Since someone close to me is leaving today, i thought that its the time i'd give their souvenirs from my travels and souvenirs Lina bought for them. haha awu... ada yg last year punya dah i have not given them yet. And i just realised banyak aku alum bagi atu. Procrastinator banar. Bah out. Need to sort things out. Read a little bio for practical. And buy card... still mixed feeling.

That person who knows a lot of me.

Had a great escape with Petat and Husrin. (no i did not escape any class. but someone did)

Had breaking-the-fast gathering with the ladies. Soon, we'll have to wait for another year for such gathering.

Had a really great night out with Islam. Its been a while since we meet or chat. It's quite fun eventhough its only the two of us left. Talk about 'aku suka wax' haha. Thanks for dangani bali barang untuk someone who's leaving. And i really do hope, that small bag will still be there until allowance day.=)

Another one, someone very dear to me, will be leaving on a jet plane today. It is... hard. Very hard to see the only one i share almost everything to leaving. And to think that i want this person to stay for a while, while everyone else leaves...

sangat berat hati.

Salam. Malam. Sayang.

The air

I am testing you.
And you failed the test.


so I guess its fine if its like this.



I want to be like the air.

Tagged by Nurul Adibah.

State 15 wierd things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself.
The 10 people I tag are then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts.
No tag backs (:


1) I don't cook.


2) I was told to have WPW. So try not to startle me.


3) When i am unusually quiet, i am thinking.


4) When i put my fingers on my lips (as if biting my nails) while someone is talking, its either i am thinking about what that person is saying or i am judging that person from the way he talks.


5) I have the tendency to buy stuff for the people close to me. Aha.


6) Although i may look like a spender, i do save.


7) The only time i spend money for clothes is when i am overseas. So no, you can hardly see me spend on clothings. And some of the shirts i wore dates back in my secondary years (and now i am a uni student)


8) I have 6 Swatch skins- and i love each and everyone of them =p ahaha.


9) I am an emo. Pemarah and penjeles. And yes i am promoting my bad traits instead of the good ones, The good ones its up for people to see or not to see.


10) Saya tahu sepertinya saya ini gatal. (tapi gatal lagi Nurul Adibah) but no... guys don't melt melt me easily.

11) I have so much love to give =p=p like many saggitarians do. Sagis are romantis kali aa.


12) I love travelling. And you know this.


13) I am a collector- i mainly collect keychains esp to places i travelled to. and they are a lot. hehe. And i collect post cards too. And telephone cards. I have a drawer full of these collections. This is in the blood. My late grandad collect bells. My uncle collects expensive model cars.



14) And apparently i am fond of rocks too. I collect them =p hahaha. si T ani penapau ne.



15) And this is my laptops wallpaper



and i tag everyone reading this post. Carahh =)

asking myself over and over..

Is it okay if its like this??

yea.. its okay i guess. Its how things are supposed to be.

Status: appear offline. No one even noticed if i'm appearing online so what's the use right?

Asif Zardari, a president or just another widower of the late president.

And kepada si Mul yang ambil politics and government =p :

Duda si Benazir manang election in Pakistan aa.


Asif ali Zardari, the representing PPP (previously lead by the late Benazir Bhutto and they have a very handsome son =p), is branded as supremely corrupt. Ahaha. Read here


i considered taking politics mul...but then i still love bio more =D soo,.. aku jadi assistant mu ja mul eh the one who will update you with news since you're taking Pol and Govt. =p

The 10 minutes that worth 5%.

With 2 weeks of trying to understand the concept of the topic and only 3 hours of sleep, i turned these...

to these.

Thanks to the people who did not answer 'i have not revise' (sense the sarcasm)when i asked about the spatial and temporal characteristics of earth natural system, and gave their support though they too did not understand the topic. You know who you are- especially the one in Perth.

Bah outie. Gotta rush to skool for language tutorial. My monday is a full day. But that doesn't matter. I lost count of days already. will be back blogging properly.

Everything counts

Even for a 5%, everything counts.

i hope it goes very well esok. Amin.

Wish me success.

omoshiroi desu ne kono seikai.

btw japanese PM Yasuo Fukuda stepped down and its been in the news. And one commentary about Samak compares Yasuo with him. why? find it yourself.

yesterday the new pakistan PM escapes assasination attempt in rawalpindi. Last month pervez musharraf, former president of Pakistan was forced to resign due to ruling coalition. Just as how late Benazir was forced to resign and go into exile and eventually being assasinated in Rawalpindi. Just as how her father (i forgot his name) was betrayed and forced to resign and eventually being killed. The Pakistani political history is an ironic one. I mean, one overthrow one and become the ruler. And then find themselves being overthrowed by others who will become the ruler. And that ruler will be forced to stepped down again or assasinated. ironic.

look at what i found in wiki Sundaravej said "I will never resign in response to these threats.I will not dissolve the House.."

Now. My point is.. maybe samak never learn from outside politics.

I want to learn mandarin eh. (this is random)

Tej might be the catalyst for house dissolution.

i am happier than yesterday since i totally blacked out from 7+ pm to 4 am. i am tired. and i'm beginning to doubt if it is a right decision to choose maths this sem instead of chem.

And it wouldn't be fair right if i don't update you with the Thai situation. Its 8.08am and and every morning at 8 there be an international news on astro awani. Mum have not subscribe cnn asia.

Ted Bunnag, the thai foreign minister resigned on wednesday.

"Mr Tej resigned the day after his secretary Poksak Nilubol handed in his resignation.
"I resigned because I cannot work under a government leadership which assumes no responsibility for what’s going on in the country," said Mr Poksak.- bangkok post."

diplomatic sources said he resigned because he was upset with the political even past few days. But highly placed source said he resign because he needs time to nurse his ailing wife.

Again, our former gp tutor, Mr Boyce once told us, one person can be a hero on one side but on the other side he may be tho one who can bring further. It depends from which side you are looking at. And ofcourse both sides will give statements that will ensure that their place will not be at risk. That makes it difficult for us.. no? Us, the spectators just read news blindly, because its hard for us to know which is right and wrong.

You should read his cv and for someone of his status and knowledge to quit during state emergency, i'd say there must be more. Read here

Hiatus.


Having a hard time.



I just have no appetite lately. I just want sleep.

but i can't. there're lots of things going on. salam.

Try and open your eyes and look at it from our spectacles.

='(

No i am not fine.


I am biased and i might just continue to have a biased view to those who got the chance to study overseas. you cannot buy experience. Like billah said, you have stories to tell. handsome Krygystan, bastard drunks, bills to pay, language barriers... eurotrips, nippon-korea trip and what story do we have to share with others in the future? "masa zaman remaja dulu kami bejalan bepanas paluh bebau dari chancellor ke fass. lapas tu kerita ku paking di masjid. Sekali ku minta dangani org ke masjid ambil kerita sebab berijap." and this will go on for years. And not forgetting... "kalau kamu ada lelaki orang puteh kami ada org melayu. ni betimbun ah"


And no, i am not fine.


I thought HRD has informed the university of reading that i will not be going but it seems that they did not! i am very upset. I recieved a DHL mail of an official offer letter with the reading stamp on it. It says with the letter i have fully accepted the cost bla bla and that i am expected to register by september 26. Yes...i did not informed them because it hurts to say that i cannot go because i am not rich, after doing my best to get a acceptance. And now i have to because that bastard HRD have not told them. And yess. I am very very upset of having to do and sent that email


I tried to say its okay but when i think about it, it took my nights away worrying if i'll ever get a place and when i do, i had to email them and say: sadly i couldn't go.

I really wished i hadn't seen that letter ='(. made me recall things. I guess i cannot just be simple minded bruneian where you can feed me with cars and assume i have forgotten everything.


may your future be bright my dear country because... well its getting gloomy by the day. And yea..i've watched hong gil dong and the situation of old jeoseon. And not being sarcastic or anything... we seem to have move towards that kind of place. We are just too blind to see things or we blind ourselves because ...you know better why.

Bangkok in state of emergency.

On another note....

Bangkok is under state emergency.

Awu. T is still T and i love watching news. and i am a fan of outside politics. Its fun to watch egoistic and power hungry people put up a show. Anyways, i can't remember which morning it was but i watched the footage of the protest in Bangkok. It was really huge. And there was a video of Samak saying something like this "they have no right to cause such commotion in the public...i will not back down no matter what..." yes. I remembered it well because i find it selfish but don't mind me i am not politically oriented. I just find that it selfish because of humanitarian instinct. Massive protest never went well right.

And i was right. now the protest in Bangkok is deadly. So far i've read that only one was killed and many injured but it always starts with one to start a bigger bloodshed. Samak has now declared Bangkok under state of emergency and with this emergency the army commander has right to 'ban a gathering of more than five people' (again i am quoting this because i find it funny). kamu tau napa org opposition marah... ku baca ya membali votes las december. hahaha cali kan.



read here for BBC side of story. and here for video showing what happened in bangkok from CNN.

My whole point it... think twice before you plan to go to Bangkok now dear Bruneians. Even South Korea and Singapore have told their citizens not to go there for unnecessary purposes which i assume is holiday. Though... i would like to be there. aha.. thrill jua tu. Anyways, after the state emergency, foreigners working in bangkok said the situation is calm but tense.. still if you don't like to go dangerous place like Bali (pfft!! ) id say this...bangkok is still dangerous. Jangan di sangka air yang tenang tiada buaya ...no? ;)


its been a while... The last time i went there was years ago and i find it fun because you get to be scared of drunkards, fried cockroaches, durian and etc. For me, going to Thailand was as fun as going to Laos or vietnam (ahaha i failed convincing mum of bali..tapi... she was okay with the mention of Vietnam...so should our end of year plan goes wrong..we'll maybe go to vietnam yayy =D) ohh. Another fun place to go now... malaysia. because once you get out of the airport there be a lot of teksi sapu waiting for you and driving dangerously to the city. And every taxi driver has their own political story to tell and oil price rise issues to rant. the moral of this paragraph... its no use telling me how lucky i am with the 4 Fs. I'm a traveller at heart.. and interesting places intrigues me. sigh.

pictures are taken from BBC.

No i am not fine.

LOVE.

friends..remember the times i used to tell you that i don't drink coffee or tea and people go... aaaii sayang jua. some even told me that i'm missing a good part of life. sama macam mata sexy si dibah yang inda pandai makan gula2... inda ku pandai minum teh. But i have been drinking tea lately... eversince i started studying at ubd (during the orientation you would find tea and coffee being served but no mineral water.. yatah). And surprisingly... i find some tea quite nice especially the dorchester blend last time during high tea at empire haha inda ku nyasal order dorchester blend instead of paris..mcm pahit paris a.

Tapi kan..


i guess, i really can't fool my body. Nausea banar ku. brapa ari ani minum teh saja. I feel like sleeping near the toilet at this rate. bah aku kajap ja ne. I wanna download and print my language notes for tommorow's 3 hour class.

and the topic for tommorow is ... LOVE. ;) and i am not kidding. nurul adibah...imagine me learning the chapter 2: LOVE with your mata shekshi =p=p owh owh and there'll be a trip to that country (tapi mahal banget na ku sanggup). still...who knows one day i'd be strolling down the streets of that romantic city with.... =p=p alum ko jeles dibah? hahaha.

and to the people, u know who you are. its hard to swallow everything and kill the doubt especially when the cloud is still cloudy, but then again, terima kasih. =') luvs u.

outie.. aku pun kan..makil =p hari monday ku panuh banar. dri pagi sampai kul 6 ptg.

=(

Someone or just anyone need to remind me about the good things of staying here.

Awu i am still very jealous that my friends are going to new places- cities with skyscrapers and seasonal climates.


Furthermore, i am getting extremely upset of my bio practicals. I know i am pretty bad with practicals to start with and i do realise i've gotten better at it. The practicals count for some percent in the overall exam marks and i am really not satisfied with mine. So far we're done with kingdom monera, fungi and plantae. And that is 3 practicals with Dr Jun this semester. The rest will be with other lecturers. I did finish it (and that's a huge improvement considering i've never finish mine on time) but still i think i've done a pretty messy job- its just soo unneat =(

Somehow in the past few days, i have no idea anymore what i am good at. or what my future will be. I know some of my friends have their sights on hospitals, being a succesful software engineer, bsp and even working in embassies..which are exciting. Me? ntah. All i know is i love bio and geo and languages. and i want to travel a lot.. not stay in one place.. Hah! where will that goal bring me???

I need to sort myself out and create a realistic goal. This way...just being grateful that i got to continue my education (despite not being able to continue it abroad)...isn't working very well for me. I need a goal. sigh. bah. I have language test on saturday. Mr G is truly one to be admire. You'll be amazed of what he can do...or speak.


salam.

My car's first scratch.

Yes. hari hari ku sungguh sibuk. I can't say i am busy with classes because in some days i only have a few or none at all like yesterday and still i can hardly find a time to go online like i used to.

Last two days i didn't even get to send mum. When i texted her to ask if she's going, she called and said, "di kapal udah." ceeh. That night i dragged my bro to the clinic (for my aching foot) since nada org dangani and it was on the way to the clinic that my mr white hit the 1000 km! gehehe. So as you can guess i can drive faster now. =D

=)))))

I didn't have any class at all yesterday but i went to uni anyway for some discussions and an event with our new VC, Dr Zulkarnain. And wednesdays are eca days. We don't have any bio lecture yesterday (unlike the week before where the prof said, "you all don't look like sportsmen to me", and continued having a lecture though it is prohibited to have any on wed afternoon. ppfffttt.) I entered a club meeting but i just want to watch. In the end, I find it kind of fun so i will most probably continue with it. It ended quite late though because someone made a public dedication =p =p. i had to run with my aching foot to chancellors hall from fass and rush to the airport to pick mum up. Awu... sasak ku i can't join because i am not free anymore. bek jua ada burger king aha.

And i scratched my car! My first scratch. Damn that kereta (yang warna putih jua). That car was parked so faking close to me but that other car got scratched pretty bad compared to me aha. sapa suruh sukati paking.

Owh this is important. read this: i noticed that some people are just damn annoyed when some bloggers blabber about their daily lives like malam ini saya pergi ke bla bla bla. I am annoyed too with excessive mooshy stuffs (you might've noticed i am an emo. aha) but this blog is for my best buddies who are miles away from me and who will be miles away from me. We didn't get to talk to each other as much as we used to. So for their sake, i will blab about my daily life... just to make them sure that the ones who stayed here make brunei alivee. and Dayangku Siti Bazilah- make a blog dang! and to those in canada.. aha aku mau liat cana usul canada.

owh there was a moment when i was sad yesterday about staying here while my best buddies are and will be away to uk, china, aust and NZ. Macam they get to experience new places like dalian negri ala italy and get to be roomates with russian =(. Jeles ku jua mun kan d pikirkan. i realise mum has been trying to comfort me lately. bawa makan apa. we even bought a dvd player (because dvd player ku rosak) yang dpt karaoke. A sign that i can now buy karaoke equipments. ada plang ya becakap.. 'nda lagi banyak dangannya kesana kemari' msa adi ku mental aku kan bawa ya nanti mliat music recitals apa sama ochestra.

haha. bah. out ku. i want to surf about Gram reaction.. positive negative bacillus yada yada. haha. We have to hand in our practical report. oh.. sapanah lab partner(S) ku: ada si Bibah, Kimah and Pajrini. haha. bh. salam.

My Mr White.

yes. some of you might have read in B or K's blog. But.... yess 103 KM more to the awaited 1000 KM (before its first servicing =D ehee) Awu as expected... suzuki vitara. And its white just like my laptop. I have a collection of whites to you know. And to someone who said he's gonna buy a gadget which will be white..it better not be that white phillip radio i've been eyeing on. Bali brand lainn if it is that radio. I am still looking for a suitable white camera since someone has beat me to it. ciss nanti dah ku kaya elaun (which is batah lagi mun alum kuar elaun ku aha) ku membali camera. For now i'd just have to be content with other people's cybershot and 2.0 mp hp camera.


Dk bazilah was online and she's safely landed in Beijing!! ='( I'll support you through everything so goodluck with learning mandarin. (i might just learn mandarin on my own for you. nanti tah udah ku pandai jpun and this one particular language which is batah lagi ahahaha)


The good thing of being in uni is that we get to learn things. even languages ahaha. Btw my mission for first year is to master the katakana and some basic kanji on my own.. since si sensei nyuruh masuk intermediate tarus i can't just sit and wait to enter intermediate level without self practice kan.. that is how you forget. back to my story... the bad thing is that you can't join on an emergency trip overseas anymore. =( hmmph. bureng eh. aku mau ikut kalau jadi.


Before that... i've been watching japanese movies and drama lately just so i won't forget my japanese and yesterday i bought GOKUSEN 3!!! inda.. udah ku abis meliat barutah pinjam =p. bali sendiri kah 17 ringgit ja a.

btw. fratinis was great. go to K's blog for more pictures. if you guys wanna taste other food lagi tiqah onn =p (sbb rigatoni yg adi ku order atu nyaman a hha.)

bah out. i have tutorial maths alum ku buat utk esuk. loves all.

Mengenangmu.

2 left not long ago. One has left just yesterday. and 3 more to go. Despite enjoying my current uni life i felt really sad. Because when other girls has their best girlfriends to accompany her to the toilet, to walk to chancellors hall for ma1101, to buy one dollar food and gossip while having lunch... i have none. ='(


Now...there is no one who would answer my phonecalls at 1 in the morning. I will miss you. I miss you already.

The last newyears eve.

Last early morning at the mall.

The last going pantai outing.

the last night with you.

the last hug.

Until we meet again....

Tak kan pernah habis airmataku,
Bila ku ingat tentang dirimu,
Mungkin hanya kau yang tahu,
Mengapa sampai saat ini ku masih sendiri

Adakah di sana kau rindu padaku,
Meski kita kini ada di dunia berbeda,
Bila masih mungkin waktu kuputar,
kan kutunggu dirimu

Chorus:Biarlah ku simpan,
sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah dirimu dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku, kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi

<3

There will be someone i will miss so much.

and tonight i saw you cry.


Later... there'll be no one left to answer my phone calls in the middle of the night. Speak stuffs to me so i will be distracted from the foolish things i am thinking. or someone who can read my actions. or someone to talk to while appearing offline. or someone i can message and go out anytime.


There wil be someone i will miss so much.


all of you are leaving one by one. will you still remember the part i played in your lives?