You make em good girls gone wild.

First of all. Just now, when i was finishing up my report for plant phylo, and at the same time NOT yet read anything for plant phylo test, i kept on saying "5% gone so easily. In the dustbin" WASTED. Yes 20% is practicals which i always messed up. 10% are the tests which include the one i had just now. Yes. that 5% of overall marks is gone just like that.

"We need to step up our game" I said to someone.

Because we're so far behind. Aigoo. I just saw a picture of dissected rat. And we're also going to start with dissection of shark, lizard and so on. It made me think, what have i gotten myself into?

Help me step up my game too. =((

Wednesday child.

Monday's child is fair of face;
Tuesday's child is full of grace;
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go;
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living;
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day,Is bonny, and blithe, and good, and gay.

Nursery rhyme.

I think i've mentioned it before. Long time ago i found out in what day i was born. Its mentioned that wednesday child is full of woe and a list of other things. I don't like it. The time i knew about that was the time i had to endure a string of problems in my life. One matter after the other. From quarrel to abuse to seeing police in and out the house trying to handle the matter. From seeing her being betrayed over and over to losing my family to the passing of someone that broke me totally. It goes on. Even until now. I know its just a nursery rhyme but from the nursery rhymes only wednesday child are full of woe. I hated it.

We built our lives only after sometime to be where we are now. Its not much but it was better than before. I know it never shows because some people mocked me saying that my stuffs are always expensive or something like that. I know some of my friends are trying to make ends meet while i have my holidays in far far places. I had a hard time too but yours just started a lot later than mine. I enjoy the finer things in life but i saved something more valuable than money if you can think of what it is.

On another note:

Sorority sisters FB has a new look. But lagging loading nya ah!

Paint blue.

One of the places that i love to go is Delifrance. My favourite would be the traditional breakfast, smoked salmon sandwich and our all time, the croissant. Makes me miss Gandin tahap french kiss (not to the point of BJ because i don't want to steal your lime light bj) With just the word 'Aku makan delifrance', someone tadi terus keluar beech nya haha. hahahaha. jeles. That made my day. Actually what made my night was the short conversation with him (someone) which ends with:



salam

cium2

Paluk2

saluk2

malam.



and org (some other) yg cakap "okay ko bro?"



Melayan brabis. As if the sky is still brighter than it seems, but i have to say, they paint blue to my sky that night. refreshing.



I talked on the phone with someone (the only one i would call by land line or recieve call). When ya cakap, "sapa sayang mu ani? si ani ka?" and aku jawab "eh bukan ani bukan ani. banyak kali ah sayangku" and ya reply, "awu ah, aku paham tu, scandalous" i just realise how scandalous it might seem to people. I sayang the people who treats me kindly. One would get my time at work and we joked. One would fetch and mengupi or go jalan2 shopping. Another would kidnap in the middle of the night makan pasar malam. One would punch me with a one liner and make me laugh. And when we're down, they would ask "are you okay?". Walau bebulan inda bejumpa, one would reply "megapa ehh?? reply eh??" as if something really bad has happened. Even if the words can't lift everything, but atleast, knowing that they have the heart to even ask how we're holding on, lifts the burden a bit. They are my sayang (s)

Random berabis.


On another note- even if we are different, one thing remains- our friendship (Tiqah, 2009)

On another note- susunya mikin basar (shaqqy, 2009)

On another another note- aku inda sabar kan skulah balik. (Hafiz T, 2009)

On another nota yang random, they've changed and I have changed. So, why bother caring. Just blend in. (farhanah, 2009)

On another note- aaaahhh~ mnmmmm~ creme bruleeee~ aaahhhh~~(Birah, 2009)



Bah i ciao. Main pet society. BTW don't forget! esok RAMBO BIRTHDAY. Parteh arh rumah nya dari 7 malam hingga 5 pagi. Type of event - educational, study group =p

Salam.

I can taste the love

Alangkah bahagianya jika esok pagi...

If i wake up to his creme brulee. =p

Or anybody else can do. Aku single ah.. to lelaki yg pandai masak HAHAHA (promosi.) when someone bakes creme brulee, he definitely gained points from me, but when he takes cooking as a choice for career.. wowowowww. Bukan lagi points dia dapat, kalau dia mau i terus pun boleeeh. =p

Wishful thinking. But people. I had my first creme brulee at UBD today and it will certainly last in my mouth forever (esmosi). Next time there is a come2gether bakesale again, try it- its definitely worth the money. Tarus angau lagi makan creme brulee. Why? Because according to sahlan, anyone can bake. Tapi baking with love tah yang payah tu. But i assure you, i can taste the love in the cakes.

And thanks to org yg macm slalukan tani besayang arh msn atu (aka bisnis partner ku) =p org ganya inda tau ah. ahhahaha. On another note, hadri is leaving for Korea tomorrow and i sedih hahaha. kerinduan ku sudah. Awu sedih ku org tmpat ku mengusut (oprah ku) kan blayar ah. Aigoo. Hadri shi... bwa ku lelaki korea ah. Hansem ah. hahaha.

I want creme bruleee.

Baked with love.

Alangkah indahnya jika esok pagi...I woke up and he (whoever he is) baked me an apple pie and said, "baked with love". He, who understands me, supports me no matter what...inda paksa aku untuk masak, instead ya yg baking with love.

Alangkah bahagianya jika esok pagi jika dia, my lelaki idaman really exist.


To you. Thanks for listening what i had to let out yesterday. It was raining. But anyway. Thank you for terus mendengar angan2 ku pasal kehidupan and it all started with "alangkah bahagianya jika esok pagi.." I know panjang macam wayang and perhaps impossible, but manatau.. makbul tia ahahha Amin.I know its out of the world and not many people would even imagine about doing so. However, in between those hopelessly romantic fantasy and impossibly supportive and faithful man, who would follow me even to the coldest place on earth, you could see my true aspirations, what i really want to do in my life. Its big.... so big i don't even know if i can achieve some of it. So i hope you'd keep it with you until i can achieve what i angan2 for. There are somethings, i keep to myself. I guess those are the things that may change the way you see me but nevertheless, i am still here. I stayed. I hope others can see that.



Salam.

Alangkah bahagianya jika esok pagi...

I woke up finding myself on a sailing ship. The sun rays hit my face as i went out. The sky was blue and the clouds seemed smiling at me. And at the far end or the ship..there's a guy, with tshirt and short pants on ( i would prefer if there is nothing on..but hey. that's just showing off). With a morning greet and a steamed fish that he cooked himself, i start my day. What happened during the rest of the day? well, it shall b spontaneous.. as we sail into the unknown waters.

Sasat jalan tapi bahagia =p



I like ships and water...if you notice. I really go love ships. Hehe. Someone told me when we were at the royal regalia, looking at ship models: you like freedom. I do. I like the feeling when we look into the waters, not knowing what's on the other side. I like the feeling when the breeze hits my face and the sky seemed to be the only roof i have.

wouldn't it be nice.. to just sail away?

My brooch.

Its normal to feel bad when you can't find one or two of the crystals in your brooch. Or when it changes colour that its not as shiny as it used to be. As much as we want to protect it, use cutex or whatever to stick it, if you can't find it, you can't. You can't, if it doesn't want you to find it. No matter how much you try to not look at the brooch, no matter how much you try to ignore the lost pieces, you just can't really do so.



Because when you lost those tiny tiny parts parts, you lost the beauty of the whole thing.



Like life, you tend to lose yourself when you're losing the things that makes you, you. It just feels bad when you know nothing about everything- when people never told you stories you want to hear. But life goes on....buy a new brooch. Even when its not the same- or so they would say. And i would answer: even if you got a new brooch, can you totally forget the old one? Can life really go on?



Its funny how you would think that all i said is lost is related to things you assume i meant. Hmm. how shallow can the human mind go? Because i consider even the tiniest detail to be a part i treasure. Even the smallest of crystals.



...





Nevertheless. Life is good. Though university works, being scolded and practicals and all sucks life out of you, its actually quite fun. Life is good. Just lonely. My brothers are off to Perth with the cousins tonight.

We can't see but we don't see.

My cousin Lina posted this in her blog:

her random thought: "Why should the clothes one wears matter more than the person wearing them?"

My random answer: because while we claim can see, we don't see. Each and every one of us are blind men, blinded by faux beauty.

It has been that way long before we know it. And most people in our society are trying their best to wear the best that they forgot about trying to be a force of change in this perspective.


my answers can reach up to a thousand page (you know how i am best at talking and thinking random bullshits and unnecessary things when i am supposed to revise my math) but its early in the morning and i have Rookies special and hana kimi (i.e shun oguri) special to watch this morning before three classes straight. While doing that i am also revising.....my japanese =p Its been a while since i touched it i need to brush it up before i lose all those hiragana in my mind to le francais. Noticed i used a word which has a common synonym but instead i chose that...again, i have my reasons.. and try to think about that. =)

good day.salam.

ps- YES AMAL i have rookies special. Aniya is mine =p ahhahaha

French kiss.

warning: PG 18 post.

AND yeah amazingly (i don't know how but just let it be) i got an A for french and a lower grade for english. That makes me better in french than in english won't it =p SO now... who wants lesson on french kissing? you'll need cherries for the lessons and you're very own leonardo dicaprio/ cunxi/ dylan (don't take mine =p) orrr you can take BEN. he's available for french kissing lessons. =p and Byl can teach you the BJ (billah's job)

sorry for no updates again. i want to finish my craftwork yataaah i have not been online at all. besides we've been all around the place searching for materials for my brother's CIPTA presentation. And the car hits 10000 km mark last week and had its third servicing. Sad to see that the number will increase and its not exactly new anymore. bangas tia dah bau cina nya kerita ku a.

AND i will not be taking french anymore because i can't. My units are full. Bah. so i am upset because there is no language course. No more gandin and his gatal looks.

i get it byl!!

i am now in cd #5 o crapp. Now i get it. from post it girl she became elaine. similarities? the smile?

aduii. kasihan cerita ini eh. d shanghai lagi. tempat yang menyebabkan kami semua demam mengirup udara inda bersih. and i can see the shape of dylan's packs underneath that shirt =D buuuuut. hmm i am still touched with cun xi. (apakan becerita macam orang banar saja) god i feel so pathetic speaking about fictional characters. i should make myself a wishing box too.


I wish i would find someone who loves me and i love him back. (partial plagiarism. only translated. sue me =p)


maybe i should get myself a new name too (plagiarism overdose) bah start thinking of a new name for me.

Needs.

Happy aidiladha peeps.

I am thinking about stuffs. Random.

I am still thinking about getting a dst line or not since sms dri sayang-sayang ku di UK inda sampai kan. sasak i. Manatau sanang i bedating nanti pakai line dst =p hahaha Btw mcm kena pakai2 link blog ku ani. apa tu ada forex apa usin apa ah arh tag ku. Tak pa tak pa. I maafkan.

And i am still thinking of getting a ipod or not. I mean i CAN abuse my brother's one easily but he is mostly into rock and hiphop stuff and i listen to a diversity of music genres- including my shinee. ahah. and he always says, 'mana ipod apek? mana ipod apek' inda jua sanang tu mendangar.

Since i am in serious need to save some for some foreign dollars, not that i will spend a lot there ...i hope. haha but for souvenirs for me for you ..you know me =p.

I still need to look for a luggage since all the small luggages we have are unusable anymore and we're planning to bring one-bag-each this time. Besides, paying on my own makes the bag mine and its also for (incase) next year. to where? =p Aha. My destinations are never confirm due to some reason which i will tell when i am in the mood (just a hint: i planned a trip to langkawi and i got diverted and that was the time when tsunami hit. And after a few months of saying to mum "lets save up and go to india" and mumbai's hotel went under flames... and many more) So yeah. I am yet to find a bag and mum adviced a big one so that 'kalau ika kan lawat durang zirah and ridha d uk sanang bawa satu bag saja' haha =p but we'll see. If i am draining my cash pool on food and movies like what i am doing now, i won't have enough for far visits. But who knows maybe i might blog from the other side of the world without you even knowing i went there.

So that would explain the pink jacket mum bought me for my brithday. Usually its just dinner and movies or (plus) swatch but i guess some far trips might be possible. Actually i am not too keen on looking for one but i couldn't find anyone who i can borrow from. But i actually like this jacket even though my brother said i look like a begedil-bejalan in it. The others make me look like an esbok-bejalan or anak ____homeless (again courtesy of my bro)

And then there is the belanja some people because i said so last time.

Hmm thermal socks, jeans and leggings too because some city near the sea might have freezing winds. And gloves which i will buy in that small island country. (apakan) Yatah.. lain kali durang ani cita cita ke india saja. Ke egypt kah. I won't have to bother about thermal wear. hahah. udah nyangku lakastah ke kalimantan lawat maci (our former amah). nada org minat =p

And then there is twilight. Which will cost me $7 *(karit) but i still want to join.

and. Wait. I lost track of what i need to do and buy. Hmmm bah bila g escapading/koryo-ing? =p

FLEXIBILITY.

When i can remember that humans are spatial actors.. why can't i remember what is space?

hmm. so the tagboard is not for 'chatting' awwh... i was just starting to have some fun with si barak. hahahaha. gila hahaha baik jua nick name ku buat sna. inda jua di kenali. haha.

and some of the 20 good reasons to date a squash player (as posted by the ubd squash club):

-we like it hard and fast against the wall.

-after 90 seconds we're ready to do it again.

-we're used to performing with minimal amounts of clothing.

-we're always open to new moves and positions.

-we like being video taped to improve ourselves.

-we hit from any angle.

-one word: flexibility.

this advert by the squash club posted everywhere around the campus got us... interested /kirai. haha. squash has never sound this interesting. and there is 20 good reasons and i'm to lazy to type everything. Okay one more: we show off our legs.

and another one (last one): we enjoy doing hard things.

interesting right? bah jadi kamu kan join ani.

ps- rina yg bebau harum. bah. aku layan.. aku ada racket dh utk spanking. ;p u stick with ur vanilla ice cream. banyak g org beguna cpr tu d bio lab ah hahaha.

it hurts to lie to yourself saying that
everythings gonna be alright.

The long post.

Worried sick. Confused. Worried sick about this confusion. And i am getting sick. They said it shows in me. That i am worried sick about one particular thing. I'll tell you what it is when everything is settled. Hopefully...when green turns to yellow. Mudahan tah dpt. amin.

Today i learnt the reality of university life..that despite being in the same institution you don't get to see each other that often. Like Ros, B, Amsyar and Ben i only see them during math 1101 lecture... Dibah and Qilah..i didn't see them since yesterday at all. So don't say i have found a new circle to be with, we hardly even see each other. Secondly, the people i would see almost eveyday are the BioSci firstyrs and they are awesome.

Hari hari saya lihat Husrin. and this will go on for another 4 years. ahahahaha. he is nice though tumpis banar mulutnya ah mun bab hantu hantu ani buleeh. kami yg tkut. haha. i heard he is not talking to someone i know. hey.. stop the silence between you two. hmm its not like i can do anything since i know how that other person's attitude. but just one thing.. just try and stop the 'not talking' routine with everyone you're annoyed with. Its time to grow up and learn how to deal with people with difficult personalities. just try and control that temper. Another thing i learnt today is that most of the 8 of us, the BioSci, klik bnr la with each other....and that chemistry is a difficult subject for us. =/

i learnt too that just being there can make me shed a few of pounds without FZ. gad.the distance we have to rush through is more than 30 minutes of natural runner. and the heat is as affective as the sauna. The food....is...eh inda aku diet kali aa =p to Kerol: manada ku blapar. ukan cam kau malas ambil mknn wlpn lapar =p

And i learnt that i need to be careful when walking with any guy friend when its just the two of us. It seems that when just a friend walk with just a friend, the people around us will start looking and make assumptions.The very good friend might know truth but the people around us don't. So no matter how much i hate to be too cautious .. i must. and i did say that just a friend maybe turn into love so that is why people are looking and making assumptions. But i walk with a lot of them...so how can one manage a lot of assumptions? kan kann. membari sasak.

besides, the heart is only for______________ (insert your assumptions here) =p

hahahahah. this is fun..nada bahh. =p and while aku melayan uri ku... i spent a lot of my waking time reading this book: Benazir Bhutto Autobiography.

Atleast i can pause myself from worrying too much. Its a really good read- about the life of the late Benazir Bhutto, that heroic woman. It is an autobiography so expect historical facts and POV from the woman herself on her country's affair. And she deserves to be an icon..the life she went through was not like most of us. I got it from Best Eastern and there was the a book about Aung Suu Kyi too but.. one at a time. kapih ku. i am not even close to a quarter of the book. but i very much enjoy it.


and to a certain someone who said that i cannot be distracted: don't think i catch your words huh? =p cannot be distracted... hmm. maybe the distractions works slowly. who knows in time...i'll just be drifted away by distractions =/ maybe. hmmm.

I miss flight meals.

You know your day will turn to be an interesting one when..you almost got hit by a stupid pajero in the middle of roundabout (seriously if he didn't brake and screech... god knows what it'll look like.nauzibillah). When another perasan pajero driver bullied us on the road by going slow and braking and playing and yelling "siuk kamu main kan aku atu?" at red trafficlight bila tarang2 si K besignal ah macam nada kami tau langsung kenapa ya cematu. K did nothing to provoke a normal person's anger... only jenis orang perasan suma org sekililingnya menganu iya. (That reminds me of someone). When you know that the brilliant and gorgeous astronaut idol of ours-Shiekh Muzaffar is here in Brunei to give a public lecture for four days!


And when you got back home from giant and recieved a phone call at around 5.30pm after working hours from the mum and she said, "mama ada masalah bah. mama kena suruh ke.....ESUK PAGI" So yes I didn't expect it at all. It was never in our minds or in the plan but it came. And I know she's exremely stressed of going on her own to that place and not being given the chance to reject.


yes you got it. I might be going on board the plane tommorow morning just overnight to somewhere. To where? lets just say...its the last place we'd imagin of going and the last working place..she'd want to go (not with the recent bunch of news and political turmoil)



This time round. I'm not joking. salam.malam.

I don't even know what they are anymore...

I am trying so hard not to be sensitive. Until i met three person in a room. Two trying their best to defend the system and yet through the speech i saw some flaws. One, being a relative of my dad, trying so hard to convince me to love more.

and i'm very upset about some stuffs right now and one might include you. Trying so hard to ignore somethings but it hurts more when you say to yourself that its okay...when you know that's a lie. It seems i'm the only transparent one here...when everyone is hiding something to themselves. I am so transparent that you can read me and yet never realise that i've always been there.

It just hurts so much when people make assumptions but they don't even know the truth.



Anyone of you who has a honda civic- look at this little middle finger. Everyone who has audi...look at this double middle finger. Sigh. I need a scapegoat i can hit and run. Just upset about some things...that i don't even know what those things are.

lalalalalalala.

bear with me. and my random posts. I'm waiting for my actified and erythromycin pills to work. (and i mean doze off)

Googled what erythromycin is used for and i found its usualy used to treat respiratory tract infection. =/ (bye bye batuk and sakit leher) courtesy of wikipedia. AND. its also treats outbreaks of chlamydia, syphillis, acne and gonnorhorea. Not that i need any for the STD's but acne too?? Haha. Siuk eh antibiotic ani. *gila*



lalalalalala.



Maybe i should watch jumong again while waiting for sleep time.


Saya mahu pergi ke Bali! Tapi sadly... dirct flight to bali from brunei will end this month. Saya mahu pergi ke vietnam. Nada dangan. Saya mahu pergi ke korea. Nada usin. Saya mahu pergi kemana saja.... sigh... saya mahu pakai kereta bersama rakan rakan ke Kucing ka or Sabah ka. Kan seronok. Tapi saya gerenti mereka tak di lepas pergi. i want more travel.

Blurting crap at my best when the body is at worst.

I'm sick of being sick. Okay so let me count how many times this year i lost to this damn bacteria...1,2,3...urgh come on immune system.. wake up and get that plasma cells going! I really hate Vitamins (which mum made me drink it just now) I need sleep. But i just started Cashmere Mafia.

Btw, i need a new trick. I totally lost to the inda-ku-ingat-dimana-driving-lesen-ku trick. =p capi banar.

I love talking to my tuition students. It amazes me at the extent these social youths can go at such a tender age. sex and booze? Wow... we really are an expert at covering such sight that i didn't even realise how hardcore the this country's social scene can be. And they talk about it like its their life. Just as long as i'm not involve, the people close to me are not involve...i dun really care. Its their life, their lungs and liver, their innocence they are spoiling. Blah.

Sama sama saya berasa sangat gembira. Since i'm well known to be 'masin', predicted a few topics that might come out in Bio A2 paper 4 to my friends. And most of it came out. YAY. I need to make a prediction booth. One kiss one prediction. Oh wait that sounds wrong.

Wait...one more thing. While going through Shia Lebouf pictures, i was thinking...he really has grown up. I mean grow. into a man. Hot. Not the chain smoking part. But the bod. Why was i going through his pictures. Lets just say... sekali sekala. =p Nites.

When the heart is lost in a maze. I'll go where the wind blows.

Tiqah buang tebiat.

I need scientific reasons. Rambut ku macam mikin ikal. I mean...i can accept that nowadays my hair is quite wavy when its dry and all but just now i just realise that its also wavy when its wet. I was born with straight hair (awuuu bnr nya i missed my straight hair bah. Macam org jeles kali ah rambut ku lurus bnr dulu waktu belum baligh =p) hahah. scratch that. But yes... i was born with straight hair. And as i get older...it starts to curl... and not to mention getting lighter in colour. Bah all you scientific freaks out there, i want an explanation. I've read somewhere that straight hair comes from round follicles and wavy, from oval follicles. Mutate kah cells ku ani?? Am i going to end up like Einstein? ohh wait..now i remember. Some people are born with curls but as they get older it straightens. hmmm.

mind me. Mind this post. I'm sick. Coughing like an old lady. kejangkitan Dibah =p hahah (possible kah tu?) And i'm having ielts tommorow. aku ne buang tebiat bah ne.

Plus i need to decide between Aberdeen and Reading.... argh.

And please stop asking me about something you all been trying to ask. (mcm ku inda tau dri tadi dh ah ytah mbari malas kan online) Ngalih ku jawab. Why do i have to be the side where people ask questions...adakan is kerana saya adalah perempuan jadi kamu fikir saya tidakkan gigit kamu? =p you're wrong. hahahah. Nites/pagi.

ps- i totally didn't prepare for ielts. =S

Random morning.

Glad to know someone is better today.

Anyways, i actually wanted to post this yesterday but since i was so tired, i cancelled it. While talking with Mul about interviews, i remembered a friend told me that she was asked about Brunei slang. Haha and we found this last night- brunei dictionary. There are a lot of Brunei words/slang complete with meanings. I came across that particular word (i know someone would know what i mean) too but its too kuning and i am not a kuning person =p HAHAH. And this:

Arang-arang
meaning:moaning in pain or pleasure
eg:kanyamanan tah ia tu kan kediaku mun udah arang-arang nyman nya....

Is it just me or does the example seems errr wrong.=p


owh owh and this.

Yo
meaning: calling someone or talking to someone
example: 1) yo, bhapa ko yo? 2) gila yo dimalam ah, score hattrick ku yo

Babu A!~

I hope their interview goes well. =)