It feels heavy sometimes.

Updates?

Well, now is the time of the semester when we battle with our own emotions and negative thoughts about the upcoming exam. While realising that you're getting old, and life is no longer those days when you play carah tiang. Instead, life is about making a difference to the world. Okay maybe thats abit too much. Maybe instead, life has gone from merely sweet lolipops to the bitter taste of seeing how your friends and YOU have grown. Some people grow to be responsible people. Some people grow while kiss-ass-ing their way up. Some people are friends because they feel comfortable with each other. others are friends because they gain benefit from each other. Hey... since when is it this tough?

Everytime i fear about whether i can go through this semester or not, i keep asking, what lies ahead of me. And its only getting difficult. Life when we're kids are like a festive, only everyday. We all are hypocrites if we say we hated politics, because life is one when we get older. There are circles within circles. What you will become 5 years 10 years or 20 years later, is shaped by what you try to become now. What will i become? I don't know. Huhu. I still feel like i have done nothing special in my life. I hope i hope, tommorow, or the day after, i will someday, make something special out of my life.

Hmm. Anyways, the NBT classic Prague Chamber Ochestra was a blast! Just like the Vienna Mozart trio last few weeks ago. =) I just hope that someday, i will go to that ochestra or that concert again with some friends i miss.

And i have been struggling to finish my reports. yeah we're just so near to exam, but theres still some reports to finish. wish me marks for the next rat dissection. I am terrible at dissection. =( and hmm. somethings in my mind. i can't say it out aloud because you just won't believe me if i say i feel that way. You'd just say, no thats not going to happen or no you got it wrong. I did try to say to some people, they just shed it off. I somehow feel so distant from the people i know very well. Never mind.

Somehow. deep inside my heart... you don't know what i'm holding.