=(

Someone or just anyone need to remind me about the good things of staying here.

Awu i am still very jealous that my friends are going to new places- cities with skyscrapers and seasonal climates.


Furthermore, i am getting extremely upset of my bio practicals. I know i am pretty bad with practicals to start with and i do realise i've gotten better at it. The practicals count for some percent in the overall exam marks and i am really not satisfied with mine. So far we're done with kingdom monera, fungi and plantae. And that is 3 practicals with Dr Jun this semester. The rest will be with other lecturers. I did finish it (and that's a huge improvement considering i've never finish mine on time) but still i think i've done a pretty messy job- its just soo unneat =(

Somehow in the past few days, i have no idea anymore what i am good at. or what my future will be. I know some of my friends have their sights on hospitals, being a succesful software engineer, bsp and even working in embassies..which are exciting. Me? ntah. All i know is i love bio and geo and languages. and i want to travel a lot.. not stay in one place.. Hah! where will that goal bring me???

I need to sort myself out and create a realistic goal. This way...just being grateful that i got to continue my education (despite not being able to continue it abroad)...isn't working very well for me. I need a goal. sigh. bah. I have language test on saturday. Mr G is truly one to be admire. You'll be amazed of what he can do...or speak.


salam.

My car's first scratch.

Yes. hari hari ku sungguh sibuk. I can't say i am busy with classes because in some days i only have a few or none at all like yesterday and still i can hardly find a time to go online like i used to.

Last two days i didn't even get to send mum. When i texted her to ask if she's going, she called and said, "di kapal udah." ceeh. That night i dragged my bro to the clinic (for my aching foot) since nada org dangani and it was on the way to the clinic that my mr white hit the 1000 km! gehehe. So as you can guess i can drive faster now. =D

=)))))

I didn't have any class at all yesterday but i went to uni anyway for some discussions and an event with our new VC, Dr Zulkarnain. And wednesdays are eca days. We don't have any bio lecture yesterday (unlike the week before where the prof said, "you all don't look like sportsmen to me", and continued having a lecture though it is prohibited to have any on wed afternoon. ppfffttt.) I entered a club meeting but i just want to watch. In the end, I find it kind of fun so i will most probably continue with it. It ended quite late though because someone made a public dedication =p =p. i had to run with my aching foot to chancellors hall from fass and rush to the airport to pick mum up. Awu... sasak ku i can't join because i am not free anymore. bek jua ada burger king aha.

And i scratched my car! My first scratch. Damn that kereta (yang warna putih jua). That car was parked so faking close to me but that other car got scratched pretty bad compared to me aha. sapa suruh sukati paking.

Owh this is important. read this: i noticed that some people are just damn annoyed when some bloggers blabber about their daily lives like malam ini saya pergi ke bla bla bla. I am annoyed too with excessive mooshy stuffs (you might've noticed i am an emo. aha) but this blog is for my best buddies who are miles away from me and who will be miles away from me. We didn't get to talk to each other as much as we used to. So for their sake, i will blab about my daily life... just to make them sure that the ones who stayed here make brunei alivee. and Dayangku Siti Bazilah- make a blog dang! and to those in canada.. aha aku mau liat cana usul canada.

owh there was a moment when i was sad yesterday about staying here while my best buddies are and will be away to uk, china, aust and NZ. Macam they get to experience new places like dalian negri ala italy and get to be roomates with russian =(. Jeles ku jua mun kan d pikirkan. i realise mum has been trying to comfort me lately. bawa makan apa. we even bought a dvd player (because dvd player ku rosak) yang dpt karaoke. A sign that i can now buy karaoke equipments. ada plang ya becakap.. 'nda lagi banyak dangannya kesana kemari' msa adi ku mental aku kan bawa ya nanti mliat music recitals apa sama ochestra.

haha. bah. out ku. i want to surf about Gram reaction.. positive negative bacillus yada yada. haha. We have to hand in our practical report. oh.. sapanah lab partner(S) ku: ada si Bibah, Kimah and Pajrini. haha. bh. salam.

My Mr White.

yes. some of you might have read in B or K's blog. But.... yess 103 KM more to the awaited 1000 KM (before its first servicing =D ehee) Awu as expected... suzuki vitara. And its white just like my laptop. I have a collection of whites to you know. And to someone who said he's gonna buy a gadget which will be white..it better not be that white phillip radio i've been eyeing on. Bali brand lainn if it is that radio. I am still looking for a suitable white camera since someone has beat me to it. ciss nanti dah ku kaya elaun (which is batah lagi mun alum kuar elaun ku aha) ku membali camera. For now i'd just have to be content with other people's cybershot and 2.0 mp hp camera.


Dk bazilah was online and she's safely landed in Beijing!! ='( I'll support you through everything so goodluck with learning mandarin. (i might just learn mandarin on my own for you. nanti tah udah ku pandai jpun and this one particular language which is batah lagi ahahaha)


The good thing of being in uni is that we get to learn things. even languages ahaha. Btw my mission for first year is to master the katakana and some basic kanji on my own.. since si sensei nyuruh masuk intermediate tarus i can't just sit and wait to enter intermediate level without self practice kan.. that is how you forget. back to my story... the bad thing is that you can't join on an emergency trip overseas anymore. =( hmmph. bureng eh. aku mau ikut kalau jadi.


Before that... i've been watching japanese movies and drama lately just so i won't forget my japanese and yesterday i bought GOKUSEN 3!!! inda.. udah ku abis meliat barutah pinjam =p. bali sendiri kah 17 ringgit ja a.

btw. fratinis was great. go to K's blog for more pictures. if you guys wanna taste other food lagi tiqah onn =p (sbb rigatoni yg adi ku order atu nyaman a hha.)

bah out. i have tutorial maths alum ku buat utk esuk. loves all.

Mengenangmu.

2 left not long ago. One has left just yesterday. and 3 more to go. Despite enjoying my current uni life i felt really sad. Because when other girls has their best girlfriends to accompany her to the toilet, to walk to chancellors hall for ma1101, to buy one dollar food and gossip while having lunch... i have none. ='(


Now...there is no one who would answer my phonecalls at 1 in the morning. I will miss you. I miss you already.

The last newyears eve.

Last early morning at the mall.

The last going pantai outing.

the last night with you.

the last hug.

Until we meet again....

Tak kan pernah habis airmataku,
Bila ku ingat tentang dirimu,
Mungkin hanya kau yang tahu,
Mengapa sampai saat ini ku masih sendiri

Adakah di sana kau rindu padaku,
Meski kita kini ada di dunia berbeda,
Bila masih mungkin waktu kuputar,
kan kutunggu dirimu

Chorus:Biarlah ku simpan,
sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah dirimu dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku, kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi

<3

There will be someone i will miss so much.

and tonight i saw you cry.


Later... there'll be no one left to answer my phone calls in the middle of the night. Speak stuffs to me so i will be distracted from the foolish things i am thinking. or someone who can read my actions. or someone to talk to while appearing offline. or someone i can message and go out anytime.


There wil be someone i will miss so much.


all of you are leaving one by one. will you still remember the part i played in your lives?

Vous

I tried to... but i can't do...
nothing's changed.
I have become so foolish.
Perhaps i will stay foolish.
for a very long time.



hounto gomen.

If you need a bitch.i'd be one.

Fak.
I am pissed.

If you are so pissed with something i said then sorry for hurting your feelings.
But i am not sorry for saying that.
Because enemies will 'let it be' and let you do the wrong thing.

but

true friends will slap you in the face, be angry, not talk to you and make you realise what an ass you've been acting.

And i'd be delighted to be that true friend.




out. there's just a lot of things to sort out still. And its mixing up my emotions.
and you'll never really know.

Vanilla tempura?

Thank you Roxine for a great night. Sniff. It was indeed a fantastic japanese photo experience ;) And yes you are going to go on an extended trip. Who knows when we will meet each other and eat sushi together again. Hehe maybe next time. Who knows.

stay the same because roxine rocks. hehe and make Canada a happy place. =)

Ps- saya suka vanilla tempura =p gehehe. I'll always remember that si Rox tu introduce vanilla tempura the next time i eat it. hehe

maafin ya bu

banarnya malas ku blogging. skali kan tejumpa ku something and this blog is specially for babu amal tercinta yang berada d NZ pada masa ini (since i dun feel like blogging lately. know that when i blog. its for my friends who would stay by my side even when everyone else leaves):





FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING THIS. JUNSU LOOKS HOT IN HERE ;p


ahha. eheehehhe. tepikat ku eh. hahaha.=p=p maafin ya bu. hahaha.

Teman Si Nina dikala kesunyian.

I have a friend. namanya si Nina. Ya ada teman. have you seen her mister? Cute and cuddly and very pemarah. And yet he's been through bad and good times. And fun time.

Meet Mr. Mumbles.

kiut kan kucing Si Nina?? (yg durang hiasi apa ani) truly. made my day.

nina said... if its cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile. I just want you to know You, you, kamu and semuanya are my smiles. but do i form part of yours?'

I just kept thinking and thinking. No. don't lie.

Its all i can do.

I will get serious in Mr G's class.

Since someone had brought that little damn book everywhere he goes, it made me felt challenged. haha. though i'd rather read the book on beginners for kanji (no i'm still not allowed to take nihongo this year but jump straight into intermediate next year). I learnt a little kanji characters these few days. Its quite easy when you practice. And i find Mr G's class harder than learning basic kanji.

I remembered the most and the easiest hito or ren (if you wanna call it in chinese), awu. if its billah you'll find him at the children section of the library. if its me... you know where my passion lies (other than bio and geo). and by the end of four years...you'll see me fooling around in a few languages..if its possible. And no korean is too much for me.

Still i prefer not to tell anyone what language i'm learning. i just don't feel like it yet.

and fyi- i am not falling for anyone in this institution yet excuse me. I walk and talk with others just like i walk and talk with you right. Its just tiqah's way of being friendly. And when i fall for someone..its gonna be a different story. So get used to my way of making friends and don't start making assupmetions yet k ;) saya tak mare. kalau si billy or si shaky yg buat assumption (and making wierd noises while i was talking to a friend ... baru ku katuk palanya!) in conclusion: inda...manada ku suka suka si Brk atu. kamu ani eh. inda baik gosip2 ani. ambuk banar kmu ani eh- 98% the same as human. hehe.

gomen.I can't bring myself to..
but this is all i can do for myself.

FLEXIBILITY.

When i can remember that humans are spatial actors.. why can't i remember what is space?

hmm. so the tagboard is not for 'chatting' awwh... i was just starting to have some fun with si barak. hahahaha. gila hahaha baik jua nick name ku buat sna. inda jua di kenali. haha.

and some of the 20 good reasons to date a squash player (as posted by the ubd squash club):

-we like it hard and fast against the wall.

-after 90 seconds we're ready to do it again.

-we're used to performing with minimal amounts of clothing.

-we're always open to new moves and positions.

-we like being video taped to improve ourselves.

-we hit from any angle.

-one word: flexibility.

this advert by the squash club posted everywhere around the campus got us... interested /kirai. haha. squash has never sound this interesting. and there is 20 good reasons and i'm to lazy to type everything. Okay one more: we show off our legs.

and another one (last one): we enjoy doing hard things.

interesting right? bah jadi kamu kan join ani.

ps- rina yg bebau harum. bah. aku layan.. aku ada racket dh utk spanking. ;p u stick with ur vanilla ice cream. banyak g org beguna cpr tu d bio lab ah hahaha.

it hurts to lie to yourself saying that
everythings gonna be alright.

Spatial actors.

For some matter, cut and paste doesn't usually function well. hence, its just there.. in the temporary files. Unattended.

For some people, they'll never understand.Hence they will continue to cut and cut or copy. without noticing that they are overloading the temporary file.

have one ever thought.. what will happen when the system cannot hold the heavy load anymore?

can you fix it on your own?

side story- i've read from R christopherson geo book that, human are spatial actors- they affect and are being affected by their surroundings. i still do enjoy geo. and really. an hour of break is enough. I don't feel like i need more.

Lineless fractions

First tutorial (say it with that cute accent) starts at 9am and last lecture finished at 6pm.

Dead beat. And the last lecture was very stressful- i prefer not to say what my last lecture was so those who knew just keep it to your self. jgn gto orang please until i feel like telling others what it is. and like someone said..i don't feel like giving up! haha because its very stressful and i want to take the challenge. (i do enjoy it so much. it's what i love doing.)


I'm sorry for not blogging properly. i am just not in the right mood to do so. and i will blog less often after this. Dr charles was right... it seems that we too will slowly turn mad (just like him). Brown hair will slowly turn lighter and lighter and blonde. anyways i am having problems with my printer hence the title of this post.

bah out. sibuk menyibukkan diri. bah till then.. just listen to that song. No new songs..this is the only one that has been replaying in my ears lately.

Ku coba untuk melawan hati. Tapi hampa terasa di sini tanpamu. Bagiku semua sangat berarti lagi. Ku ingin kau di sini. Tepiskan sepiku bersamamu.


Takkan pernah ada yang lain di sisi.Segenap jiwa hanya untukmu





why.

i miss.

BDNOC might be sanctioned by law?

Read this. THIS IS REAL GOOD.


"The same Olympic Charter under by-law on Rule 45-9 (the Olympic Games) mentions that if the council withdraws from participating in any Olympic Games without the consent of the IOC Executive Board, the council would end up being sanctioned or measures such as fines will be imposed. Now that the country has no athletes in Beijing Olympics, there is a possibility that sanctions will be made, resulting in Brunei not being able to participate in the Southeast Asian (SEA) Games and other international tournaments in the future.The worst case scenario is that the sultanate will be kicked out of the IOC, though any decisions regarding the matter will only be made after the Olympics come to a close on Aug 24." -brunei times.



Shudder. Sanctioned? I don't know if BT is doing this to increase newspaper sales or watev but i don't care. Doesn't it frighten you as a citizen of brunei that the national olympic council might be sanctioned?? This whole thing...their explanations are ridiculous. hah. Don't just release such things to save your own ass. And rano is right. A press conference might just make things better.

I would want to be in that press conference and bombard them with questions (and stones and tissue rolls and tennis balls...... and golf balls or just swing that golf club at them). really. as a mere rakyat the press release or apology does not satisfy me one bit. Lets see what will be in tommorow's papers/news. There better be a better excuse. hah!!

Blame game.

read here.


Its heating up. wuu. I am with everybody else. Stop playing the blame game. And i agree...this is an embarassing moment. Grown ups shouldn't play blaming games. Don't be egoistic enough to admit your mistake. and yess. there should be ample time for training kan with the four year gap. Explain what they have been doing in 4 years please. Don't make us say maju sukan untuk negara for nothing.

i want more. internet bashing isn't enough.

The explanation- press release by Brunei Olympic Council for Beijing 2008.

phewwh. Atleast there is an explanation. Membari marah dh ku ne. And malu. sebab balik2 di cakapnya kemarin brunei excluded wth. And i was trying to get everyone else pissed too. Kan meliat olympic nada Brunei. sapa tah kan ku sokong... Jepun pakah. Macam lack of communication banar eh.

Click to enlarge the press release by Brunei Olympic Council for Beijing 2008.

bah dis is just a short one. i just wanted to check if there's any explanation. Bah out. i have some function going on in the evening. Kan ambil nenek lambak ku dulu bwa kesini.


and to si Nina on something. blessing in disguise? yeah..perhaps its just to make it easier for me. it was never right from the start.

Failed to register? wth happened?!

Brunei excluded from 2008 Games Olympics Bird's nest

Beijing - The International Olympic Committee has excluded Brunei from the Beijing Games after the South East Asian country failed to register any of its athletes.

The Olympics competitive action in Beijing begins on Saturday.

Brunei had until midnight ahead of Friday's ceremony, which started at 1245 BST, but missed the deadline.

"It is a great shame and very sad for the athletes who lose out," an IOC spokeswoman said.
Brunei's absence means that only 204 countries will compete at the Olympics, which officially started on Friday.

The IOC's Emmanuelle Moreau said in a statement: "The IOC tried up until the last minute to have them register, but to no avail."

The Brunei athletes involved are 15-year-old swimmer Maria Grace Koh and shot putter Mohammed Yazid Yatimi Yusof. -- Courtesy of BBC


Why did they fail to register? unlike rano who thinks there might be a good reason for it... i am not satisfied and demand a public explanation to thousands of olympic enthusiast. This is dissapointing. heh. There is a long way until brunei to grace the olympics huh. the opening ceremony was awesome but too much. Too much people down there. It annoys me. Besides the commentator kept on saying that 'darussalam was excluded from the olympics'. Annoying. awu I don't do sports. but atleast I watch. THIS IS DISSAPOINTING. atleast last time, even though there were only one or two athletes...there were brunei athletes. and i thought Brunei's sport is getting better and better recently.

out. My first bio lecture in a week. i am pretty damn happy at last there is Bio.

if only you'd know the stuff i am dealing with right now...the desicion i will have to make... you won't say the things you say.

those things are enough to make me sleepless so don't go about saying that i am ungrateful being in a uni when you don't even know what i am dealing with.

so thank you. for making me even more sad.

Segenap jiwa hanya untuk mu.

And while i settle down and adapt...here is a song.

Hingga akhir waktu- nineball


Ku coba untuk melawan hati
Tapi hampa terasa di sini tanpamu
Bagiku semua sangat berarti lagi
Ku ingin kau di sini
Tepiskan sepiku bersamamu

*
Takkan pernah ada yang lain di sisi
Segenap jiwa hanya untukmu
Dan takkan mungkin ada yang lain di sisi
Ku ingin kau di sini tepiskan sepiku bersamamu

Bagiku semua sangat berarti
Ku ingin kau di sini
Bagiku semua sangat berarti lagi
Ku ingin kau di sini

**
Takkan pernah ada yang lain di sisi
Segenap jiwa hanya untukmu
Dan takkan mungkin ada yang lain di sisi
Ku ingin kau di sini tepiskan sepiku bersamamu
Hingga akhir waktu, hingga akhir waktu

The long post.

Worried sick. Confused. Worried sick about this confusion. And i am getting sick. They said it shows in me. That i am worried sick about one particular thing. I'll tell you what it is when everything is settled. Hopefully...when green turns to yellow. Mudahan tah dpt. amin.

Today i learnt the reality of university life..that despite being in the same institution you don't get to see each other that often. Like Ros, B, Amsyar and Ben i only see them during math 1101 lecture... Dibah and Qilah..i didn't see them since yesterday at all. So don't say i have found a new circle to be with, we hardly even see each other. Secondly, the people i would see almost eveyday are the BioSci firstyrs and they are awesome.

Hari hari saya lihat Husrin. and this will go on for another 4 years. ahahahaha. he is nice though tumpis banar mulutnya ah mun bab hantu hantu ani buleeh. kami yg tkut. haha. i heard he is not talking to someone i know. hey.. stop the silence between you two. hmm its not like i can do anything since i know how that other person's attitude. but just one thing.. just try and stop the 'not talking' routine with everyone you're annoyed with. Its time to grow up and learn how to deal with people with difficult personalities. just try and control that temper. Another thing i learnt today is that most of the 8 of us, the BioSci, klik bnr la with each other....and that chemistry is a difficult subject for us. =/

i learnt too that just being there can make me shed a few of pounds without FZ. gad.the distance we have to rush through is more than 30 minutes of natural runner. and the heat is as affective as the sauna. The food....is...eh inda aku diet kali aa =p to Kerol: manada ku blapar. ukan cam kau malas ambil mknn wlpn lapar =p

And i learnt that i need to be careful when walking with any guy friend when its just the two of us. It seems that when just a friend walk with just a friend, the people around us will start looking and make assumptions.The very good friend might know truth but the people around us don't. So no matter how much i hate to be too cautious .. i must. and i did say that just a friend maybe turn into love so that is why people are looking and making assumptions. But i walk with a lot of them...so how can one manage a lot of assumptions? kan kann. membari sasak.

besides, the heart is only for______________ (insert your assumptions here) =p

hahahahah. this is fun..nada bahh. =p and while aku melayan uri ku... i spent a lot of my waking time reading this book: Benazir Bhutto Autobiography.

Atleast i can pause myself from worrying too much. Its a really good read- about the life of the late Benazir Bhutto, that heroic woman. It is an autobiography so expect historical facts and POV from the woman herself on her country's affair. And she deserves to be an icon..the life she went through was not like most of us. I got it from Best Eastern and there was the a book about Aung Suu Kyi too but.. one at a time. kapih ku. i am not even close to a quarter of the book. but i very much enjoy it.


and to a certain someone who said that i cannot be distracted: don't think i catch your words huh? =p cannot be distracted... hmm. maybe the distractions works slowly. who knows in time...i'll just be drifted away by distractions =/ maybe. hmmm.

seriously upset. =( ='(

Susah hati. Teramat.

Hech two Oo.

Wanna know what is the worst day to go home and found out that there is no water running through the taps:

second day of period.

Argh. hopefully by the time i wake up tommorow morning, third day of period, there'll be water. Screw kotex or laurier. Water is what i need.


and i need to starve myself. hahaha. Thats another term for diet. =p By looking at the BBQ pics on KaF's blog...mcm mikin bepipi aku aa. haha.

Life is full of distractions. CH1101 and MA1101 are two of them

I was so exhausted i slept with my jeans. haha. Anyways, like i said i had lunch with the ladies yesterday. Nina picked me and Wadiah up. And we weremostly updating each other. and si Nin might leave earlier to UK than si Wadiah.We both hope she gets through with the process. While they chatted, i just watched them while drinking and ocassionally looking outside just like any one would do, a normal action. But Nin went, "si tiqah ne ada ne dipikirkan nya..apa ko pikirkan tiq.."

Haha well. I guess i cannot hide from them. was it obvious that my mind is full of something? Or is it just you ladies..who know me that much. There is a lot in my mind and i am trying hard to push it aside. trying to do so by making myself busy.


I need distractions. And goodlooking footballers and unissa undergrad isn't working.


perhaps 4 hours of chemistry 1101 every monday morning can distract me from these things in my mind. and yes. Its a core course =/ just like bio. (a core course). maths is our minor course. everything is fixed. No one can say anything or perhaps drop anything. On the bright side, i don't have to choose between maths and chem since i am taking both courses this semester. hahahaha. booo orang yang memilih major minor. kami kena pilihkan. And my optional course..is something. You won't be surprised. Haha and thank god husrin is taking the same course with me even the optional. Ada jua dangan belari ke lecture room and menangis kalau kepayahan chemistry and maths. i just hope i can go through with both chemistry and maths. Thank god elaine and the rest are in bsc chemistry programme and si sahlan and byl are in bsc maths programme. Atleast, i know where to go to if they drive me nuts. bah gotta go to dibah. Its BBQ time.

Life is full of distractions....but not all of them can really distract you.

In a hurry.

I will blog when i have time. Byl picked me up for the sport challenge this morning and thank god i survived. like i said FZ gym has done less for my fitness level. Were sent home in at around 11 and Nina picked me up at around 1 for lunch. And went somewhere. ( right now i prefer not to mention my activities every friday afternoon and night. Who knows knows. people make a fuss out of it eversince i entered uni life.) And now i have to go somewhere.

But first of all. Thanks to Elia, Izzy Sofia, dayat and si Dewi for the fun time i had. I had fun with you hulks ;p


and thanks a lot dear Dibah and Billah for the promo =p=p puuiiii nada ku beguna promo aah. ahhaha

bah out. kan jalan ku ne. haha gagas naip.