Why do we say its a battle? its only an exam,

if we could party all night, and sleep all day and throw all my problems away, my life would be easy easy


But thats not the case though lol. One day to exam and my radio is blasting with club songs. Not to mention how we made SHBIE room into a dance floor at midnight just to release the stress. I feel so un-confident (more that it used to be). Perhaps its because i did quite so so for my course work. and its just so difficult to remember all the facts especially tropical forest course. or maybe because i'm already in my third year and it comprises of a lot of percentage. Hope i can make this work, though i am really feeling not ready

Pray for me.


Ihdinassiratal mustaqim.

"Welcome to our community tiger", says the proboscis

How was 5th semester? Busy! Busy doing reports, researching about conservation on the internet, going to the jungle and various places in Brunei, Studying mandarin (which is difficult this sem and i think it would take a miracle to get an A) and trying to pull myself together during these tough times. this is seriously a terrible semester for me. I've been lazying and things are just so much harder. Also doing this:

Don't underestimate the mangrove soil. There were some points along the mud where we sank until knee length and had to cling to mangrove roots to save ourselves. But it was all exciting. And look at how majestic those roots are.

Thank God for them who always manage to make me laugh even in stressful times, making jokes out of EVERYTHING and saying things which are always nonsense but in fact it eases the stress a lot.

I agree what rambo said, we've been lost contact with the others recently. and thank god for that. Usually, we would go out and hang out till late night at a certain cafe or just chill. Meet maths people, the chems, the physics the CS people and chat about nonsense stuff.But lately we've been sticking around each other a lot and i guess other people sometimes thinks what we didn't want to bring them along. Its not that. Its just that we're currently in the same situation doing reports and so we depend on each other so much.

Why i say thank god we lost contact for a bit is because, if we do, i don't think we'll manage to get through this semester full of field works, presentations and reports. But i do enjoy the field trips, i must say.

and did you know that panthera tigris is endangered in the IUCN list? (year assesed: 2010) Yes tiger is now endangered like panda, orang utan and our Proboscis monkey.What makes people think that we can take the habitat of animals easily?

Janganlah kamu membuat kerusakan di muka bumi sesudah Allah memperbaikinya (7:85)

:(( editted

Won't blog as much maybe. Its been a bad semester for me. Seriously. I missed a few deadlines, a few test and now presentation. Sigh :(

really feeling upset. So i need to get back on my feet. or atleast try to.

Furthermore, its really upsetting how people would say how i look like a mom or so. or when they say "oh you look so pretty today. slalunya si ________ lagi lawa" I mean i know i am not pretty. I know my body size is not as what every men dream of. I am getting older too everyday. I am overall NOT your dream girl. I GET IT. But atleast i am still a girl and you have to think that it does hurt my feelings a lot to hear that kind of thing.


Just hope that i can get back on my feet, try to pretend to ignore these hurtful words and pretend to smile.

salam.

Be a fan of Unity.

I didn't take a lot of photos this time. this is Special Olympics Asia Pacific Bocce Competition 2010. (the third one in Brunei). It has ended and the next game would probably be sometime next 2/3 yrs. I was a volunteer and an official for the games along with a lot of us too who dedicated our time :) What is special individuals? They are individuals who looked like a normal person but are intellectually disabled or challenged. They may look like a normal person having no disability and you won't know that they are special until they talk to you or asked you questions. And although they are intellectually challenged, their physical ability is sometimes astonishing. People often distinguish them as a separate community.

DON'T. They do not wish to be born like that and they want to be a part of our community. But if you keep on saying "so can they do it? they are.. you know..", how can we unite? Stop saying the word "retard". It a very discriminatory and hurtful word. I know a few friends who stopped saying the R word but turned to like a "special olympics" peson or "special" person when they are mocking someone else.

Its just the same. Stop it. Be a fan of unity.

Disabilities are yet another manifestation of global diversity. Let us always be committed to the fundamental principles of dignity and equality for all human beings. Kofi A. Annan, Secretary-General, United Nations

I do not regret.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-Mark Twain

I was upset that i missed the officials test but in the end they made me linesmen, flagsmen and eventually i became a referee for a few games in Special Olympics Asia Pacific Bocce competition. Though these 3 days of being a court official was tiring and my work that is piling up were not done yet, but i stand by the line above. i do not regret. I met these special athletes from different 4 countries and learnt a lot about them. Most importantly i felt happy when around them. Because they dont have no jealousy no bad intentions. Even when they lost the game, they still smile and raise their hands like a winner.


They are precious :) and it feels happy to work in Special olympics. Hope that there'll be a next time for me in SO, insyaAllah.

:(

Very very upset today though volunteering for health screening in the morning was indeed fun. I missed 2 important things this week but sigh. nvm. trying to tell myself this over and over again

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jad (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui"(Al-Baqarah : 216)

Special olympic starts

Today was packed. We had training for SOAPBC (special olympics asia pacific bocce competition) health screening and we get a tshirt this time too! I was assigned to fit feet. menyukat kaki athletes. Then at night, i had my shift for accomodation committee volunteering at Games village. almost all the special athletes have arrived already and are staying at games village. We had to run around and did a few errands under Ka Tini, the accommodation committee. But despite running up and down the stairs, the experience is indeed valuable. I met Nyssa and Martha both New Zealand special athletes. Perhaps, some of you might know that we call people with some degree of intellectual disability as special. But don't be mistaken, indeed they are intellectually slow, but their physical ability sometimes may surpass ours.

What made my day was when Nyssa said "oh look at those big ants. (burung ujan)" and she started screaming because she was afraid of it. and she started talking about these big gecko in her room which might be female with lots of eggs and she was afraid that the eggs burst and give out many little geckos. My imagination went wild and all when she said that and she shouted "OH NO look at that BIG GECKO. oh my god. they're everywhere. hanging in the ceiling"

and i looked at it- it was a house lizard! pikir ku kah gecko berijap mana. haha cali lah, it was fun to chat with them. and she even gossiped with me about an annoying delegate (not the athletes but the coaches) who demanded so many things. ;p


Full week this week and i am tired but all is worth it and the experience you can't get anywhere. Ss mark twain said,

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-Mark Twain

Future

Next week would be a busy week. Alhamdulillah we don't have plant eco class on 28th Sept so i could attend the special olympics Bocce officiating course, which is free as i had signed up for volunteering as a linesmen for the upcoming Special olympic Asia pacific bocce competition (SOAPBC). Next week will be SO week and my schedule would be:

28th SOAPBC training at CPSS

29th morning SOAPBC training and SOBD at berakas hall and afternoonhealth screening training at ripas sport complex

30th Volunteer for health screening SOAPBC at Ripas sport complex

1st volunteer as linesmen for SOAPBC games and probably night time too

3rd Volunteer as linesmen for SOAPBC games morning and Pusat ehsan charity bazaar afternoon



Interesting yes? I want to be more involved in SO haha maybe one step at a time :)


I have been thinking lately about what i am going to do in the future. a best friend of mine is a bsp scholar, another got an unconditional offer from Brunei insurance agency. and me? hmm my future is still hanging.but i think i kind of made up my mind about things i want to do in the future. I did told a few that i want to do marine as my final project but mangroves seemed interesting as well so its between magroves and marine. But hmm, i am interested in aquaculture and how it can be used as diversification of Brunei's economy.


So there you go. Don't ask me what i want to do anymore. i made up my mind. as of now that is. unless people came up to me with other interesting things haha


Ps- we should really stop saying the word "retard" its quite offensive to those who are intelectually disabled.


Salam.

This deserves a post of its own.

Dr Edwards: What is a species and why is it difficult to define?

A species is the only level in the heirarchy that can be defined. Its not something that humans create and so it has a little reality to it. Genus, Family class and the level below it is not real and depends on taxonomist. Why is it difficult to define? Because species are changing while we are looking at it. It is not static but evolves with time. Something that is a species now may be another species in the future. The other problem is, there are a lot of variation in a species.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

And we spent one whole hour JUST to define a species. HAHAHA. This is one of what i study fyi. Interesting yes?

2/3 more days to eid.

I intended to do many things this ramadhan : Post a mail to Buzz in China and Kak deena in Yala, South Thailand and more. But work caught me. I don't usually look forward to eid at the end of fasting month. But i do this year because i bought heels. =p Furthermore, my next braces appointment is due during the first eid week and now its hurting again. I can't wait till they close the gaps on my teeth. Tutoring form 5 biology has been splendid but the timetable during ramadhan is quite inconvenient.

Two of my friends who went to Pattani South Thai's article was out in the previous weeks. Read Dean's story about his one month volunteering experience and Azimah's too. Apparently they travelled to krabi and various places while being there. Since each of the 16 of us were placed in different schools in South Thai, we had different experiences. and theirs was probably more interesting than my experience since they stayed for full one month.

And its week 6! we're almost half way done through this semester. lalala. and its 10 weeks closer to vacation in December. Still can't decide to join my family throughout their 2 weeks road trip next December, or join my family for a week and then catch up with my friends backpacking in Northern Thailand for another week. Hmm. Haha i haven't gone through any exams yet and here i am thinking about holiday. Atleast its something to look forward to while studying. Travel photos is in my other picture blog. Why do i have 2 blogs? Apparently blogger is convenient to post wordy blogs but tumblr gives an amazing resolution to photos.

atiqahrad.tumblr.com

September activities: EID! Open houses. food and cakes. Special Olympics Brunei volunteering.


2/3 more days to eid. Are you ready to leave ramadhan?

Hear your call.

Just a post to share with you all. You probably know about Pakistan flood disaster. Yes, this is like many others- Katrina, Tsunami, Haiti, China. But i think, the only difference is, its Pakistan, its Ramadhan and most if the victims are celebrating ramadhan in misery. We are truly blessed to celebrate our ramadhan with families and friends and in a very comfortable condition while they are being tested with so many challenges. Now what comes after the flooding? Flood does destroy many things, homes, animals, habitats and etc but after that then what? You have to understand that when a large body of water is still, waterborne disease might spread. Truly there are food shortages and personally i think that would be overcome with the coming of aid from all over the world but what matters the most is the effectiveness of distribution. Regardless of the amount of money donated, if its not distributed properly it would be useless.

Kind of amazing how songs like we are the world for Haiti gets big publicity and this doesn't. Listen to the song by Sami Yusuf- Hear your call.



Taken from his website

Pakistan would face a second wave of deaths from water borne diseases and food shortages unless more aid arrives soon. Please donate by purchasing Sami's latest single 'Hear Your Call' where proceeds will help Save the Children's relief efforts in Pakistan.

Go here to contribute to this cause


Hope Allah keeps their heart strong. And hope all the little "hope" poured by people from all over the world reach the intended destination.

Strong when we're together.

I don't blog about hunger regularly but i kind of feel sad this time knowing that Pakistan is in need for help.Its a muslim country and therefore they do celebrate ramadhan- but this year for them wouldn't be unlike any ramadhan. Its kind of a reminder for muslim to be patient regardless of what trouble comes ahead. Its also a reminder for us Bruneians that Allah has blessed us Bruneians so much just by living in our country though we tend to neglect that fact and keep on spending too much.

What do you do in the afternoon? You went to the stadium or any other gerai ramadhan and buy lots of food? or do you eat out? Either one you chose, there are others who aren't like us. They are stuck in cycle of poverty and lived in hunger. And such hunger can be made worst with natural disasters. After all wars, arguments on the political table, disaster is also a reminder from God almighty that HUMAN is strong when we're together.

Afshan, a 9-day-old baby girl born at a clinic supported by Save the Children in Pakistan's Swat Valley. The baby has an umbilical cord infection and is also suffering from insect bites, the lack of clean water and unhygienic conditions have exasperated both problems.

© Jason Tanner

Donate to WFP

or Brunei Pakistan Humanitarian fund.

(and i feel so weak as blogging and tweeting is as much as i could do to help) Salam.

Unite.

Spend (on charity), O son of Adam, and I shall spend on you. (Hadith Qudsi)

We Bruneians seem to be very busy about Zek to even discuss about such matter such as pakistan flood. While we are enjoying our food and various sungkai dishes, some of our fellow muslims in Pakistan are not as privilage as we are this ramadhan. Even if we aren't of the same race or religion- we all are still human. So even if its a little- lets help our fellow human.


Happy Ramadhan All.

Out of my comfort zone.

My article about my South Thailand community work trip went out last monday. And with all the comments i received, i am actually pleased that the article (though very informal as it was written) was accepted by readers. Even if its just a tiny population out of the whole Brunei and i may not have made news as the prince of the earth (Zek) had, but i am glad that i have atleast made an impact in someone's perspective by sharing my story and my thoughts.

A week in Yala, knowledge of a lifetime by myself.

I should make this my goal- inspire atleast someone in a month. That way, life won't be wasted wouldn't it? Hmm just too bad i am not made a leader. I'd like to think my self as that. I am made a traveller- born to wander, meet people, see places, to forget and be forgotten and play around. I am not one to commit myself entirely to a set of population or one matter just as many leader are doing. Take for instance Iswandy. His dedication to BDAC and youths- i salute but i will not follow.

I do not want to follow in any footsteps- i want to make my own. Maybe in a way less-inspiring or committed than most others but atleast i know that i have lived my life happily. Week 3 is ending and i hope i can achieve my goal this semester and have a great travel at the end of it. =D And i hope i can atleast help one of my student get a B in his olevels and the 4 others a passing mark. Trying really really hard to make biology an easy subject.

Salam.

A new sun.

In response to Linji's blogpost which you can find here Here is a summary of my semester holiday:

Went to Singapore for 2 days and KL for 2 days, backpacking with Fikriyah and met Aloysius and a new friend in KL.

My grandfather passed away five days after my Singapore/KL trip and 5 days before my next community work trip. May God bless his soul. Prepared english material and other stuff for Thailand community work. Went to Yala, Southern Thailand, through Kedah fearing that i would experience bombings there but i didn't and we all went home safely Alhamdulillah.

Taught in Tamvittaya Multini school, the largest sekolah pondok in Southern Thailand. I met kind people and gained valuable knowledge. Plus: i've been to south Thailand myself- the region being portrayed by media as a dangerous conflicted area. Then, i took a bus from Hatyai to KL alone and met Kak Sofia along the way who brought me to her house (because its dangerous for a girl to be alone at 4am in KL)

Took airasia to Jakarta and met the BJBJ gang. Went to BALI for an awesome holiday. Saw wild dolphins at lovina beach! I have videos of this but i guess i'll post it later. Shopping at Bandung and went to historical Jogjakarta by economy class train. Spent the last few days in Jakarta- met agnes monica!

learnt surfing =D

At paris van java, Bandung

Watching marcell and glenn and FRAU live in a Charity concert in Jogja!

Met Rya- my childhood friend whom i have not met in 10 years!

Went back home and start doing Thailand report and journal. Went to KK with 5 biosci friends!

Otw to manukan

Back home finished report and a 10,100++ fucking words journal. (i impress myself sometimes) 4 kittens almost got blind due to feline chlamydiosis- eye infection. Brought kittens twice a day to the vet for eye drops praying they wouldn't go completely blind. School. Fewh. Start school. Kittens recovering. But another cat got sick- Feline viral tracheitis. I officially hate those little things called virus.




May Semester 5 be an awesome one. And i too have booked a ticket for more travel this end of year. Travelling is still what i am made of. .Salam

Aku mau cuti lagi and gigiku sakit

Hi. I am back from KK and i need to finish my report/Journal about Thailand community work and and and i will TRY to post pictures of my travels on facebook if i;m not too lazy.

AND my jaw and teeth feels sangal. I don't know why maybe its because of the new arrangement of teeth or that my teeth move too much that i have gaps! =/

Look! There's the gap which i previously do not have. If the gap is between the incisors i won't mind, atleast i'd still look like madonna. BUT i don't. can't wait for the next appointment (next week) pasal sangal jaw ku. It feels like its about to fall off if i open my mouth to big.

And it looks like there's going to be a comback for SPECIAL OLYMPICS BRUNEI. talk soon after he replies or the event is confirmed bla bla. tho its at the end of september.

look who we bumped into at senayan city.

Oh yeah. did i mention we took pictures with AGNES MONICA at senayan city? We were mall-ing when she went to the ladies room. Ada orang kesanggupan nunggu dapan jamban and so tarus mengambil gambar with her after she went out of the ladies.

Yeah i cropped the others out of the picture =p

Assalamualaikum

...and that's the common 'hello' for you in Southern Thailand.

For a friend who can't access Facebook in the country she's in. Haha. The quality isn't as good and the photos i've uploaded aren't everything i have so maybe some might be uploaded into my tumblr atiqahrad.tumblr.com (apparently tumblr makes a good photoblog)

Can't say much about my volunteer work in the polictically unstable region of Yala, South Thai. I went back very early from that place for another trip to Indonesia. We went to Songkhla province from kedah or Bukit Kayu Hitam immigration post. unexpected things happened on the way to Kl and Kedah for example our 2 hour flight to KL turns to a 5 hour trip as the plane had to detour due to bad weather. Dugaan kali. Anyway, i was in a group that goes to Yala province, while the others went to Pattani.

Bukit Kayu Hitam

Gate to Kedah Sultan's palace.

First lunch we had in South Thai (and more in the following days there)





Pattani Central Mosque at night.


I was placed in Tamvittaya multini school, apprently the largest school in Southern Thailand. In the morning, they study religious subjects including Arabic and malay language. And in the afternoon they learn what they call "academic" subjects such as English, Thai language, sciences, arts subjects. One aspect i love about that place is that they practice the ukhwah environment. I just knew these students and the next day they greet me even when i'm in the streets.







View from our apartment in the Yala Islamic university hostel.



Awesome friends!

The day before my flight to Indonesia, i took a bus from Hatyai. While there, we were brought to places in Songkhla province: the samila beach and Tang Kuan Hill. The mermaid statue at the Samila beach holds a legend. Legend says that there was once a guy who fell in love with a mermaid and left her. The mermaid sat on the rock at the beach and cried "samila" which means "husband go" until she died. Hence, the name.






The famous mermaid statue.



View from Tang Kuan Hill.



Royal pavilion


The legend of Tang Kuan Hill goes like this: There was once a cat, mouse and dog travelling on a chinese ship and they try to steal a crystal. While swimming to the shore, the cat and the mouse drowned with the crystal and became two islands and sandy beaches. While the dog reached the shore and died to become Tang Kuan Hill. impossible story. But that's why they call it a legend.




Hatyai.

In Hatyai, i met an amazing family from pattani which took me to their care.I arrived at 4am in KL and that is a dangerous hour for a girl to be alone. They brought me to their daughter's rent house in Cyberjaya and took care of me until i went to kl central by train.

There were a few difficulties i encountered during the whole trip such as the strong islamic culture and not going out at night but hmm, i met kind people and they have helped me go through those times. Southern Thailand, despite what the media says, has a lot of kind people and i was treated very very well there. It makes you forget the instability that media is trying to promote. Islam has indeed brought harmony to the community in south thailand.


Maybe someday i'll go back to that place and learn to be a harmonious person. Now, i don't tihink i'm ready yet. Will blog about Indonesia trip to Bali, Bandung, Jogja and jakarta some other time.

Espana

I don't actually intend to put this in a blog but i am so happy right now.

Spain is in the finals finally! Octopus or not, i support spain all the way. Haha well i actually had pictures of Spain-German UEFA finals in my old blog but haha since i deleted that blog so.. This FIFA Spain-German semi final is also a goog game though. Anyways, of the players, i support Casillas the most. haha i don't know why but its been that way since skulah ugama dulu masa sanggup meliat japan/korea world cup and skip class. you've got to admit it, he's been building up quite a reputation. HAHA and my brother is annoyed with casillas haha because he supports german.


In summary, aku sangat gembira. Win or lose in the final, i don't care. Asal masuk final. Asal aku masih liat casillas main Okay. Salam

Travelling doesn't mean you have to be rich

Yes i am back from an amazing trip in Indonesia which actually starts with southern Thailand.

You know the word travelling is always associated with the following sentence "kaya ko ani. you got money wah to spend" It doesn't have to be! true i spent a lot this time but honestly, i've been saving up since last year. I told a few people how much i've been saving up every month and its actually more than 70% of my allowance everymonth. I've still got my $58 transport allowances and my salary for daily living. I don't shop for clothes or unecessary stuff which i have already. Well i do spend a handsome amount of food and dvd. Travelling doesn;t mean you're rich but it means you love it. thats why you are willing to put every penny into a must-not touch account. and when you travel, make the most out of it. because its your money that you spend. That's why when i travel i feel soo upset if we can't make the most out of it or travel and see new places.

you live only once and the world is a big place to discover. You can't go to the same place everytime. And on a side note, you know how scary the air asia landing is? landing and take offs- always reminds me of my temporary life in this world and how i have not made the most of it.


My savings -tabung bejaur- for this trip is thinning. Its time for a new tabung. Tabung scuba diving lah ;D or maybe should start my tabung UK soon sal i should go there while my friends are still there. but i am short of money seriously. May it shower money tomorrow.

Salam.