i seem to get the feeling that i have done it terribly. Even what i say to people or my actions, i will think of it seconds after it has been done.


I guess, as time passes by, my seek for perfection seems to have gone from beyond average level to beyond healthy level. In a way its a good thing because no matter how much i have done, i still think its terrible when sometimes its not. In a way it's also a bad thing because no matter how much i have done, i still think its terrible when sometimes its not. You know what i mean? I don't blame you if you don't, because you'll only understand, if you experience it. No its not the i-have-done-badly, kind of thing. Most people would shed it off and say what's past is past though in their heart they are sad and down. it just more that that.


If its up to my choice, i would've picked a better feeling, don't you think?