I want to eat jab chae!

There is about a million things that frustrate me right now. Some should know what that is. And now i have spent the last faking internet hours searching for a new motivation for me to study...something i can look forward to while going through tough times. Now my motivation is nil and i need to search for something again even if its still under construction. And not to mention finding someone to go with too because i can't take pictures on my own. damnit. Furthermore, i am turning 20 at the end of this year and that frightens me. My previelages will end at 21 and i am running against time here.

In addition to that, the thought of turning 20 really does frightens me. i mean.. that is the borderline between the "18 and legal" and "i was 18 not a while ago and i am always 18 forever" I really do want to stay 19 forever and that is not possible.

And while some people have become more beautiful and kurus (take si dayangku for example) i have not. No i still seriously think i am not beautiful. I have long neglected beauty care and i don't really care what i wear. and i have LINES on my neck! And i have more lines on my palm! Its not smoooth and i care more about that that any other features. so i guess i'll spend the few days looking for the right cream (the skin food is expensive) to prevent these lines. because i saw a girl with pretty face but lines on the neck just spoils it =( Sighs. Yes i am paranoid okay. I don't care if my face is getting chubbier. Just not the neck. hmm i guess weight gain has to do something with it too. Note to self: stop eating apple pies and cupcakes.Yes i gained a lot. (i just weighted myself) and i do not regret eating.

I am also surfing to find out which tea i should drink daily because i sort of drink pu erh tea now. I think i should drink oolong more. It says in website pu erh can reduce cholestrol (oh yes..i am paranoid too regarding cholestrol and artery clog...) hmm yes oolong is the cheaper one but back in China, they call the oolong the 'eternal beauty' like...hmm it burns more fat than green tea too

"the polyphenols found in oolong tea slow down the ageing process "... "Prevents skin damage "

but

"Anaemics should avoid excessive tea-drinking " ..."Too much tea can discolour your teeth. "

hmmm. I should worry less. Out. I want to eat jabchae. Need some potential-holiday surfing to do and sleep.