Dumping thoughts.

It occurred to me....its been a while since i sing. But every time they put on the music, I just feel like dancing. I laughed and i laughed because i don't want to cry about petty things. However, those petty things are small because i made my mind to think that its just a small matter. But what are we going to do? Sometimes what the mind made us think is not the same as what the heart has to say... hmm. It feels awful and yet, i must not whine. It feels painful and yet i must smile. The brain can tell us what to do or how to act but we can't lie to ourselves.


Its been a while since i sing. It does hurt a little.


On another note, while i do think the talk on Ulum-adin is an excellent effort to enforce religious sense in all of us, i still think you cannot force someone to do those things. It must come from the heart and i believe in everyone of us, we all are fighting the demons within us. You cannot judge a person religious-wise. I've been told, "itu urusan dia dengan tuhan. Sedangkan pelacur yang memberi makan seekor anjing lagi masuk ke dalam syurga". We only judge a person from what we can see, what they say and what they do. But can you see prayers? No, definitely not. Only the Al-mighty can. I am not religious, i would agree on that. I made and make countless of mistakes and i acknowledge that. And i know some of us will feel or have done the same too because we're still human. But whether i/you/we ...are good or bad, its not anyone else to decide but only Him. I know its a difficult step to take especially for me but i cannot do this alone... lets just stop judging.


And on another different note (or maybe same), i do get the feelings sometime that some people think of me as a bad person. I am undisciplined, i know. But i never said i am a good person. If you think i've changed, its because i am just like this but you never really get to see this side of me. Its just so easy to lose your way round. I am trying my best, but are you trying your best too to know and accept me for who i am?

hmm. I don't know what to say anymore. I feel so tired. Its just so tiring.

I need a dance because this heart is beating... slow.