The day i turned 21

I spent the morning of my birthday just googling around things i can't have and thinking of ways to get some finance so i can get those things. But, infact, i'm just trying to pujuk myself cause i don't think i'll be able to get it this year. Sighs. I planned that i might be able to get one by the end of this year, i was being too optimistic, thinking money would fly to me. I underestimated my spending abilities haha. anyways... I'll just have to continue googling these stuffs and decide whether i should get a lomo camera instead since lomo's are 5 times cheaper than a dlsr. I can't decide. Or maybe i'll just have to let both go this year haha and save up to get it next year. and seems like the travel plan's been changed again. The previous destination has been pushed to next february and i can't come with :( Nvm. Maybe i wasn't ready for it anyway. Now they are trying to discuss our next destination for family travel. Route changes in a short notice, i hope they found a way to get us to that place. I wanted to continue FZ but i just read a bad review about the current FZ that says that the mall's branch has been closed. Hmm i didn't know that and now i am not sure if i want to continue FZ anymore. I guess 21 started with indecisiveness lol.

Other than that, Happy Birthday me. Hope i won't stutter and hope that i exhibit brilliance and leadership in my inteview (that is if the call is not a prank) Salam.

Happy holidays.

Dreaded exam has passed and its holiday. I know i shall enjoy this holiday just like how i enjoy every holiday and i know some might not enjoy it much. I feel so sorry for the loss of our dear friend ben. I know i've been hard on him for quite sometime this semester. I guess after being surrounded by some lost (either family ties or family itself), i tend to ignore the feelings of others who are in the phase of losing. And i kind of have lost my affection towards any fatherly figure a long time ago to know what it feels to love a father so much. I am sure its a wonderful feeling :) So i truly am sorry for any things i've said and so sorry for your lost dear friend.

This semester was not one of my best. I guess i'll just have to try again next semester. And its slowly approaching the end of my 20th! I can't believe i've survive 20 years of test from God. Too many things happened this 20 years. Moved schools. moved houses. bruises and abuses. Running away from 'fear', fighting 'fear'. Losing people along the way, knowing others along the way. Being hurt and hurting others. Success and failures. Laughters and the tears. Life indeed is a balance.

What i've gained in these 20 years was- strength. What i wish 20 years to come is this: to forever never see a man hit or hurt a women in my life again, to find a guy who can make me trust a man again and to have friends who would still trust and care, no matter how much distance have seperated us in the future. This would be my 20 years of birthday gift in advance lah haha.

As for where i am going this holiday, i am not ready to tell people where because even the date has been pushed, so everything else has not been confirmed yet. Besides, i truly am afraid that i might not be ready to go to that place. God knows better i guess. So before that day of travel comes, i'll just stay at home, play games and maybe regain my fitness and lose a little weight (though the last one may be impossible though haha)

Happy holidays people. Hope the exam will turn out fine. Amin.

=(

I think i need prayers of others to pass my mandarin. Sigh. I wasn't that i didn't study. Infact, those that came out, we never studied. No offence but ofcourse my chinese classmates in mandarin class understood and that left me like one of the only one who didn't :( and seriously, time management was not my thing this time and i missed quite a lot of points for the other papers. sigh

Pray that i pass mandarin. Amin ya rabb.

Why do we say its a battle? its only an exam,

if we could party all night, and sleep all day and throw all my problems away, my life would be easy easy


But thats not the case though lol. One day to exam and my radio is blasting with club songs. Not to mention how we made SHBIE room into a dance floor at midnight just to release the stress. I feel so un-confident (more that it used to be). Perhaps its because i did quite so so for my course work. and its just so difficult to remember all the facts especially tropical forest course. or maybe because i'm already in my third year and it comprises of a lot of percentage. Hope i can make this work, though i am really feeling not ready

Pray for me.


Ihdinassiratal mustaqim.

"Welcome to our community tiger", says the proboscis

How was 5th semester? Busy! Busy doing reports, researching about conservation on the internet, going to the jungle and various places in Brunei, Studying mandarin (which is difficult this sem and i think it would take a miracle to get an A) and trying to pull myself together during these tough times. this is seriously a terrible semester for me. I've been lazying and things are just so much harder. Also doing this:

Don't underestimate the mangrove soil. There were some points along the mud where we sank until knee length and had to cling to mangrove roots to save ourselves. But it was all exciting. And look at how majestic those roots are.

Thank God for them who always manage to make me laugh even in stressful times, making jokes out of EVERYTHING and saying things which are always nonsense but in fact it eases the stress a lot.

I agree what rambo said, we've been lost contact with the others recently. and thank god for that. Usually, we would go out and hang out till late night at a certain cafe or just chill. Meet maths people, the chems, the physics the CS people and chat about nonsense stuff.But lately we've been sticking around each other a lot and i guess other people sometimes thinks what we didn't want to bring them along. Its not that. Its just that we're currently in the same situation doing reports and so we depend on each other so much.

Why i say thank god we lost contact for a bit is because, if we do, i don't think we'll manage to get through this semester full of field works, presentations and reports. But i do enjoy the field trips, i must say.

and did you know that panthera tigris is endangered in the IUCN list? (year assesed: 2010) Yes tiger is now endangered like panda, orang utan and our Proboscis monkey.What makes people think that we can take the habitat of animals easily?

Janganlah kamu membuat kerusakan di muka bumi sesudah Allah memperbaikinya (7:85)

:(( editted

Won't blog as much maybe. Its been a bad semester for me. Seriously. I missed a few deadlines, a few test and now presentation. Sigh :(

really feeling upset. So i need to get back on my feet. or atleast try to.

Furthermore, its really upsetting how people would say how i look like a mom or so. or when they say "oh you look so pretty today. slalunya si ________ lagi lawa" I mean i know i am not pretty. I know my body size is not as what every men dream of. I am getting older too everyday. I am overall NOT your dream girl. I GET IT. But atleast i am still a girl and you have to think that it does hurt my feelings a lot to hear that kind of thing.


Just hope that i can get back on my feet, try to pretend to ignore these hurtful words and pretend to smile.

salam.

Be a fan of Unity.

I didn't take a lot of photos this time. this is Special Olympics Asia Pacific Bocce Competition 2010. (the third one in Brunei). It has ended and the next game would probably be sometime next 2/3 yrs. I was a volunteer and an official for the games along with a lot of us too who dedicated our time :) What is special individuals? They are individuals who looked like a normal person but are intellectually disabled or challenged. They may look like a normal person having no disability and you won't know that they are special until they talk to you or asked you questions. And although they are intellectually challenged, their physical ability is sometimes astonishing. People often distinguish them as a separate community.

DON'T. They do not wish to be born like that and they want to be a part of our community. But if you keep on saying "so can they do it? they are.. you know..", how can we unite? Stop saying the word "retard". It a very discriminatory and hurtful word. I know a few friends who stopped saying the R word but turned to like a "special olympics" peson or "special" person when they are mocking someone else.

Its just the same. Stop it. Be a fan of unity.

Disabilities are yet another manifestation of global diversity. Let us always be committed to the fundamental principles of dignity and equality for all human beings. Kofi A. Annan, Secretary-General, United Nations

I do not regret.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-Mark Twain

I was upset that i missed the officials test but in the end they made me linesmen, flagsmen and eventually i became a referee for a few games in Special Olympics Asia Pacific Bocce competition. Though these 3 days of being a court official was tiring and my work that is piling up were not done yet, but i stand by the line above. i do not regret. I met these special athletes from different 4 countries and learnt a lot about them. Most importantly i felt happy when around them. Because they dont have no jealousy no bad intentions. Even when they lost the game, they still smile and raise their hands like a winner.


They are precious :) and it feels happy to work in Special olympics. Hope that there'll be a next time for me in SO, insyaAllah.

:(

Very very upset today though volunteering for health screening in the morning was indeed fun. I missed 2 important things this week but sigh. nvm. trying to tell myself this over and over again

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jad (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui"(Al-Baqarah : 216)

Special olympic starts

Today was packed. We had training for SOAPBC (special olympics asia pacific bocce competition) health screening and we get a tshirt this time too! I was assigned to fit feet. menyukat kaki athletes. Then at night, i had my shift for accomodation committee volunteering at Games village. almost all the special athletes have arrived already and are staying at games village. We had to run around and did a few errands under Ka Tini, the accommodation committee. But despite running up and down the stairs, the experience is indeed valuable. I met Nyssa and Martha both New Zealand special athletes. Perhaps, some of you might know that we call people with some degree of intellectual disability as special. But don't be mistaken, indeed they are intellectually slow, but their physical ability sometimes may surpass ours.

What made my day was when Nyssa said "oh look at those big ants. (burung ujan)" and she started screaming because she was afraid of it. and she started talking about these big gecko in her room which might be female with lots of eggs and she was afraid that the eggs burst and give out many little geckos. My imagination went wild and all when she said that and she shouted "OH NO look at that BIG GECKO. oh my god. they're everywhere. hanging in the ceiling"

and i looked at it- it was a house lizard! pikir ku kah gecko berijap mana. haha cali lah, it was fun to chat with them. and she even gossiped with me about an annoying delegate (not the athletes but the coaches) who demanded so many things. ;p


Full week this week and i am tired but all is worth it and the experience you can't get anywhere. Ss mark twain said,

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-Mark Twain

Future

Next week would be a busy week. Alhamdulillah we don't have plant eco class on 28th Sept so i could attend the special olympics Bocce officiating course, which is free as i had signed up for volunteering as a linesmen for the upcoming Special olympic Asia pacific bocce competition (SOAPBC). Next week will be SO week and my schedule would be:

28th SOAPBC training at CPSS

29th morning SOAPBC training and SOBD at berakas hall and afternoonhealth screening training at ripas sport complex

30th Volunteer for health screening SOAPBC at Ripas sport complex

1st volunteer as linesmen for SOAPBC games and probably night time too

3rd Volunteer as linesmen for SOAPBC games morning and Pusat ehsan charity bazaar afternoon



Interesting yes? I want to be more involved in SO haha maybe one step at a time :)


I have been thinking lately about what i am going to do in the future. a best friend of mine is a bsp scholar, another got an unconditional offer from Brunei insurance agency. and me? hmm my future is still hanging.but i think i kind of made up my mind about things i want to do in the future. I did told a few that i want to do marine as my final project but mangroves seemed interesting as well so its between magroves and marine. But hmm, i am interested in aquaculture and how it can be used as diversification of Brunei's economy.


So there you go. Don't ask me what i want to do anymore. i made up my mind. as of now that is. unless people came up to me with other interesting things haha


Ps- we should really stop saying the word "retard" its quite offensive to those who are intelectually disabled.


Salam.

This deserves a post of its own.

Dr Edwards: What is a species and why is it difficult to define?

A species is the only level in the heirarchy that can be defined. Its not something that humans create and so it has a little reality to it. Genus, Family class and the level below it is not real and depends on taxonomist. Why is it difficult to define? Because species are changing while we are looking at it. It is not static but evolves with time. Something that is a species now may be another species in the future. The other problem is, there are a lot of variation in a species.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

And we spent one whole hour JUST to define a species. HAHAHA. This is one of what i study fyi. Interesting yes?

2/3 more days to eid.

I intended to do many things this ramadhan : Post a mail to Buzz in China and Kak deena in Yala, South Thailand and more. But work caught me. I don't usually look forward to eid at the end of fasting month. But i do this year because i bought heels. =p Furthermore, my next braces appointment is due during the first eid week and now its hurting again. I can't wait till they close the gaps on my teeth. Tutoring form 5 biology has been splendid but the timetable during ramadhan is quite inconvenient.

Two of my friends who went to Pattani South Thai's article was out in the previous weeks. Read Dean's story about his one month volunteering experience and Azimah's too. Apparently they travelled to krabi and various places while being there. Since each of the 16 of us were placed in different schools in South Thai, we had different experiences. and theirs was probably more interesting than my experience since they stayed for full one month.

And its week 6! we're almost half way done through this semester. lalala. and its 10 weeks closer to vacation in December. Still can't decide to join my family throughout their 2 weeks road trip next December, or join my family for a week and then catch up with my friends backpacking in Northern Thailand for another week. Hmm. Haha i haven't gone through any exams yet and here i am thinking about holiday. Atleast its something to look forward to while studying. Travel photos is in my other picture blog. Why do i have 2 blogs? Apparently blogger is convenient to post wordy blogs but tumblr gives an amazing resolution to photos.

atiqahrad.tumblr.com

September activities: EID! Open houses. food and cakes. Special Olympics Brunei volunteering.


2/3 more days to eid. Are you ready to leave ramadhan?

Hear your call.

Just a post to share with you all. You probably know about Pakistan flood disaster. Yes, this is like many others- Katrina, Tsunami, Haiti, China. But i think, the only difference is, its Pakistan, its Ramadhan and most if the victims are celebrating ramadhan in misery. We are truly blessed to celebrate our ramadhan with families and friends and in a very comfortable condition while they are being tested with so many challenges. Now what comes after the flooding? Flood does destroy many things, homes, animals, habitats and etc but after that then what? You have to understand that when a large body of water is still, waterborne disease might spread. Truly there are food shortages and personally i think that would be overcome with the coming of aid from all over the world but what matters the most is the effectiveness of distribution. Regardless of the amount of money donated, if its not distributed properly it would be useless.

Kind of amazing how songs like we are the world for Haiti gets big publicity and this doesn't. Listen to the song by Sami Yusuf- Hear your call.



Taken from his website

Pakistan would face a second wave of deaths from water borne diseases and food shortages unless more aid arrives soon. Please donate by purchasing Sami's latest single 'Hear Your Call' where proceeds will help Save the Children's relief efforts in Pakistan.

Go here to contribute to this cause


Hope Allah keeps their heart strong. And hope all the little "hope" poured by people from all over the world reach the intended destination.

Strong when we're together.

I don't blog about hunger regularly but i kind of feel sad this time knowing that Pakistan is in need for help.Its a muslim country and therefore they do celebrate ramadhan- but this year for them wouldn't be unlike any ramadhan. Its kind of a reminder for muslim to be patient regardless of what trouble comes ahead. Its also a reminder for us Bruneians that Allah has blessed us Bruneians so much just by living in our country though we tend to neglect that fact and keep on spending too much.

What do you do in the afternoon? You went to the stadium or any other gerai ramadhan and buy lots of food? or do you eat out? Either one you chose, there are others who aren't like us. They are stuck in cycle of poverty and lived in hunger. And such hunger can be made worst with natural disasters. After all wars, arguments on the political table, disaster is also a reminder from God almighty that HUMAN is strong when we're together.

Afshan, a 9-day-old baby girl born at a clinic supported by Save the Children in Pakistan's Swat Valley. The baby has an umbilical cord infection and is also suffering from insect bites, the lack of clean water and unhygienic conditions have exasperated both problems.

© Jason Tanner

Donate to WFP

or Brunei Pakistan Humanitarian fund.

(and i feel so weak as blogging and tweeting is as much as i could do to help) Salam.

Unite.

Spend (on charity), O son of Adam, and I shall spend on you. (Hadith Qudsi)

We Bruneians seem to be very busy about Zek to even discuss about such matter such as pakistan flood. While we are enjoying our food and various sungkai dishes, some of our fellow muslims in Pakistan are not as privilage as we are this ramadhan. Even if we aren't of the same race or religion- we all are still human. So even if its a little- lets help our fellow human.


Happy Ramadhan All.

Out of my comfort zone.

My article about my South Thailand community work trip went out last monday. And with all the comments i received, i am actually pleased that the article (though very informal as it was written) was accepted by readers. Even if its just a tiny population out of the whole Brunei and i may not have made news as the prince of the earth (Zek) had, but i am glad that i have atleast made an impact in someone's perspective by sharing my story and my thoughts.

A week in Yala, knowledge of a lifetime by myself.

I should make this my goal- inspire atleast someone in a month. That way, life won't be wasted wouldn't it? Hmm just too bad i am not made a leader. I'd like to think my self as that. I am made a traveller- born to wander, meet people, see places, to forget and be forgotten and play around. I am not one to commit myself entirely to a set of population or one matter just as many leader are doing. Take for instance Iswandy. His dedication to BDAC and youths- i salute but i will not follow.

I do not want to follow in any footsteps- i want to make my own. Maybe in a way less-inspiring or committed than most others but atleast i know that i have lived my life happily. Week 3 is ending and i hope i can achieve my goal this semester and have a great travel at the end of it. =D And i hope i can atleast help one of my student get a B in his olevels and the 4 others a passing mark. Trying really really hard to make biology an easy subject.

Salam.

A new sun.

In response to Linji's blogpost which you can find here Here is a summary of my semester holiday:

Went to Singapore for 2 days and KL for 2 days, backpacking with Fikriyah and met Aloysius and a new friend in KL.

My grandfather passed away five days after my Singapore/KL trip and 5 days before my next community work trip. May God bless his soul. Prepared english material and other stuff for Thailand community work. Went to Yala, Southern Thailand, through Kedah fearing that i would experience bombings there but i didn't and we all went home safely Alhamdulillah.

Taught in Tamvittaya Multini school, the largest sekolah pondok in Southern Thailand. I met kind people and gained valuable knowledge. Plus: i've been to south Thailand myself- the region being portrayed by media as a dangerous conflicted area. Then, i took a bus from Hatyai to KL alone and met Kak Sofia along the way who brought me to her house (because its dangerous for a girl to be alone at 4am in KL)

Took airasia to Jakarta and met the BJBJ gang. Went to BALI for an awesome holiday. Saw wild dolphins at lovina beach! I have videos of this but i guess i'll post it later. Shopping at Bandung and went to historical Jogjakarta by economy class train. Spent the last few days in Jakarta- met agnes monica!

learnt surfing =D

At paris van java, Bandung

Watching marcell and glenn and FRAU live in a Charity concert in Jogja!

Met Rya- my childhood friend whom i have not met in 10 years!

Went back home and start doing Thailand report and journal. Went to KK with 5 biosci friends!

Otw to manukan

Back home finished report and a 10,100++ fucking words journal. (i impress myself sometimes) 4 kittens almost got blind due to feline chlamydiosis- eye infection. Brought kittens twice a day to the vet for eye drops praying they wouldn't go completely blind. School. Fewh. Start school. Kittens recovering. But another cat got sick- Feline viral tracheitis. I officially hate those little things called virus.




May Semester 5 be an awesome one. And i too have booked a ticket for more travel this end of year. Travelling is still what i am made of. .Salam

Aku mau cuti lagi and gigiku sakit

Hi. I am back from KK and i need to finish my report/Journal about Thailand community work and and and i will TRY to post pictures of my travels on facebook if i;m not too lazy.

AND my jaw and teeth feels sangal. I don't know why maybe its because of the new arrangement of teeth or that my teeth move too much that i have gaps! =/

Look! There's the gap which i previously do not have. If the gap is between the incisors i won't mind, atleast i'd still look like madonna. BUT i don't. can't wait for the next appointment (next week) pasal sangal jaw ku. It feels like its about to fall off if i open my mouth to big.

And it looks like there's going to be a comback for SPECIAL OLYMPICS BRUNEI. talk soon after he replies or the event is confirmed bla bla. tho its at the end of september.

look who we bumped into at senayan city.

Oh yeah. did i mention we took pictures with AGNES MONICA at senayan city? We were mall-ing when she went to the ladies room. Ada orang kesanggupan nunggu dapan jamban and so tarus mengambil gambar with her after she went out of the ladies.

Yeah i cropped the others out of the picture =p

Assalamualaikum

...and that's the common 'hello' for you in Southern Thailand.

For a friend who can't access Facebook in the country she's in. Haha. The quality isn't as good and the photos i've uploaded aren't everything i have so maybe some might be uploaded into my tumblr atiqahrad.tumblr.com (apparently tumblr makes a good photoblog)

Can't say much about my volunteer work in the polictically unstable region of Yala, South Thai. I went back very early from that place for another trip to Indonesia. We went to Songkhla province from kedah or Bukit Kayu Hitam immigration post. unexpected things happened on the way to Kl and Kedah for example our 2 hour flight to KL turns to a 5 hour trip as the plane had to detour due to bad weather. Dugaan kali. Anyway, i was in a group that goes to Yala province, while the others went to Pattani.

Bukit Kayu Hitam

Gate to Kedah Sultan's palace.

First lunch we had in South Thai (and more in the following days there)





Pattani Central Mosque at night.


I was placed in Tamvittaya multini school, apprently the largest school in Southern Thailand. In the morning, they study religious subjects including Arabic and malay language. And in the afternoon they learn what they call "academic" subjects such as English, Thai language, sciences, arts subjects. One aspect i love about that place is that they practice the ukhwah environment. I just knew these students and the next day they greet me even when i'm in the streets.







View from our apartment in the Yala Islamic university hostel.



Awesome friends!

The day before my flight to Indonesia, i took a bus from Hatyai. While there, we were brought to places in Songkhla province: the samila beach and Tang Kuan Hill. The mermaid statue at the Samila beach holds a legend. Legend says that there was once a guy who fell in love with a mermaid and left her. The mermaid sat on the rock at the beach and cried "samila" which means "husband go" until she died. Hence, the name.






The famous mermaid statue.



View from Tang Kuan Hill.



Royal pavilion


The legend of Tang Kuan Hill goes like this: There was once a cat, mouse and dog travelling on a chinese ship and they try to steal a crystal. While swimming to the shore, the cat and the mouse drowned with the crystal and became two islands and sandy beaches. While the dog reached the shore and died to become Tang Kuan Hill. impossible story. But that's why they call it a legend.




Hatyai.

In Hatyai, i met an amazing family from pattani which took me to their care.I arrived at 4am in KL and that is a dangerous hour for a girl to be alone. They brought me to their daughter's rent house in Cyberjaya and took care of me until i went to kl central by train.

There were a few difficulties i encountered during the whole trip such as the strong islamic culture and not going out at night but hmm, i met kind people and they have helped me go through those times. Southern Thailand, despite what the media says, has a lot of kind people and i was treated very very well there. It makes you forget the instability that media is trying to promote. Islam has indeed brought harmony to the community in south thailand.


Maybe someday i'll go back to that place and learn to be a harmonious person. Now, i don't tihink i'm ready yet. Will blog about Indonesia trip to Bali, Bandung, Jogja and jakarta some other time.

Espana

I don't actually intend to put this in a blog but i am so happy right now.

Spain is in the finals finally! Octopus or not, i support spain all the way. Haha well i actually had pictures of Spain-German UEFA finals in my old blog but haha since i deleted that blog so.. This FIFA Spain-German semi final is also a goog game though. Anyways, of the players, i support Casillas the most. haha i don't know why but its been that way since skulah ugama dulu masa sanggup meliat japan/korea world cup and skip class. you've got to admit it, he's been building up quite a reputation. HAHA and my brother is annoyed with casillas haha because he supports german.


In summary, aku sangat gembira. Win or lose in the final, i don't care. Asal masuk final. Asal aku masih liat casillas main Okay. Salam

Travelling doesn't mean you have to be rich

Yes i am back from an amazing trip in Indonesia which actually starts with southern Thailand.

You know the word travelling is always associated with the following sentence "kaya ko ani. you got money wah to spend" It doesn't have to be! true i spent a lot this time but honestly, i've been saving up since last year. I told a few people how much i've been saving up every month and its actually more than 70% of my allowance everymonth. I've still got my $58 transport allowances and my salary for daily living. I don't shop for clothes or unecessary stuff which i have already. Well i do spend a handsome amount of food and dvd. Travelling doesn;t mean you're rich but it means you love it. thats why you are willing to put every penny into a must-not touch account. and when you travel, make the most out of it. because its your money that you spend. That's why when i travel i feel soo upset if we can't make the most out of it or travel and see new places.

you live only once and the world is a big place to discover. You can't go to the same place everytime. And on a side note, you know how scary the air asia landing is? landing and take offs- always reminds me of my temporary life in this world and how i have not made the most of it.


My savings -tabung bejaur- for this trip is thinning. Its time for a new tabung. Tabung scuba diving lah ;D or maybe should start my tabung UK soon sal i should go there while my friends are still there. but i am short of money seriously. May it shower money tomorrow.

Salam.

Bali

It has been an interesting experience. I have no time to explain perhaps i will upload some pictures by the end of this trip. Internet connection has been difficult for me in Yala, South Thailand. and the ride from Hatyai to Kl and KL to jakarta had tested my patienc (delays. hmm airasia indonesia has problems in keeping on time)

Currently in Kuta Bali. Hope to actually see more attractions here since its not always that i go to Bali. First impression honestly, Bali is like a beautiful island raped by globalisation. Sometimes i think its beauty has been taken away by tourism. haha nevertheless the beaches are lovely.

Hope results would turn out fine amin.

Yala South Thailand

Reached here last saturday.

A place in the sun, we're going.

"Ya Allah, jagalah kami dengan mata-Mu yang tidak pernah tidur dan lindungilah kami dengan lindungan-Mu yang tidak pernah habis. Kasihanilah kami dengan kekuasaan-Mu terhadap kami, dan janganlah kami hancur sedangkan Engkau adalah harapan kami."


Flying to KL and through kedah to south Thailand for community work. And then Indonesia (Bali, bandung jogja jakarta) for vacation. Pray for our safety. Loves. Salam

Nini Nonol.

So here's the story. Sunday: Went to volunteer for Ripas charity Carnival AT 7.30am till 2.30pm+. Slept till evening due to my medications. Nini went to hospital by ambulance. (not the first time) We all went hospital and kissed him. Passed at half past midnight. (monday)

That's just how my sunday goes. The most common thing said to me yesterday was "bek jua ya meninggal before ika belayar/lapas balik belayar". my next trip for community work (hopefully jadi) is this friday actually. Then sambung to Indonesia and i'll be back almost a month later. That's what they have been saying. I haven't packed or anything like that nor is there time to do so at this point. Although everyone is willing about his passing as he has been ill for so long, i kind of feel that the house is a little quiet without his normal coughing in the living room. I wished i could have been a better grandchild.


Nevertheless, passed yet another great man in our lives. When he still could walk his favourite meal was maggi and he filled the quietness with verses of Quran. He would read verses when we were sick and blow them to our forehead until we healed. When he was paralysed, he filled the quietness with coughing and wheezing. May Allah bless him with eternal happiness on the other side. Amin.


Al fatihah

4 days in enough to strengthen friendship and form new ones.

Like i said, i just decided last minute to join my friend fikriyah from Indonesia. We stayed at a backpacker hostel ABC backpackers at Jala Kubor (near bugis area) for just $21 pernight. cheap right? plus the toilets clean and internet is free. Love that place. With only under $200 we went jalan-jalan to free places. haha so NO universal studios or the new casino or singapore flyer. Went for the first time to China town,ittle india, botanic garden (where aloysius from spore has his internship) and Marina barrage. Aloysius was awesome, he was kind enough to bring us everywhere till late night. had so much fun even for such short visit.

And the view was GOOD. we spent sunset at marina barrage looking at this view. So money spent!

China town in Singapore where the stuffs are cheap. and thats the tourist attraction the million-dollar worth of temple. Aloy told me that they spent million dollars to built that temple for tourist to see. but he feels that the authenticity and the value of the temple has been lost due to its purpose as mostly for tourist attraction.

Then we were off to Johor bahru late actually so we didn't get to see around JB so we took bus to KL which arrived at 1am. Hoai's friend, Kak Syafinie pick us up at Bukit jalil and we stayed at her place at Serdang for that 2 nights. They're very very kind! her friends, Kak haley and kan nani brought us around university putra malaysia campus since they are UPM grad student doing masters in Forestry/ agriculture etc. and then to putrajaya. never thought its a nice place.

At putrajaya. it was windy and gloomy. but we managed to run around and take pictures before the heavy rain.

And the next day to KL.

and home. just short visit but did saw new places and learn new things.Plus i got my backpack for trip to indonesia soon. And i am staring to replace my tuition clases for this june- one month class into two weeks! Tmorrow will have briefing for RIPAS charity carnival and the charity carnival will happen on 6th june and saturday will have a teaching crash course for our community work at a place which has some instability. hopefully we'll be going (if ubd gave green light. so far its sill yellow) and 8th will have party organised by Thai embassy for our hardwork and passion in somtam dance during the culture week =ppp HAHA. and 11th will be off to malaysia and alor setar. Hmm I just realise i have so many things to do this time round and so little time. btw i have a picture blog. possibly making it my travel blog too. its still new but pictures are worth thousand words. and Tumblr is really good for uploading pics. seriously its awesome for picture

atiqahrad.tumblr.com

See you next time. Pray for our safety. as of now (if this thing is going to happen and uni has given green light) i would be posted at a place where bomb has recently exploded haha but nevertheless just have to be careful. don't worry. I don't want to be someone who is forever sheltered in our little abode of peace. If we're always afraid, we can never experience so i'm taking this chance to learn more and to be a person more than i am now.

Salam

attention Bazilah Zahari.

happy gawai. haha. Happy Birthday!! 21st?? uh ohh. hehe. kan msg u but my sim is hotlink sim abis contact number ku arh easi ku. but Happy birthday and may Allah bless you with happiness.

So smile and everything will be fine.


Love Atiqah rad.

Roar.

Had to pull a few strings, faces and money before reaching singapore. Had to land in KL even before reaching singapore =// Its 3 days holiday for Brunei and everyone (i assumed everyone since all flights are full and brunei has only 400000 people)is going out of the country. and now i am here at ABC backpackers at jalan Kubor. The shower's clean, the breakfast is free and internet is free. all is worth it for $21 per night. Loving this place. Yes i'm saving up for indonesia so my intentions in singapore are purely for jalan jalan.

When should i go back home ah? haven't decided yet,.

A jewel we so often neglect and undervalue.

A ten days of memories. I miss ASEM. And this video really gave that ASEM biodiversity workshop feel. Miss doing the things with them and listen to things related to biodiversity of brunei. I've been emailing them and keeping update and some of them has continued their phd (especially the two chinese) some are continuing masters in solar energy,politics and etc. Sometimes it made me feel like "so where does that leave me?" haha honestly i am not a very dicsciplined biologist. I don't read books that often. I have my own way to deal with things. i play alot. Not a good thing but i hope this is the path i shall continue till the end and i hope i will not regret it. for it has been enjoyable so far.







Tho i will go to Kuala belalong field centre again at the end of my third year with my awesome course mates this time. Looking forward to it! they're crazy fun. You just can't imagine. haha. Exam finished in just 6 days. I HOPE i will pass all of my subjects this time and get an okay grade AMIN. I am very not confident.

This past few days after the exam, we've becamse research assistants helping Fandi's sis collect data for her PHD research. Quite enlightening. We gained insight on the plight of Brunei fishing resources. we always talk about tunas in Japan and whales. But infact, our own coasts is being depleted of resources. Most had complained that some commercial trawlers are "mengikis" the coast of fishes and that in their 20-60 years of fishing experience, the number of fish caught has a huge decrease since then.


And yet when people start talking about plastics, forest, energy they think they're being Green and environmental. Think again. There are more to environmental sustanaibility than just using plastic (for a day) or asking people to save energy.

Brunei is more than just oil and gas.

Bandar Seri Begawan - Brunei has the potential to become a model country with regards to disability development and to achieve this, the country just needs community-based policies in place as well as facilitation and implementation."I thought that Brunei's main resource is oil but I found a resource that is bigger - the cornmunity and the family," said Akiie Ninomiya, the executive director of Asia-Pacific Development Centre on Disability (APCD) which is based in Bangkok, Thailand.

Read more here.

Last week i went to Animal shelter charity bazaar and in one booth they sold paintings. I adore paintings and have quite a collection hanging in my small room. Haha But these paintings sold in the bazaar are rather special. Because it was painted by Orphaned/disabled children of Cambodia. The association is called Orphan and disabled arts association and currently houses around 20+ orphans in Siem Riep Cambodia. It was founded by Leng Touch, also an orphan and an accomplished artist. He passed his knowledge to these kids and these kids and with this knowledge and aqcuired talent, they sell paintings. These money from the paintings support them, hence they do not need to beg. Some of the postcard sized paintings are only sold for 1US which is around 1.50 BND .I find it amazing.

I attended a public lecture on Poverty in Brunei last few weeks (which is a part of the Poverty Project UVC is doing) and a lecturer have said that "We need to be cruel to be kind, not kind to be kind". Interestingly, Bruneians have always been kind to be kind, giving gifts without anything in return. But maybe if we can incorporate this "cruelty" and help those who only wished to help themselves out of poverty cycle/miserable situation, it'd be better. This is what ODA is doing. Children have to learn to do it on their own, feel miserable while studying but in the end, this acquired knowledge is what that can bring them out of their situation and rebuilt lives.

http://orphansdisabledcambodia.org/

As Akiie Nomiya has said, we have the potential to use our Community network. Why not use it to motivate the underprevilage in Brunei (regardless whether it is for disability or poverty)?

Just a thought. Its exam week and i am thinking things which are exam-non-related. LOL Struggling to keep up with exams. The past papers are terrible but nvm. I wish there is some miracle that can lift my geo and math marks. I hope i can pass all and get a better result than last sem though. AMIN. last sem's result was aweful.

exam heat

The pressure of getting a passing grade and excellent grade is upon us.

And i've been thinking, when i tot hassanal's hair is hotness, Safwan of UBDFM hair is more! like punk rock style, i dig it. Hahaha now for the 3 month hols i want to "change" hahahahaha. in other words, i suppress my self in school, doesn't mean i can't have fun when i am not in school. SOOO. I have been suggested to shave numbur 1. like wat daaaa. AS plang banar. hmm liat la. i love my hair but maybe its time for change. tapi aku malas beusai wah selalu which makes it difficult for me to style up my hair.


Hyper.

Talent underappreciated.

Honestly, hmm i am not a fan of theatric songs sang in a softer tone (as what Teatro has done. It just sounds very odd and i just dislike it in general. Stephen rahman-hughes has great talent. Too bad, he's not done much in UK other than the super successful puteri gunung ledang muscial in Malaysia. If you google his name, not much will come out. Even wiki would not tell much about his details. He's got a great manly voice which i think would be my pick of a hero in any musicals. I think, his talents are under appreciated.




Wish he'd do more theater. So more would recognise such talent. Even in PGL, some comments mentioned of how un-malay he was to play hang tuah because of his looks and even he's name says so. hey, close you're eyes, and listen to the music. He's not stephen in the play, he's hang tuah. No wonder people missed out on such talent, they do not know how to appreciate roles.




Somewhat somewhere, when he sings malay songs, he sounds very lelaki-melayu.



He's still my best singing hang tuah.

Work hard, Play hard.

3 weeks to exam! And hopefully everything in may june july will go well. just got great news for june, something to compensate for bad news for july. But honestly, i really want to be in this. i mean the one for early june. If this thing is confirmed, UVC will have a representative to that activity right =) I realllly want to be in this. Hopefully it will go well, hopefully sampai lah kesana and ke sana in june. AMIN.

But not to forget. Hopefully my exam will go better than previous semesters too so i can get a better result than last semester. And may we all pass with good grades with no supps. AMIN. Let our holiday worth the effort we put into exam. Because this is our last happy-fun-go-crazy-3-months holiday. Next year tani ke Temburong for field ecology 2 and also start buat final project. =//


Test test test test test test test test test. Back to education. salam.








and lastly, old proverbs still do work: bersakit sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian.

I don't want to go without leaving a trace.

Trying to be on hiatus. failed. Haha. I saw pictures from Asuka facebook and saw this pretty sakura. Sigh. Totemo kirei. i want to go to japan. But japan is very expensive and at the moment, i might resort to selling bulu =p

This picture was taken By Asuka Fukutome of Kyoto University but this was at Nara, her home towm. totemo kirei desu ne. She told me that its the first time in decades that sakura was blooming while it was snowing. Now you see how huge climate change can affect us? She also told me that she's now a master student. Just few days ago Shin from Philipines told me she will be doing masters in politics but she wants to work in France since she speaks the language well. Marian from Davao seems to be graduating soon too. Hoai from vietnam will be presenting her thesis in Malaysia this July. And I saw from facebook, ginny from UK will be doing her PHD. Everyone from ASEM knows what they want to do.

And i? I am still struggling to finish year 2 and there is 2 years more. Yet, i still do not know which area to go to. Well i do have two in mind. I am confused. Nevertheless, here's my activity so far.

The start of Poverty Project distribution to KG ayer with Fbeps team, UVC volunteers, HEP people and BIBD people. Hmm somehow after a few houses i've visited, it is quite an eye opener.

Microbiology. melihara bacteria. LOL. Sakit mata ku mengira!

trip to Perikanan. NAIK BOAT siuuuuk

Kena bagi hadiah from an officer from Prince of Songkla university masa Thai culture week. Kesian! and had FUN in thai culture week

Second distribution to Tutong. Durang ani ke lumapas ne.

"concentrating" in Brunei Agriculture research centre YESTERDAY.

and i found a really nice website. www.somaly.org on the Somaly Mam Foundation. So who is somaly mam? She's actually a cambodian who was born in poverty and was sold as sex slave by someone who posed as her grandfather. She was constantly forced for sex and one night she was made to see her best friend murdered. Starting from this, she tried and succeeded in breaking free from the trade and now she's helping other girls who had the same fate as she had. She has a twitter too btw. Its quite interesting to see how dedicated she is.






"I don't want to go without leaving a trace."- Somaly mam.


I am sure we too.