I am so pathetic.

Someone said that its obvious i compare myself with people in ________. That is not entirely true. Most of the time i get jealous looking at people's pictures- those at the seasonal countries or countries where language is a barrier. Because i understand, only when you drown someone, he or she will be able start an effort in trying to float. Hmm, now.. some of my friends are in German too? Once upon a time, we were all from one school. Now, they all study in different countries.


I know its a big thing for a short girl like me to do but i can't stop being envious of everyone around the world. Everytime it happens, i ask myself, what have i done or what have i achieved, to be more than them? Because being 'more' is the only thing that will soothe me.


And everytime.... i failed to get any answer from myself.


Then, they start to experience new cultures, meet friends of different colours, see places we only could dream of seeing, learn many new things, represent the country and evolve to become somewhat something the nation can be proud of. We become so distant, i can only hide away my little pathetic face now- the face that has not really achieve anything much that a country or even the university can be proud of. i ask myself, will i have the chance of doing the same?

And everytime, i fail to get an answer.

I guess. Just wish me marks and hope i pass everything this semester with good grades. Amin. And before that, i need to stop being lazy. Amin. (remind me not to spend so much time on internet or the television or mengupi and coffee bean.) I like my core and my supporting course and my course mates are awesome-ly helpful. I guess, that is all that matters, for now.

~~~

i've not gone that far and you're already out of sight