AMAL.

This comment of hers made my day.

"amal Said:
on July 12, 2008 at 10:28 am

"hahahaha… dah I recieved your gifts dah
Tiqs, aku tau presentmu yang mana satu… hahahaha only you who can give me a gift like that :-p …. "


HAHAHAAHHH. Actually. I forgot to tell her which gift is from me. But heck...she knows which one. babu kami tah banar. But i guess T is a transparent person hehehehh and sbb T ani pandai bah milih gifts kan kan (inda ja =p) Thanks for knowing which one is from me =p Really made my day.

MAL SEXY KAN JUBUR OREN AH!

DON'T FORGET TO WIPE IT =p hahahahaha.

Mencuba bertahan sekuat hati.

Even the loudest music can't help what i feel now. I tried not to cry but i don't know how much i have to suck my stomach just so these tears won't fall. I am not confident in myself anymore. I don't know if i can do it...suck my stomach, stop the tears and smile. I'm sad. Why? I'll just tell you one. And the rest... i won't say.

Because saying this to them is impossible now... this is for the people who are very very close to me.you know who you are.

Do you know how sad it makes me when one of you is sad. Or how worried i will be when one of you is worried. It just breaks my heart. I know that this is most probably why you won't say anything to me but then when i ask you what is going on.. or when i say "tell me that story you have not told"...you say there is none when there is clearly something- that saddens me even more.

You all cannot hide from me you know that.

You think you can but this is T you're talking about. I can't say i know everything. Because i cannot read your heart. Hati manusia siapa yang tahu. But your actions...you yourself... you can't hide from me. Then again my instincts might have even hit the bulls eye on what is battling within your little minds and hearts. When one of you say 'orang lain pun ada jua problems' i know that.

Faham ku kalau reason kamu buat cematu spaya org inda susah hati. That won't work for me! sebab aku kenal siapa kamu. Aku tau cemana senyuman kamu kalau kamu paksakan. Aku tau cemana senyuman kamu kalau kamu sedih. Ulah kamu kalau kamu susah ati. and how sincere you're laughs would be when you're truly happy. I kenal sapa kamu. So saying that nothing is wrong or trying to hide anything from me is useless.

I want to lessen your burdens. i want comfort you when you're down. But i can't do that when you don't share. I can only do it my own way.... i have tried to do my own way..i just don't know if you noticed. And soon..... things will change. A few of these people i know...might be leaving.. but that's another story for another time. I just want these people to know... i came to knew you over the days we spent together...

I'm always here if you need me.

can you all see me?.

Even when you're far.... i'll still be here.




Always will be here. I will never go away.



Now will you tell me the story you have not told?

Meet Aimi Kobayashi. She owns the stage and the crowd. And the piano.

Warning: this video may make you feel so stupid in music.I don't really care if you're ignoring this vid like all the others...you're the one to lose)

I know you're sick of more youtube...(and i did say i'll take a break. okay maybe what i meant was taking a break from posting crap thoughts and dailies and all sorts.) THIS IS DAMN INSANE! Born in 1995, meet Aimi Kobayashi (click here to go to her wikipedia. She even has her own wikipedia!)the pianist who has already a very astonishing career at young age. From winning the the 5th International Chopin Piano Competition in ASIA to performing at Moscow international house of music- this little girl you must watch.

I feel so stupid. Not that i never realise i am a dimwit in music (soo jgn d peduli tu V4T v4t drg a)...i only listen to the ones with beautiful tunes but i never really remembered the titles and etc. kalah ku ehh. This video was taken when she was 3 or 4 years old.




This one was when she performs Chopin Impromptu In A Flat, Op. 29 with Vladimir Spivakov in Moscow at the age of 10.




Owh and if you like this... google Emily Bear (this pianist prodigy even composed her own piece at 6 or 7) and Karin Zhou. . And when i said i'm drowning my self in the best distraction... i really do mean it. Out (for real! not blogging. hiatus. hahah yea right. i need to take a break from Youtube.)

Yoo Ye Eun- 5/6 year old genius blind pianist ft Connie Talbot.

I know i said i'd take a break from blogging but this video made me feel so sentimental that i just had to blog about it. This 5 year old adopted child is blinded from birth and she plays the piano beautifully (forget the wrong notes she hit...i can't even recognise notes at 18). And get this...she only needs to listen to it once. She even sings...at arond 5.00 min she'll sing a song ..something like "you were born to be loved" seriously...beautiful.




After a year from the above vid. Feauturing Brits got talent the very young Connie Talbot. The vids got me crying. Listen to the lyrics. ='(

Drowning in the best distraction: lets have some Miyavi.//eddited

Feeling really off balance. I just realise i have that bad habit of binging on chillis and sour plums while watching to lots of videos when my sky gets a little cloudy.

Lets talk music. because music makes the best distraction when everything else fails.

Presenting : Miyavi -japanese rock star. He (or she or what ever this person gender preferences is) is, i admit, hot. yea i've gone crazy. Lots of stuffs make one crazy. I'm kidding. I really do find him hot. I am not sure if its the music he plays, or the rocker charisma he exudes... i don't judge a person by his looks. He plays good stuff dude.(and i mean hot as in hot for a rockerceleb. =p not for a man i want to date hahaha)


雅-miyavi- - 素晴らしきかな、この世界 -WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD




The current obsession. Entah napa. I have never been a fan of such genre but this song just sticks to my mind. Or i have gone insane. Either way.. real nice song.

Miyavi- freedom fighter




Miyavi- Selfish love.




The video starts with some superb instrumentals but after a minute or so you'd hear vocals too so dengar.


bah...i might be away from the blogging world probably for a day or two or a week or whatever. not feeling that well so i'm just gonna rest and drown myself in music. because i miss that world without pretences.

Cinta ini membunuh ku.

Thursday night is almost never boring. Despite having a crazy lifestyle,the student almost always introduces some great songs. Along with a list of Dygta, tangga, Meet uncle hussein and vagetos...here is one song my student introduced:





kau membuat ku berantakan
kau membuat ku tak karuan

What's playing.

its time for a proper music. (not that 'tell me' isn;t proper =p)Played and replayed several times for the past few days.

Ku cinta mu apa adanya- Once





Sampai kapan- Ari lasso.




all hail youtube for superb song search. *addicted* Ahaha both songs... are just catchy to my ears.

If so.... Nin can you stay for a while?

uits si Nina. jgn check blog time kerja bebeh =p sorry i disturbed you while you have a lot to do kemarin. hehehh

I know what you think i'm trying to do is a silly thing. esp when it won't do good for me. (hehe you did that 'ko cuba utk....?' with a hint of surprise there. jgn ko mcm2 =p) but ntah.. i guess i have changed a lot didn't i since the last time we spent our days together a lot? for better. because i want the people around me to be happy. That made me reckless. it has made us reckless. i know you know what i mean.

If everything else leaves... u stay for a while okay. Carry me through everything just like you always do.

And it has to be you...coz.. only you...i can't hide from. because you... will always tell.

T to Nina.

Teman tersayang.

Tuesday 8th July. Went to belait berlima. Heheh. Thanks to the rest yang mendangani- Buzz, Dibah and K, the real man-my night vision. HAHAH. Went to visit Zir at her apartment in Seria. The trip was quite okay inda jua mbari ngantuk la since the three of them begila d blakang while lina and i were at the front. It was quite stressing looking for directions especially when Zir gave me 3 roads namely jalan dapan, jalan tengah and jalan pantai. kan mental ku mikirkan luan bnyk jalan di baginya ku direction aa sampai menipun auntie ku wa. Auntie ku ne g....suruhnya ke KB utk msuk k jalan pantai. We stopped at OGDC for food because Dibs can't live without eating every one hour =p Guess what! tau tau apartment nya ne tu sebarang OGDC ah. capi. seriously... if i didn't ask buzz to be at front, i wouldn't have seen the sign. tau lah si tiqah and direction ne inda serasi bah.

Raided si Zir's room. I was tired actually and with the body aches i feel like sleeping so i kinda spent a while in her room with her pillow =p NYAMAAN. hhahahaha. pastu kami besayang =p...ceta2 ckit. and etc. catching up la. Oh yes i drove all the way. hehhe T is getting better at this. How long has it been? errr 2 months since being legal. =p *kambang


pokoknya. I missed Zir brabis lah. Coz u'r the only one who knows things even without telling. And and driving along the road to kb was pretty nostalgic. despite everything.... i kinda miss that road. and the people. =/ manatah saja.

Tell me. Tell me...TTTTTTTell me.

I'll post about yesterday later. (aku malas blogging bah ne bnr nya) hahaha anyhoos....TERIMA KASIH TEMAN TEMAN and the real man ;p heh. kerana mendangani aku kemarin though my mood was a wee bit off due to damn aching body and psl suma org suka duduk blakang. And sayang si Nina. Kraja jgn kan cek blog org time kraja. =p nnti g jumpa ko Bah aku ne kan sharing video yg buat aku ketawa berabis ba ne.




yang ani. esp towards the end CALI hahahahahhh kiut plang big bang nari ah.



ANI HAHAHAHH LIAT SENDIRI LAH. if you're turned on inda ku tau ahh. hahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAHA.




This is seriously the cutest thing ever in the entire TELL ME phenomena.



no offense... mcm pimp usulnya si JYP nari tell me ah HAHAH.


bah outie. krg tah ku blog g ah. dh ku rajin.

Shun bebeh.

I have to admit...my Shun Oguri bebeh is kind of skinny in Gokusen. And yes he kind of suits it. This post is just to show a certain someone that although shun is thin...he has the dada and has a very tough bod =p Nah liatlah betapa sexynya berchest ani instead of being skinny.

This pic goes first because i love this look much much.

Masa ya muda. Kurus bida.

Ani, i think, was the look he sported in Gokusen 1.

Kurus kan.

Ahahaha he really suits the role Shinichi Kudou in Detective conan. Saya cair.

I found this picture by ACCIDENT. lucky eh. =p Inda ku tau bila badannya jadi miani tapi apparently he does look skinny in binbou Danshi which is one of his latest series....never knew this is how he looks like under the clothings. okayyy lah =p HAHAHA.

THIS, ladies and gents...esp YOU si..... (aah well u know who u are), is the latest picture of him during a press of some sony erricson CF. Note the shoulder. The dada. The arms. =p Kindaaa reminds me of someone if he transform to this.=p=p

Seee....semakin sexy kannn! Semakin saya suka kan si shun bebeh ku ani.

Haizz. i wonder how he did that. Well, i do have imaging evidence of a certain someone transforming from kurus karing to..............okaylah hehehehehehe. jangan bimbang =p=p akan ku simpan neee hehehehhh. manatau nnti 5 taun akan datang tani wonder bebalik 'eh cana ya betukar jadi berchest ani ah =p' But see.. inda jua bida ne mun mcm oguri kan. Okay kan. yatah aku akan tetap memberi sokongan padu.

And i did not mention any names here except for si Shun bebeh. =p so tiada ku bersalah.

last but not least. Lub Oguri ku. Btw watch Binbou Danshi. LAWA banar. very cali and ada meaning behind it. =) Aku ada plang ne heheh *hint*

Growing up: this is for my ladies.

Note: nostalgic. I just had one of the best chats since a very long time with them. It started with a message that started like this: hi ladies..... it occured to me.. since when have we grown from just mere girls to ladies? Dr A's right. Men may come and go. Friends may come and go. But sahabat stays forever. I am not exactly sure how to explain but it sounds cool doesnt it?

2004


I met the three of them (including mizah not lina). We got together often. Zirah was still unattached .=p So was ridha. hahaha. And ofcourse the very single T. Chosen for explomaths along with Zir, A and FN. Zir, met her him and got attached. The girls get to know each other more and more. Bonds grew and we instantly became bestfriends. Lin and i took geography. Zir took economics and Ridha was the only one in class taking computer. That was the only class period we got seperated. Mizah remembered the first sentence i said to her when we first met- hi aku tiqah aku ne pendiam ne. And she said that while i was talking non stop. =p hahaha


2005


We were still lab partners in bio and physics lab (just like the year before) where Zir and i would chat, lina writing her stories and Ridha pretending to concentrate at Mr leong. We would rush to the canteen and buy our favourite, the soto. Ate in class while laughing crazily over silly matters while everyone else thought we were a very quiet (tkarang) group. Ridha is still in love with computer. Zir 'loves' Mrs Rani. and i 'love' my ninth subject- accounting. Went for tuition (or rather chatting session) at Zir's uncle. Berhari raya with auntie nya apa. And zir was afraid of cats. Ridha and i bitch about sexy Spaniards and italians and even share Spanish language books. Si mizah eksen pendiam tapi gila bnrnya. Almost two years has passed and i have no idea when we all became sisters.

2006


Ridh and Zir decided to go to Maktab Duli instead of PTEB because Zir prefer to go there and ridha wanted to take computer and only MD offers computer as a form 6 subject. Mizah had to go to MD. And ofcourse Lin and i went to PTEB. It was actually hard at first. The friends you see everyday, pull you out of the canteen crowd, sit with you in the lab...they were not there anymore. And you make new friends.



2007


We hardly see each other. Only through the net sometimes we update uorselves. And oh...Zir loves cats. And Ridha is still with her hehehh pemain bula =p And T is still very much single.



Now

Zir- currently doing her attachments with BSP, doing the petroleum technologist work thingy. I have no idea what it is but its about monitoring oil wells etc. She'll be studying for a year in UBD before going to Sydney, i hope. Ridha- MOE scholar who will be doing Software Engineering in UK. She really loves IT stuffs. Lina- doing foundations in Perth. And philosophy and ethics. wuhuu. Kan gila yo that subject. Mizah will be doing her Beng civil engineering in ITB. and me.... the one who will be doing biological science.



The 5 of us- will be farther away from each other when this long holiday ends. We will be scattered all over. And the chat with sayangku Zir, Ridha and Lina was the best ever we had in a very very long time.


Funnily, i am not sad. Because, we still laugh like we used to even when we don't see each other that often. We still serve cookies of fast food when we visit each other. We still buy each other gifts. So i guess, i am assured...no matter where we are, we still have each other. 5 years later i am sure we are going to sit chat just like today or the days before. We'll sit in one table..no matter who you'll be.. petroleum engineer ka, civil engineer ka, software engineer ka, or phsycologist...we still will be the same. That is why. AKU SAYANG KAMU.


ps- gila. ramai jua kamu ne ambil engineering. aku gnya ambil biology kah??? sayang bnr kamu kan mr leong atu. =p Zir.... saya tahu u rindu kan ku =p jgn temimpi2 aku ah d sana KB. mimpi zaim mu ja. krg inda ko tertidur. kiss kiss. (mihir hahahaha =p) Ridh...msg ja ah di mana.

Aku hanya insan biasa...yang tak kenal nota. Siapalah akuu??

Sebab kan mun ku taruh semua ani arh orang atu tagboard, panuh bah ne. That's why this post is a respond to that post. Seriously kamu....as i've said in my previous post kan...drg punya 'promo' ani kan mikin menjadi jadi. Recently, TEAM cuculnya started screaming the 'trademark' di mall. cecapi bnr ya ni a. Pikir tah tido dh. udah ku bek hati atu kan arh nya.. inda ku mau berabis g mempromo ya (since ya bnyk vid ku yatah aku mesti maniss arh nya). Pastu time ku kan curi gambar si Dibah emosi mencari lagu atu...ada tia post attu. CECAPI BANAR EH SI________ANI. padan aher aher atu...'tido lena ahh' . padan taah. grr. malas ku ingau gto kamu link nya.

Kepada rakyat brunei yang di cintai. Drg ani kan membuli aku bah....ckp si tiqah ikut p2f apa. manada si tiqah ikut p2f kamu. banar. jgn kamu salah faham. Drg ne balas dendam kan tapi berabisan bah. Inda jua adil neee. ani naah 5 lawan 1.

Sama aku inda tau mana drg dpt idea aku pandai nyanyi jazz ah. Banarnya nyanyi jazz dpn durang pun jarang...duii once in a pink moon. Macam sekali dua kali (kali). Apa suara jazz. Suara ku inda se sedap drg bah. Apa jua...siapalah aku kan. hahaha jgntah kamu pecaya tu drg aaa. Jgn tah di sokong promosi drg ah.

inda lena tidur ku.

Hancock and introducing....DIBAH ronggeng.

Kepada si KEROL yang selalunya karit btakang.... ya sangat baik pada hari itu sooo TERIMA KASIH bebeh. hahahaha. Watched Hancock. It was, in its own way, damn funny. It was sad towards the end though..bek jua inda tenangis. haha. And and Charlize lawa. I love her. Plus, burgers and coke are an awesome combination. Way better than popcorns //kirai. Kids do not follow this. The story is better than I Am Legend. bnr plang katanya siuk g wanted.

What made the day more fun was the fact that 11 of us conquered row G. Mostly the BHA gang but not everyone from BHA. If everyone went, it'd be more fun. (cubatah kmu dtg ah. jarang ne Si K lanja ne) Bca si Dibah and Si Billah and Si kerol punya blog la utk mengetahui dengan lebih lanjut. (cari sendiri blog drg arh links ku)

AND.

DIBAH KAMBANG!!!!!!!!!! DIBAH AND BILLAH AND SI KEROL CAPII (kmu dua termasuk sbb kamu ikut mem'promo' masa di escalator ah) CAYA KAMU. Aku tau ne ani si Dibah punya idea ne. Drg teriak teriak 'vote for tiqah' di mall ah. Pastu inda puas ati.....ckp basar2 g tu 'ni sitiqah masuk P2F ah' MANADA KU MASUK P2F kamu. Drg ani. they're 'promoting' me for nothing. Smpai org fikir aku ikut P2F. banar nada ku ikut. Audition pun inda. astaaa. Mikin menjadi drg buli /'promote' aku. Si dibah tu eksen tia pdahal ahh cuba liat neee

Ya bah yg iski nakan nakan lagu.. Penuh dengan konsentrasi lagi. Waduhh 'aku inda pandai nyanyi konon' Eksen bnr dibah anii. And kamu mau tau bonus nya ya ne...Si Dibah ne macam si Kerol kan- pandai menari. Mun ada body jam apa atu bah yatah mua nya ani ada neee kami bawa. Inda sah mun takde dibah. Macam menari tanpa dibah ani bagai minum sup tanpa sira. hahaha.

Yatah since aku PAHAM dibah malu malu ucing *ppttuiii* menyanyi, i didn't include her in the list last time. Lagipun ya ne rocker chick bah. Anu segala amuk, Search etc apa tu yatah ksian jua ku mun ya ku pajal msuk p2f =p That's why i've been saving another competition for her bah so that she can shake that booty. I think she is more suited for this:

Because Dib's so spectacular.

bah babes.... gelek aja deh. I know you wannnaa. her special moves kamu :Ronggeng. Wuhuuu. Dun u wanna see Dibah ronggeng??? And awu Dibah aku sayang kmu juga.=p

あ め

='(

Ame desu.

it just won't stop.

Nandesuka kono kimochi?

I still don't know. Still mixed. I can't sort out what from what.

Sedih ku ja.


Thanks for calling babe. Coz really... i was off my balance. You know how off i was since the past few days. Luvs u. Dun ever change sis.

Feeling romantic- speeding your way to my mind.

Been listening to this song- 24 hours by Hans Anuar and Putri Norizah. And this is dedicated to one who has been in my mind almost all the time now. I never saw you the way i see you now. How long has it been since i longed for you.... ermm 1 week? And when i'm just about to settle for less.. there you are..speeding your way to my mind once again. You are driving me crazy.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

wake up to the morning light

I see your face in my mind.

Its driving me crazy,oh so crazy.

I look up to the morning sky

I see your smile in my mind

Am I crazy, oh so crazy

Cos it’s like 24 hours only you in my mind

And it’s like 24 hours only you in my heart

And it is 24 hours.Tell me what is happening to me

Called you name in the middle of the night

I can’t sleep just thinkin’ about you

Now is that crazy, oh so crazy

I turn on my PC (yeah)There again your face I see

Now this is crazy, oh so crazy

Maybe I’m in love with you

I don’t know

Cos all I think is you

But one thing that’s for sure

All I know you’re in my mind24 hours….24,24 hours..

Tell me what is happening to me.

You are driving me crazy (literally =p) Sob. Hondaaaaa. Mama.. honda ah. Honda ah. Dimana2 bah ma. Argrghhh. I need to work harder and put 'honda' into her mind. =p HAHAHA. Sasak ku eeeh. Look at this middle finger honda owners *jeles*

Honda tersayang.... *obsess*

HAHAHAHA for a second there. what do you think it'd be?? =p

Kami bahan 'IMPORT'

HAHAHAHAHA!! macam kenal je org buat post ne kat brudirect.

read: Bukan Kana Reject TAPI kana IMPORT

hahahaha aku ada rasa ah aku tau sapa yg buat ne aahahahahaha. Sbb ya termasuk dlm golongan org benar2 mental hahaha.

I want to but i don't want to. I don't want to but i want to.

He told me its a waste not to give a try. She told me i have nothing to lose so why not push it a little further. I stayed until morning drafting the letter because i decide to give it till the end.

And yet i spent the day lying down in bed. Bathed at around 5pm. Stayed for an hour or so under the shower. Thinking what i really want to do. My feelings are mixed. Well mixed and battered like flour and eggs. Its a battle within a battle within another battle. Its like standing in the middle of a balance. It equal. Which ever side i walk to, some things would be at advantage and some would be at a disadvantage. Some things.... i will probably lose, either side- just like falling while being in the middle of the balance.

I can't even listen to my own heart. Beats by beats i get lost in it. Every waking moment i think- am i ready to enter a new phase? Close my eyes, i am ready to start. Close my mouth, i am not ready to walk through the door. What do i want really? Maybe i'm just afraid of new stuffs. Things will happen. Our life isn't an act where we can rewrite the script. I am just afraid.

Entah ah. I just feel that... either side of the balance...it seems that i'll gain something but something will be lost.

What is this feeling- i don't even know. Its alot of things mixed in a bowl. Is it an instinct? I don't even know. I would like to know. But it scares me to know. I just hope... whichever path i will go, its the best for me. A paths towards better life. God knows better. Amin.

I don't even know what they are anymore...

I am trying so hard not to be sensitive. Until i met three person in a room. Two trying their best to defend the system and yet through the speech i saw some flaws. One, being a relative of my dad, trying so hard to convince me to love more.

and i'm very upset about some stuffs right now and one might include you. Trying so hard to ignore somethings but it hurts more when you say to yourself that its okay...when you know that's a lie. It seems i'm the only transparent one here...when everyone is hiding something to themselves. I am so transparent that you can read me and yet never realise that i've always been there.

It just hurts so much when people make assumptions but they don't even know the truth.



Anyone of you who has a honda civic- look at this little middle finger. Everyone who has audi...look at this double middle finger. Sigh. I need a scapegoat i can hit and run. Just upset about some things...that i don't even know what those things are.

What the fuck have you been doing lately?

Caya kamu.... i went back at around 7 pm plus yesterday. Rehat rehat sandar sandar. Tau tau...i woke up at 4 in the morning. Haha lalah js sudah tu. B, K and i watched the movie K and i have been wanting to watch. B..next time we watched your movie ah- kungfu panda. I've watched it but i don't mind watching again. We bought jolibee burgers and hid it in my bag. Naah bagus kan bag ku basar atu. Man the smell was all over the theatre but wth.

There was flipping cars. Bullets through heads. Knives. Hot Mc Avoy. Sexy angie (there i'm gonna say it).

IT WAS FAKIN-TASTIC. Seriously, we were going all oooohh aaah over the violent scenes but K was a different story- he went ooohh aahh over angie. I was trying to slide down everytime he does that ggggrrr-inda-ku-tahan-mliat-angie. And and everytime there was angie, kena sigung ku nyamu olehnya. And everytime K went ooh aah over angie, kena sigung ku lagi leh B sbb ya malu. hahaha you should watch WANTED with us.

SUKA KU BANAR! Cool wa kerita nya ah. Read here for K's craziness over angie. And here for B's ratings.

It was great from the start. And the ending was awesome. It ends with..."what the fuck have you been doing lately?" hahahahahaahhh

ps- gonna reply to all your tags later. Now gotta go to MOE. kan liat apa course ku kena bagi kat UBD.