To Bsc No Life

Pic from BJ

I love us. Lets keep it this way- the happiness, the craziness and the smile, your loud voices and our laughter, our tears and our pressure. I love us. So lets keep it this way Bsc Bioscience. So study harddddd AFANDI EBIL! We don't want to lose you to those probation shit!

May i correct... not that bsc No life but its BSc My life is with all of you now, coming to school to check bacteria on a holiday. You know the people from Bsc Chemistry once said to me, "gauk dah kami, gauk lagi durang bio" But i believe that our batch can ace this more than our seniors could =)


Sigh. I don't wish to lose any of you to probation shit stuff okay. So Play harder. But study hard.

xx.

SOBD is on 19th

Our emotion is not caused by grief and joy, our consciousness is not related to fancy and imagination- Mathnavi of Rumi


Life is full of spasm. HAHA. I don't even know what that means. need to finish NA, Animal and other other wonderful things.

SOBD is again on 19th NOT on 12th. Which now makes me confuse.


Okay bye.

Sunrise- the glow that illuminates.

This marks the end of the lost girl. She has found her place in the world, that is the world it self. I am no longer the Tiqah you knew. Perhaps, i might have disappointed most of you but i, my self is an organism, an animal and i learn that animals acclimate to their surroundings. We all change and evolve to be something more than we were yesterday, but whether that's a good or bad change, its up for you to see it. Therefore, so that you will not be disappointed in me in the future, lets start over.

Hello. My name is Nur Atiqah and i am not a good person. I might not always be there for you. I might not always talk to you. But i can assure you, i hold on to friendship as long as i can and i appreciate each and everyone of you. Religion wise i am liberal but not liberal enough to do stupid things. I am trying to change that, i always do, but please give me sometime to. Romantic wise, i am not looking. I have seen men hurt women a lot of times. At first they said sweet stuffs but even after marriage some still do look for younger women. I find that disgustingly unfair to a person who has committed their lives to marriage. And if you've hurted me a lot (in anyway possible), you're automatically not one of my choices. I like to learn new things, to see new places and learn from what i experience, that is my ultimate enjoyment. I don't study so much. I go out a lot. I procrastinate my homework. But i never hope to bring anyone in this bad habit of mine so i hope that won't stop you from being my friend. Since long time ago, people scolded me for that saying that i have so much potential in me that i should do my best to show that. I'm trying to be a normal good student who does her assignments on time and study a lot. I don't have much hope in this but i hope i really can at least start. It is the 4th semester anyway and i am approaching my third year. I am short tempered and i get annoyed with things when i am moody but that is just short term. So that is me. All i can say is the bad things in me so that you know now. About the good things in me, i'll have to leave that to you. Nice to meet you.



There are two kinds of light - the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures. ~James Thurber


I'd like to be the Nur that illuminates.

Fridays

Inda kamu liat betapa bidanya map ku! HAHA. This is what we do on Fridays. School on a friday. AWU we have class on fridays. Sigh.


OCD tia ku

Mau main?

Mau Mau!

True. The only thing that kept me alive is them and MJJ (my versi of BJBJ). You know what, sometimes things take a unpredictable turn in life. Once, you were blinded with happiness, then it goes leaving a scar. But life its not all about cherries, so lets just keep moving forward. If you're tired, stop a while or take a rest but never give up. I've seen worst and yet, i've also seen people moving forward even after the worst has happened. the only way for you to grow is for you to experience right? As Mary case once said, "No pressure, No diamonds!" I'm not close to become a diamond, i know that. I crack under some circumstances too, but at least i won't let anyone treat me the same way as they've treated anyone else. I am special, so treat me with care. You are special too, so you should be treated respectfully. Lets live that way.

Happy CNY to all!

Don't judge a person from its cover, this beech is a good oprah you know.

For a new year with great hopes.

The special thing about you all is that, i can be whoever i make my self to be and you would still call me Tiqah. No protocols, no hypocrisy, no need to suppress the inner me. Maybe i changed a little, but i'd like to think that its for the best. I am not a good person i know that, but thank you for accepting me no matter how i am to you. Sorry for being such a bad friend sometimes. Thanks you so much for everything. Remember this for if i'm gone one day, this shall be how i thank you all for being in my life.


Its our second year, and we should be clear on our goals now. I read a person's blog and i envy that she has a clear goal in her mind. Its such a great goal that she would do anything for it. But no matter how i think of it, my goals in life are funny you know and i cannot change it to suit my biology background. I don't really have a specific goal of where i want to work or what i want to be. My ultimate goal in life is to travel and to contribute to the children and mothers of the world. Maybe because i've seen what its like to feel pain at a young age and to see a mother being abused. Nevertheless, this is a goal right? Haha so i will shall live my life for it. And you should live for yours too.


And no matter how dark life becomes, i shall still be here. But that is up for you to see it for yourself.


Love you all. T.

Should i give up or should i keep on chasing pavements

Note to self: Kumpul duit for May/June/july, jangan makan macam orang kaya saja, buat report on time!




Even if it leads nowhere.

Dumping thoughts.

It occurred to me....its been a while since i sing. But every time they put on the music, I just feel like dancing. I laughed and i laughed because i don't want to cry about petty things. However, those petty things are small because i made my mind to think that its just a small matter. But what are we going to do? Sometimes what the mind made us think is not the same as what the heart has to say... hmm. It feels awful and yet, i must not whine. It feels painful and yet i must smile. The brain can tell us what to do or how to act but we can't lie to ourselves.


Its been a while since i sing. It does hurt a little.


On another note, while i do think the talk on Ulum-adin is an excellent effort to enforce religious sense in all of us, i still think you cannot force someone to do those things. It must come from the heart and i believe in everyone of us, we all are fighting the demons within us. You cannot judge a person religious-wise. I've been told, "itu urusan dia dengan tuhan. Sedangkan pelacur yang memberi makan seekor anjing lagi masuk ke dalam syurga". We only judge a person from what we can see, what they say and what they do. But can you see prayers? No, definitely not. Only the Al-mighty can. I am not religious, i would agree on that. I made and make countless of mistakes and i acknowledge that. And i know some of us will feel or have done the same too because we're still human. But whether i/you/we ...are good or bad, its not anyone else to decide but only Him. I know its a difficult step to take especially for me but i cannot do this alone... lets just stop judging.


And on another different note (or maybe same), i do get the feelings sometime that some people think of me as a bad person. I am undisciplined, i know. But i never said i am a good person. If you think i've changed, its because i am just like this but you never really get to see this side of me. Its just so easy to lose your way round. I am trying my best, but are you trying your best too to know and accept me for who i am?

hmm. I don't know what to say anymore. I feel so tired. Its just so tiring.

I need a dance because this heart is beating... slow.

Equinox

I visited PTEM website and look what i found! Somehow, i missed this so much. My batch were the second batch of equinox committee and we were working hard every time.

The O-levels were out and my brother did okay. he's just upset that he got a b for a-maths and english and i couldn't understand why he's upset with such result. I mean 6 As is good enough i think. Well i do understand he's upset, he worked very hard for it and has some goals in his mind. But i am more upset knowing the fact that he obtained a distinction 1 for his design and technology subject and this subject is NOT offered anywhere in Brunei (for form 6 that is) except in the ultra expensive JIS.

Sigh. Am i am still doing the same mistake i am doin each year- procrastinating.

no more please!

Would you give it all up?

Grammy Award performance of Gaga and Sir Elton John. One of the BEST YET.