How we are./editted.

tertidur. Just woke up. i thought its sahur time. and its not. yet. I was so tired. i 'studied' a lot just now =p

HAHAHAHAHAH!! you should've seen his eyes... mcm org rajin wa skali ku toleh kan sbb dlm atiku 'gila rajin si byl ne' skali macam org high on drugs ne mata nya ah. kan tebuka pun inda. Apart from this, i studied a lot tadi =p

and i heard elaun kuar dh. i have not check. Nanti tah tunggu gaji plus elaun bnyak sikit. Kan bali camera ku wa. Mama aritu tanya wa "apakan isi nya barat banar waller ika ani" and i replied "duit" =p HAHA. mun ya barat... usin pacah jua gnya tu haa. Kapih ku ba ne wal ne. Kan kumpul duit utk blayar pun susah. Ukan nya murah ticket tani kan belarai kan. kan k ha long bay Vietnam pun... mahal. hmmm. baru ani ja ku dangar puteri gunung ledang musical kan main lagi d Istana Budaya. awu aku minat ba persembahan miani miani ani hehe. mun ngam ngam cuti PGL musical atu sanggup ku ne kali (kalau cukup). Batah plang dh ku bali cd musical atu tpi mau jua ku mlihat teater nya. Mun tak cukup sia sia pun ja aha. meliat orchestra nbt tah ja kali. orchestra........ =(. aha aku plan plang dh sebab it seems nada dangan ku ke orchestra so i might just sponsor my brother to go with me. hmm (org lain know will think of the price)

aku bru liat2 harga ke ... kan liat halong bay ku eh =p and ke siem riep liat angkor wat ahaha. batah plang dh ku hint2 arh mama and ya pass sulnya. aha mun smpai tahun dapan cukup jua ne save2 kan k halong and siem riep. bah kamu... hehe =)

btw kemarin ramai cakap aku lawa pada hari ini. Its the baju i know. especially si Sha "ko pajal" aha. Tapi sebenarnya nya rahsia kecantikan ku pada hari ini: awwu alum ku mandi tadi aaa =p hehehhh au naturale ba

shhhhh. =p

11.20 am.


I guess inda sempat now kan membuat sesuatu. Ada class at 12. esuktah ja eh. sambil2 membuang waktu i decided to gambar myself right now....aha. cuba kamu liat bisai2. Fresh usulku kan? Macam kemas aja.. ehehehh senyuman pun manis semanis nya.

Inda nampak kan aku alum mandi atu?? =p

ahaha shhh aku kan k ubd ne. (so i guess org yg ku jumpai krg inda sempat membaca ini ) btw aku mandi very late di malam so... conserve water kan g pun aku lum bepaluh. lapas mandi aher kemarin aku beraircon tnganya. =p semakin handal i membuat diri seperti sudah mandi. ahaha baik jua kawan2 ku org bio memahami ulah ku sebab aku malar k bio lecture (kalau ya masa friday or public holiday) dengan keadaan belum mandi. then again. Don't judge me. I'd bath when i smell okkay. aha. right now i am still like lastnight. seperti baru mandi =p bah out.btw m still trying to stay away from the internet. (n i failed to do so) Test and hws! in advance i want to say... awu kamuu aku alum mandi tadi tu eheeeehhh.

bah aku study.

sik nentu...

Sik nentu....

Aha. Kelmarin aku rindu kamu berabis.


someone saw me at the airport last night and he put his hands on his chest and said, "now i understand." I guess. Haha there are times when my hyperness means something and lastnight was one of those times. aku sayang kamu. aku sayang si dayat, dibah, billah, sahlan, zahar.. =p

Aritu kan aku ne hajat kan sambung hong gil dong ku wa skali ku buka dvd ku aa. SKALI APA NAH. tu lagu if ah (yg siring blog ku ani) lagu sedih a bemain.. then ada api2. then ada bunga. then ada "gil dong aa, i love you.." aha i know wth kan tapi bear in mind hong gil dong ane cerita zaman lama2 korea yatah the girl assume si gil dong ane inda tau wa apa erti i love you since its a modern word ya dpt while keraja di cina. skali nya gildong 'i love you too.' skali si yinok tanya if ya faham. and balas nya "babo,..saranghae". rupanya si gil dong ane faham aha. macam udah ujung2 hidupnya baru ya gto si yi nok ya faham. capi jua tu. Udah kan kena panahh..*spoiler* (its quite symbolic la but i understood) aku ne tebuka ending nya ba!!! ish.

Just got a green packet from someone and i am guessing that he might not be around during this raya not that we mind because... things get a lot chaotic when he's around the lambak residence. Kan lawat nenek ku eh. aha one of the neneks (yg apparently ramai) suruh beraya pat umah nya ba first day raya. 'jah come to my house ah' awu rugged yaw. nenek banar tapi speak english and drive sport car. cali ya takut mama inda faham bahasa bisdia yatah ya speak english. malas ku bnrnya kan raya arh dat side.

Bah. i overslept bah ne. i kinda slept late. And there something i'm supposed to do today. Raya is near and honestly, i'm not feeling it. I think i'll go get this something done eh and start studying lagi.

ps- kamu pajaaal. . jgn ngumpat aku saja anee. aku tau plang tu kamu atu. inda pa laa sempena raya kan dakat ku maafin kamu.=p


biartia lu...

And I will REALLY try not to go online. Test test!! And as usual..before that.. song::

You'll know which if you've been following.

If i were to go
If i were to get close to you
What would you think?
I don’t have the courage.

If you were to go,If you were to leave.
I don’t know how to send you away
It keeps hanging on my mind

I know i am a fool and can only watch you from afar
Your heart may look away from me…
And so we could even become strangers

Just like a fool i can’t even say that i love you
because …We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad.

If you were to come
To come near me.What would i do ?
I really don’t know Because im like a fool.
Even though i know looking is all i can do
Your heart may look away from me
And so we could even become strangers

Just like a fool i can’t even say that i love you because….
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad

Because i’m like a fool
Even though i can’t say i love you
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad.

aha. Hong gil dong OST if. 3 it think i'm on the 7th or 6th dics and there's 9 dvd altogether. Sigh. Tak sanggup ku liat for now. The song is just so... bah kan aku kan buat card utk someone. And pala ku skit. Its the fever i guess.lalala.

Crazy Crazy Fast Life.

I will try not to go online until i think i've got myself on track.

its okay. Its okay like this i guess.i has got to be.

and when the two person i turn to when the feelings gets a little chaotic is far far away- one rajin buat hw in Da lian and sorang tiada kabar dari Nottingham, i need to learn how to pick myself up. Spend less time with the internet. Yes today we have class even when its public holiday. We have maths test (on a topic i don't really understand) again saturday. Doakan ku pass g ah. I passed last time. Next saturday just before raya, another important biology test. After raya are the very very important test(S). Then goes the presentation(s) and examinations before long hol. And for now i think i'm far behind in language, Biology, maths, Geography and computer programming (and thats juat about everything). Not to mention the vocal practices for a possible choir event. i was thinking of quitting but then.... sayang jua a. I've embarassed myself twice when i sang (since aku inda pandai nyanyi kan). Byl and i volunteered for the convocation event and kami pajal saja tia drg yang lain. The convo will be around October i guess. Banyak jua kan d buat aa.

and i need to start reading on something i am interested in. NO. its not Mandarin. Mandarin is just too difficult for me =p i am counting on a few 'relevant' words to learn from people and Dayangku isn't exactly being a great help instead she gave words which are 'irrelevant' and tak mungkin ada gunernye haha i need to start reading some biology because i am absolutely far behind. and maybe some additional bio subjects because i find Ferns interesting.

And i did mention that i joined the BNS right? Its Brunei Nature Society and i also joined the BioCop (which i am not exactly sure what it stands for i think its.. biodiversity conservation programme and according to them its Brunei's one and only conservation body). There were a few outings on the list starting with rat trapping sat Pasar Gadong(i don't know when but i'll take some pictures for you all yang jauh di sana untuk melihat si T tangani kemihiran nya)

i list out all this is not to make you all jealous of what's happening here because i am jealous of what's happening there. And this is a reminder for me of what i have to do.

its a crazy crazy fast life. and i miss you a lot. so in this fragile times i need to stay away i guess. run like i always do,

Bah. jangan heran kalau rambutku jadi blonde. Kalau kan jadi mad biologist ane jangan alang2. Sampai jadi blonde sampai..tenaik pebaik rambut a. haha. btw cuba kamu google alfred wallace and Charles darwin. One common thing about them is the beard. Macam Prof mohd. Hahaha. Barangkali beard catu tu tanda biologist kali. Bah Byl. Husrin. apa lagi. =p

Inda ku rindu.

Venue: Fass- Vocal class-competition.

Dan ketika lagu di mainkan,
Terasa diri ini kesunyian,
sayu meresap keseluruh badan
airmata bertitikan bagaikan hujan.

Dan ketika ku di suruh berlagu,
Ku sedar tiada lagi suara mu,
Yang selalu mengiringi ku,
Aku rindu...

Dan ketika mereka menyanyikan,
Apa yang kau selalu lagukan,
Tak seindah sepertimana kau mengalun kan.
Lagu itu tak sempurna tanpa mu teman.

Wo Xiang Nian Ni Men. Ni men. Ni men. Ni.

i hear you singing in their songs.

........

ps- aku beli mic dah~ ehe. kuar mseh suara ku walau inda clear =p ehe. kemarin giliran si dalian liaoning kan menaiyaa. ceeeh. kali ani giliran with love from tanah jambu ne. Dengar tia suara yg kamu rindui.=p=p aku nada rinduu =p aha. and kepada yg lain yg rasa2 nya rindu aku =p msn aku for the ID.

I know i am a fool...

if.

manyageh niga gandamyeon

niga ddeonagandamyeon

neol eoddeogeh bonaeyahalji

jaggoo geobi naneun geol

naega babo gataseo

barabolsu bakkeman eobtneungeon amado

wemyeon haljidomoreul ni maeumgwa

ddo keuraeseo deo mareojil saiga dwelggabwa

...

the drama is becoming more and more sad.

Qam furen.

Walaupun suara ku yg serak2 inda kedengaran (awu... my temperature rising since yesterday. Hence suara oso makin seksi tpi org nda paham pikirnya aku nangis saja tplang. Damam ku bah eh), aku b skype dengan seseorang yang ku rindui tadi. Btw ada ku ckp aku demam kan. Yatah merah atu. cecapi. hehe.

qam furen. =p

Wo ai ni. Please stop bullying me. You are so meanie. I said i don't want to play no more game anymore lo. U dun believe me a. Wa lau eh. ahaahaha. (mandarin tia krg kuar dialect lain hahahah) Seriously sayangku, i will (try) not... because it doesn't seem to be a right thing to... You know me. Aha i cannot forgive myself if i did a selfish thing. So jgn lagi ada dong kata2 seperti itu.

Kan kan ko inda ajar aku sehari sepatah kata kuar dilect apa ka tu. Ajar ku yg relevant ba eh. RELEVANT. =p Besides...yg ko ajar aku a.. . tak der gune nyer pun. haha capi ko a. esuk ku bali microphone. sediakan segala perkataan yg relevant a.

sesungguhnya aku merindui mu lebih dri pada kau merindui ai ren mu a. hahahaha.

eh eh i learnt a new sentence just for you.... =p=p you le ai ren le ma ? hahahaha lurus kah inda tu. cuba ko ckp arh lelaki cute mu a. mcm gila.. erotic tu ah hahahaha.

ni e ma?



ahahahaaha. cakap tia pat si cute a. hahahahaha.

Hj Muiz.//editted

Blayar tah kmu suma ehh. panuh jua post ku nee. nanti 5 in one ne org blayar ah.

Selamat belayar Hj Muiz, teman Bio ku yg inda g meneruskan ambil bio haha. Take care a sana. Sejuk tu edinburgh. I wanted to go to scotland banarnya tapi apa leh buat aha. Be a good geologist okay. rajin rajin belajar! Jgn di persiakan air mata si Pajrini and si Daia =p hahahaha


PAJRINI NANGAIII. WUHUUU. SI DAIAAA JUAAA. =p=p


aku maintain ja. aha.


editted// awu a. panya.. awu aku pernah tinggal d kapok. kenangan ku d Kapok apa nah... kucing kesayangan ku ilang. nangai jua eh. kiut kali a ucing ah. haha kalau ingat kapok tu ingat ku kan ucing tu. haha. (lain) sejak ucing ku ilang inda ku g sanggup wa melihara ucing. and To dibah. repeat after me "sahaja aku berpuasa esok hari bagi menunaikan puasa bulan ramadhan pd tahun ini kerana Allah taala" =p jgn gatal ani dibah. sabarr ahaha. eh tdi tu mata ku masuk paluh ba. ahaha. mana inda batah membersih =p haha.

Ridha.

Early this year, lina left. The three of us were there to send her -Nina, Ridha and i.
Then, Nina left 11 sept, and the two of us were there to send her- Ridha and i.
Today.. Ridha left, and there i was to send her. And now.. no i will not cry.

Keep that green letter yea. I made it myself just for you. You're my sister, i know you're like me in many ways. I know... more than anyone.. that you'll be sad even if you said you're not. Take care when you're there. We will not be around each other anymore during your birthday which is a day before mine. I'll miss how we bump into each other masa bali our birthday gifts. I'm so sure you'll be a great software engineer. Loves you. Loves the both of you. Suruh Nina contact aku a. Mcm i haven't heard any news from her since she left for Notts last week. I hope you'll settle down soon.


Ridha wadiah. My sister and always will be.

There are certain things i don't want to talk about, but people keep talking. There are certain things i don't want to listen, but people keep on mentioning. There are certain things i don't want to think about.. but people keep reminding.

Just for now stop looking into my eyes and say all the things that you say. Everything is fine. I am fine. Why would i not be.

just stop all your assumptions. Others might get hurt. I can't sleep if i think i've hurt someone.

i am fine. That everything are just nothing. Clearing up this mess. I know i shouldn't have... the game doesn't belong to me.



i am sorry.

Scientist are dangerous people.

Chatted with someone. Everything will be fine right? Maybe it'll be okay eventually. And NINA. Have you reached there safely? Contact me.

Since my goal now is to belajar sungguh2.. aha saya serious ne..i present you.. one of the greatest experiments yet to be done. Its a lot of physics. And no i am a biologist not a phycist but still it is understandable that LHC (large hadron collider) is a machine that accelerates particles at very high velocity. bla bla. I do understood what it is about however i am not interested in that. What i am interested is that some scientists argued that if this experiment goes wrong, it could create a black hole on earth that could swallow the earth. They argued that the LHC might be the start of the end of the world. Well a phycist said that if anything goes wrong, it will heat the earth up until the earth explodes. Bear in mind this is a huge experinment.

"The LHC was built by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN), and lies underneath the Franco-Swiss border between the Jura Mountains and the Alps near Geneva, Switzerland. It is funded by and built in collaboration with over eight thousand physicists from over eighty-five countries as well as hundreds of universities and laboratories"

The exoeriment was supposed to be done last week. I think. But it has been moved. Haha. A friend told about this. Her chemistry lecturer told her. For me.. Allah maha kuasa. Only He knows when the end of the world will be but yet it makes you think, that this experiment, colliding particles bla bla could still bring danger. Would you want your life to be risked by something that you have no say on? Just incase.. I love you all. =) aha.

Watch here. here and here.

I just knew that the next maths test will be THIS saturday. And alhamdulilah. I passed the last one. Lucky number 6.

Masih.

//if
I recieved a msg from a number yang ujung nya -136. tdi ptg. Banarnya i tot it was someone else msg panya.. well you know who. Awu pandai udah ya msg aku. bwwoh.
monday goes on like any other day. uni life sure is cruel isnt it. you have to go on even when there is a huge hole in your life. a few days ago i signed up for BNS and BioCop. and i changed my mind about something. I might be going on that rat trapping at gadong market activity. You know... biologist do crazy stuff. I think it'll be best to learn how to be mad from the seniors.

. btw really glad to know you're safe in uni already.

next best buddy.. esok. am i ready? No never am. never will be.

12mid night. aha. just like when i did that pink purple letter... i'm making another parting gift (which isn't the same but still all are meant for you all NOT to forget me) for another buddy. It makes me think. Maybe i should join that scrap book club. Not to forget si mul. Awu you get one too. hehe.

.

If....

.

For the one who can see the invisible.

14/09/08

='(

Sorry aku inda tahan. Maybe i should tell you that

i didn't want to exercise during the last days in fz instead i 'counted till 40' because i knew.. i couldn't count anymore. Thank you for not telling me your departure date until so late.. because i will count days. I didn't want to appear online since i started ubd... because i don't want to spend so much time talking to you anymore.. I didn't want to sing last friday...because, you sing with me always. I want to be angry at you during the last days because... you're the only one wh0 can make me really mad.

And i thought all those will make it easier to see you off. But its not..you know better that its not. so sorry aku inda tahan. And kau capi. Ko yang nangis dulu a. cana jua ku inda nangis.

thank you for the gift. kambang. karang nangis saja ku di sana. Kurus ku nee!! sebab exercise sambil nangis everytime liat gift mu.


Sorry for my wrong doings especially sebab aku slalu marah and buat ko marah. Thank you for.. everything. And ko hati karas..inda sedih?? Bull shit Khairul Nuar firdaus. I can see you when you're sad. just like you were when this picture was taken. Luar senyum. dalam sapa tau =p 'aku-tau-kek-untuk-aku'konon. i can see the invisible kali a.

the rest is in that pink purple letter.

I will wait for my surprise.

If...

siuk ceritanya. cali. sedih. romantis pun ada. I want my own hong gil dong if someone so sweet like him exist.

Diam.//editted.

Diam seribu bahasa.
Tawa berjuta makna.


To someone on lastnight. (you know who you are)

No, its not it. Its just something else.


you can see the visible, but can you see the invisible?
i w m h v.
eh eh. =p sorry eh. dude. i never imagined that what i told you before going home will make you sleepless. hehee. kuat bersedih panya ko ne.

My NINA.

11/9/08


The only one who can read my heart, my sastera and me, even when i never said anything, has left. So now. no one here will actually be able to read everything i keep inside. Now, who should i go to when i'm having a hard time? =(

Attended her function plus jemaah at her house. It was the night i'd never forget. It was our last night together..until next time that is. Plus, something (sad) happened that night. hmm. besides, i have not been around your family in ages. i am still worried. I hope everything will go fine.


Just so you know, you'll always be the darling out of my darlings, because... you know too much of me =p=p


Good luck. Rajin rajin belajar. Jangan kelaie saja dgn yang d Liverpool. jangan kan teingat kan kucing mu saja. Ingat kan si Tiqah saja ah. remember me always. And jangan lupa email aku slalu. Antar ku poskad eh =p btw thanks for the keychain. and and jangan pernah berubah. ;)

Sayang.

ps- BUAT BLOG EH. update kami baa dengan keadaan mu sana.

='(

hidup.

i m...


but then... running running and continue running.

i wonder how far i can go.